Humor, Lifestyle, quarantine

Graduation 2020


The Grown Son is a little annoyed at all of the quarantine graduation hoopla.

He didn’t want to go through his own graduation ceremony.

I forced the issue.

He participated grudgingly and only at my insistence.

And now he resents his missed opportunity.

If only he had graduated in a quarantine year…

Sorry, Kid.

I’ll check with your calendar when the next pandemic is unleashed.

Maybe we can work it into your schedule more favorably.
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Lifestyle, quarantine, Writer

An Interesting Concept


I’ve been binge-reading Baldacci thrillers.

I’ve been binge-watching True Detective on HBO.

I can’t help but notice the similarities between Rustin Cohle and Amos Decker.

They both suffered devastating losses.

They both suffered brain injuries.

They both are insufferably self absorbed.

And they are both trying to do the best they can with the rotten hand they’ve been dealt.

Now I want to see a crossover where Cohle and Decker work a case together.

Marty Hart and Melvin Mars would have to show up too, to keep them from killing each other.

It could be a very interesting concept.
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Humor, Lifestyle, quarantine

Dog Groomer


Yay – my dog groomer is back in business.

But it’s not business as usual.

It was curbside drop-off and pick-up only.

People weren’t allowed inside the facility.

I had to wait in the car, and they escorted the dog in and out.

It felt like the elementary school drop-off zone.

But without the bickering, the forgotten library books and the random lost shoe.
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Home, Humor, Lifestyle, quarantine

Gluten Free?


What happened to the whole gluten-free thing?

What in the world are people doing with all of the yeast?

The yeast is all sold out in all of the stores.

I have called around to Albertsons, Aldi, Target, Walmart and two different Krogers.

I finally found some today at Winco.

But it’s not packaged in the usual envelopes.

It comes in a one-pound sack.

And it’s labeled instant yeast.

Is that the same as rapid-rise yeast?

I’m having an I Love Lucy flashback to the episode where she tried to bake bread.

I need to do a Google search on how to use this kind of yeast so I don’t have a Lucy episode of my own.
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Humor, Lifestyle, quarantine

Baking Bread


Everyone has been baking bread during the quarantine.

Including me.

I already had a stash of yeast, so I didn’t need to buy any until recently.

However, it seems that all of the stores are sold out.

People are hoarding yeast like it’s toilet paper.

So I decided to shop on line.

I can’t believe the price gouging.

Sellers are charging $30.00 and more for a $3.00 packet of yeast.

Nope.

I’m not playing that price-gouging game.

I’ll make do without yeast until the stores are restocked.
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Home, Humor, Lifestyle, quarantine

My Inciting Incident


I’m not hoarding.

I am trying to plan my groceries so I don’t have to go to the store so often.

I’m trying to stay ahead of the shopping.

My family is oblivious to my efforts.

This is why we have three opened jars of salsa.

Two opened bags of English muffins.

And several opened packages of cheese.

In the interest of not having to lift a finger, they put empty boxes back in the pantry.

And dishes with one bite remaining back in the fridge.

I may have found my new inciting incident.
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Humor, Lifestyle, quarantine

Yoga Pants


I knew I shouldn’t have worn those threadbare yoga pants to work.

They split right in the middle of a meeting.

Luckily I was on Zoom.

No one noticed.

After the meeting, I took the Walk of Shame across the house.

I changed into yet another threadbare pair of yoga pants.

I might as well wreck them all during the quarantine.

I’ll save the good yoga pants for the post-quarantine Zoom meetings.
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