Family, Home, Humor

Karen

I told the Grown Son that I don’t like his use of the term “Karen.”

It’s insulting.

Our next-door neighbor is Karen.

And she’s lovely.

The Grown Son confirmed that next-door Karen is not a Karen.

And neither am I.

He assured me, however, that I am still annoying, even if I’m not a Karen.

By the time he got through his long-winded, backhanded compliment, I had stopped listening.

I had also stopped caring.

Does that make me a Karen?

Whatever.
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Family, Home, Humor, Lifestyle, quarantine

Housekeeping Standards


I had words with the Grown Son about housekeeping standards.

He shared his own wise household hints with me.

His short stint in a bachelor apartment has made him an expert.

I very politely reminded him that he is in my home.

And we will be keeping house up to my standards.

I may have been slightly more harsh than “very polite.”

We reached an amicable compromise.

We’ll do it my way.
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Family, Home, Lifestyle, Mostly True Memoirs

I Washed the Kitchen Floor


I washed the kitchen floor.

I told the family to stay off of it for half an hour.

You would have thought their world had come to an end.

Keep in mind it was 10:30 in the morning.

And everyone had already eaten breakfast.

Please say a prayer for my family during this very difficult time in their lives.
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Family, Home, Humor, Lifestyle

Excuse Me?

I was reading an article on how to know if my relationship is working.

Bob begged me to stop reading it.

Or at least to stop reading it out loud.

But I carried on.

It was funny.

According to the article, we are in trouble.

The information seemed to be based entirely on social media breakups and badly-written romance novels.

It appeared to be written by a precocious middle schooler.

Bob continued to beg me to stop.

But I carried on.

It was funny.

Until I got to the line that urged him to “Stop being the one to fix things around the house.”

Excuse me?

I beg your pardon?

Oh, I don’t think so.

Bob has spent the quarantine fixing things around the house.

He’s detailed the cars.

He’s constructing flower beds.

He’s been knocking down wasp nests as fast as they are going up.

I finally agreed.

It’s time to stop reading this article.

Go ahead, Bob.

Keep fixing things around the house.

I’ll be quiet now.
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Family, Home, Humor, Lifestyle, quarantine

Tiger King


“What the heck is this Tiger King thing I keep seeing?” The Husband asked.

I laughed and laughed and laughed.

I explained Tiger King to him.

“You really watched that?” he asked, surprised.

I watched one episode, and I’ve seen the memes.

That’s all I need to know.

He assured me that if I annoy him during this quarantine, he will play Tiger King at full volume.

Hey, that’s MY threat.
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Family, Home, Humor, Lifestyle, quarantine

I Was Only Kidding


I was only kidding.

It was just a joke.

I swear, The Husband has never encased me in cement.

He’s never even threatened to encase me in cement.

The worst thing he has ever done is to roll his eyes at me.

Which is really, really, really annoying.

It makes me want to encase him in cement.

Except that I don’t know how to do it.

I would have to ask him to help me.

Actually, I would just sweet talk him into doing it himself.

He would probably say yes.

He always does.

But he would roll his eyes at me.

It’s a vicious cycle.
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Family, Lifestyle, T1Diabetes, Writer

April Fools


April Fools!

There’s nothing like a 4:00 am hypo on April Fools’ Day.

I got up with the Grown Son and helped him raise his numbers.

He went back to bed.

I can never sleep after one of those middle-of-the-night scares.

I put up some coffee and unpeeled fruit stickers from all over the kitchen.

There’s nothing like a disturbing diabetes episode to put the fruit sticker flinging into perspective.

I guess I’m going to need a new Inciting Incident.
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