Categories
humor lifestyle storytelling

A Gruesome Industrial Injury

A gruesome industrial injury

A GRUESOME INDUSTRIAL INJURY

Our roof was destroyed in the hailstorm.

The roofers are here today.

They’ve been pounding and banging and making a racket since 7:00 am.

I can’t complain.

There’s no quiet way to get a new roof.

However, in the past hour, the workers have been making a horrible screaming noise.

I can’t tell if it’s a gruesome industrial injury or not.

The same company is doing several houses on our street.

They’re probably just calling out to each other.

If someone were hurt, they would most likely stop banging and pounding and go to the aid of their poor dismembered colleague.

I haven’t heard any sirens. Yet.

Hopefully they will finish the roof without any gruesome injuries.

Categories
humor lifestyle storytelling

The Porta Potty Guy

The Porta Potty Guy

THE PORTA POTTY GUY

I was driving down a two-lane country road.

I kept plenty of room between me and the pick-up in front of me.

The guy behind me was annoyed.

He wanted me to speed up.

I refused.

He rage-lane-changed around me.

And then he pulled up short.

And slowed down to give the truck in front plenty of room.

Yeah, the guy in front was hauling a couple of Porta Potties.

You’d have to be in a crazy-insane kind of hurry to crowd the Porta-Potty Guy.

I’ve never been in that kind of a hurry.

I’ll never be in that kind of a hurry.

But if anyone ever wants to test it out, it would be very entertaining to watch.

Categories
family lifestyle storytelling

What a Storm We Had Last Night!

What a storm we had last night!

What a storm we had last night!

We had three inches of rain and hail the size of baseballs.

The roof is trashed.

The cars are trashed.

This morning the neighborhood was flooded with roofers and body shops.

The guy who is doing our roof didn’t climb up to do his inspection.

He used a drone which sent pictures down to his tablet.

I never knew that property damage could be so much fun!

The contractors put yard signs in front of the houses they are working for.

It’s not only for advertising, it’s also to ward off the door-to-door guys.

Apparently some of the door-to-door guys can’t read.

They’re ringing the doorbell anyway.

The doorbell guys are by far the most annoying aspect of this storm.

Categories
humor lifestyle storytelling

That Is An Outright Lie

That is an outright lie

THAT IS AN OUTRIGHT LIE

Socks.

Socks are the bane of my existence.

I hate socks.

Women’s socks are labeled as one-size-fits-all.

That is an outright lie.

The one-size-fits-all sock is never small enough nor snug enough.

In the girl’s department socks have sizes, but the large size is 4-10.

Which is the same as the one-size-fits-all sock.

The medium size is 10-2.

Excuse me?

There is an unaccounted-for size that wants to wear socks that fit.

Too-big socks create a sock bump.

Which is a nightmare.

Too-small socks slide down and bunch up.

Which is a nightmare.

Is a 2-6 size range for socks too much to ask for?

Apparently it is too much to ask for.

Thank goodness for flip-flops.

Categories
lifestyle storytelling

The Clock-Changing Thing

The clock-changing thing

I thought Texas had opted out of the clock-changing thing.

Like Arizona.

I was really looking forward to that when I moved here.

And yet here I am, springing forward.

Again.

I am starting to take this personally.

Categories
humor lifestyle storytelling

They Are In No Position To Judge

They are in no position to judge

THEY ARE IN NO POSITION TO JUDGE

The pregnant giraffe that I have been obsessed with since last fall still hasn’t given birth.

Apparently they misjudged her due date.

They misjudged it by a long shot.

I still follow her on YouTube every day.

The Grown Sons continue make fun of me.

They say they could just upload any old video of a giraffe birth.

“Seen one, you’ve seen ‘em all,” they say with callous, youthful indifference.

But I’ve grown attached to Johari.

I want to see HER baby, not any old YouTube clip.

Besides, the Grown Sons have been known to watch videos of other people playing video games.

They are in no position to judge.

Categories
diabetes lifestyle quarantine

April Fools

April Fools

April Fools!

There’s nothing like a 4:00 am hypo on April Fools’ Day.

I got up with the Grown Son and helped him raise his numbers.

He went back to bed.

I can never sleep after one of those middle-of-the-night scares.

I put up some coffee and began to unpeel his fruit stickers from all over the kitchen.

There’s nothing like a disturbing diabetes episode to put the fruit sticker flinging into perspective.

I guess I’m going to need a new Inciting Incident.

Categories
humor lifestyle reading

My Inciting Incident

My Inciting Incident

MY INCITING INCIDENT

Day Whatever of the quarantine.

The grown son has been flicking fruit stickers willy-nilly around the kitchen.

This may very well be my Inciting Incident…

Categories
humor lifestyle quarantine

Day Whatever of the Quarantine

Day Whatever of the Quarantine

DAY WHATEVER OF THE QUARANTINE

Day whatever of the quarantine.

I took a Buzzfeed quiz.

I found out that I am not a psychic.

But already knew that.

So maybe I really am a psychic.

Who’s the psychic now, Buzzfeed?

Categories
lifestyle reading

Season One of True Detective

Season One of True Detective

SEASON ONE OF TRUE DETECTIVE

I just finished Season One of True Detective.

It wasn’t really a cop show.

It wasn’t really about a cold case.

It wasn’t really about what might have happened all those years ago.

That was just the vehicle to tell the story.

The real story was about sin and redemption.

And grief.

And enduring friendship.

I can’t wait to start Season Two.