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humor lifestyle storytelling

No Gluten-Free Humor in A Gluten-Free Diet

No gluten-free humor in a gluten-free diet

NO GLUTEN-FREE HUMOR IN A GLUTEN-FREE DIET

There is no gluten-free humor in this gluten-free experiment that I am conducting

Not one bit.

I don’t mind cutting back.

But I’m not at all happy about cutting it out entirely.

I found a GF bread at Costco that’s not so bad.

There are several GF pastas that are good.

I’m rocking that parmesan risotto.

But some recipes just don’t work with substitutes.

I made some ham and cheese crepes with the Thanksgiving leftovers.

I used gluten-free flour.

Every single crepe tore and shredded.

I tried another batch with a thicker batter, but they still shredded up.

I tried a third batch with regular wheat flour, and they cooked up perfectly.

I am happy to be extremely gluten reduced.

But I just can’t eat totally gluten free.

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humor lifestyle storytelling

Thanks for Nothing!

Thanks for nothing!

THANKS FOR NOTHING! WHY DID YOU RAIN ON MY NEW-CAR PARADE?

We got the new car registered.

The letters are RCK.

I told Bob that it’s a shame his name isn’t Rick.

My car could have been named after him.

Bob laughed and told me to count my blessings.

At least it doesn’t start with a D.

Or a C.

Or an F.

Gee, thanks, Bob, thanks for nothing.

Why did you rain on my new-car parade?

Rick would never say a thing like that!

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dog lifestyle storytelling

Are Poodles Water Dogs?

Are Poodles water dogs?

ARE POODLES WATER DOGS?

YES, AND APPARENTLY THEY ARE MUD DOGS TOO!

Are poodles water dogs?

Wrigley was a poodle mix.

Her mixed part must have been a breed that hated water.

Wrigley was not a water dog.

She was always very disgruntled when it rained.

Blue, who is a purebred standard poodle, seems to love the water.

We got over an inch of rain yesterday.

Today the yard is soggy.

Blue went outside, and she came back absolutely caked in mud.

She didn’t mind at all that I had to hose her down.

I minded.

It was only 48 degrees outside.

But I had no choice – that mud was NOT coming into the house.

I’m not sure, but I think she was laughing the entire time.

Lesson learned – Blue stays on a leash when it’s muddy outside!

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diabetes lifestyle storytelling

National Diabetes Awareness Month

National Diabetes Awareness Month

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT’S THAT TIME AGAIN?

IT’S NATIONAL DIABETES AWARENESS MONTH!

National Diabetes Awareness Month occurs every November.

People think that the injections are the worst part of Type One Diabetes.

It’s actually a very, very, very small thing.

But on that first day, the injection really was the worst part.

The kid was terrified.

A couple of hours later, the second time was terrifying too.

But he felt such relief with the insulin that it eased the fear of the shot.

When you give yourself so many injections every day, it quickly becomes the new normal.

Dark humor and sick jokes soon reigned in our house.

When the second son was diagnosed, the nurse tried to demonstrate the injection.

“I’ve got this,” he said boldly, having watched his brother for years.

He didn’t flinch when he gave himself that first shot.

Neither did I.

By that time, we were pros.

Type One Diabetes is a chronic illness, and there is no cure.

Diabetes is a 24/7 condition. There are no vacation days or sick days or time off.

It is a constant worry and struggle.

And it is very, very, very expensive.

Having said that, there are many Type One Diabetics who have achieved great things. Adam Duvall, centerfielder for the Braves, just won a World Series ring. Actress Mary Tyler Moore was T1D, as is Brandon Morrow (MLB pitcher), Nick Jonas (entertainer), and Anne Rice (novelist).

It’s understandable to feel angry and resentful and sorry for yourself.

It’s understandable, but it isn’t productive.

Be like Adam Duvall. Be a T1D champion.

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humor lifestyle storytelling

I Screamed Bloody Murder

I screamed bloody murder

I SCREAMED BLOODY MURDER – WOULDN’T YOU IF YOU WERE IN MY SHOES?

Late last night, I let the dog out.

And then I screamed bloody murder.

The biggest freaking spider you have ever seen in your life scurried into the kitchen.

It looked like a little house spider.

On steroids.

Lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of steroids.

Of course I screamed bloody murder.

What else was I going to do?

Bob usually laughs at me when I scream at spiders.

This time, he was shocked at the size of it.

“Oh F**K,” he swore, slamming a coffee cup over the hairy brute.

It was so big that its massive legs stuck out all around the rim.

I swear I could hear it cursing and threatening us.

Bob courageously flung the massive spider-beast out into the yard.

I helped by flinching, whimpering, and shrieking.

And holding the door open.

When we turned inside, we saw that something had been left behind.

Twitching ominously at us from the kitchen floor was one revolting, hairy, spider leg.

Ewwww.

I’m going to have nightmares.

Nightmares of a man-sized, roid-raged, seven-legged spider.

With one bloody stump.

Returning to stab me in my sleep.

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dog lifestyle storytelling

Such An Amazing Thing!

Such an amazing thing Blue taught herself to do today!

SUCH AN AMAZING THING BLUE TAUGHT HERSELF TO DO TODAY!

I have been trying to get Blue to use the doggy door.

She’s terrified of it.

I haven’t pushed the issue.

I don’t want to stress her out.                          

She’s only been with us a few weeks.

I do hope that she figures it out before the weather turns cold.

I’m dreading the thought of opening the door on frosty mornings.

Today she stuck her head outside and looked around.

Then she tentatively brought her front legs out.

I gave her a gentle push from behind before she could cower back inside.

She startled when the door flap bounced off her rear end.

But then she was very pleased to find herself outside.

All day long she went inside and outside and inside again.

Each time, we did a happy dance together.

What a good girl.

Such an amazing thing Blue taught herself to do today!

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Categories
diabetes lifestyle storytelling

Diabetics Doing Things

Diabetics doing things

ISN’T IT ALWAYS SO INSPIRATIONAL TO SEE DIABETICS DOING THINGS?

It’s World Series time.

My teams have all been eliminated.

Who will I root for?

I do love Jose Altuve.

But could I really support the Astros?

I don’t think so.

On the other hand, Atlanta has Adam Duvall in center field.

Duvall has Type One Diabetes.

He was diagnosed when he was in the minors.

He made the adjustments, and he has kept on playing.

What a badass diabetic!

I’m a Type One Mom, and I love to see diabetics doing things.

He’s a great role model for diabetic children everywhere.

I’m rooting for the Braves.

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humor lifestyle storytelling

A Tornado Warning

A tornado warning

A Tornado Warning Seven Hours Late Isn’t Going To Help, Is It?

We had a major storm move through last night.

I barely slept.

I’m terrified of tornadoes.

I kept the dog close to me all night.

If we lost power, we could lose her in the dark.

As it turns out, the storm wasn’t bad at all.

There was lots of wind and rain, but it wasn’t destructive.

All’s well that ends well.

I was surprised, therefore, to get an emergency text at 9:30 this morning.

It was a tornado warning.

We were advised to take shelter.

At 2:30 in the morning.

Yeah, I got notified seven hours late.

This is why I don’t sleep well during storms.

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dog lifestyle storytelling

Is Blue a True-Blue Blue Angels Fan?

Is Blue a True-Blue Blue Angels Fan?

The Blue Angels are in town.

The air show is this weekend.

They’ve been practicing all day.

I was sitting in the back yard watching them fly.

Poor Blue.

She doesn’t like the noise.

She freaked out and ran around in circles.

I laughed and snuggled her and sent her into the house.

Her name is Blue.

But she does not appreciate the Blue Angels.

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humor lifestyle storytelling

An Agonizing Choice

An Agonizing Choice

AN AGONIZING CHOICE

I was hoping for an early frost.

The bugs would die.

And I was planning on dancing on their bug graves.

In bare feet.

But now I’ve had a change of heart.

My tomatoes have had a huge late-season bloom.

I want the frost to hold off a bit.

But I also want the bugs to die.

And I want to dance barefoot.

It’s an agonizing choice.

But it’s not too much to ask, is it?

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