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humor lifestyle weather

The Perfect Crime

the perfect crime

THE PERFECT CRIME

Bob always mows the lawn himself.

While we were on vacation, he hired a guy to take care of it.

Apparently the gardener never showed up.

The grown son, who did a surprisingly good job of keeping the house tidy in our absence, forgot to mention the no-show lawn guy.

It’s now a jungle out there.

Poor Bob.

He’s got a huge job to do today.

I wouldn’t be surprised if he finds some old appliances or even cars dumped out there.

Maybe even a body.

Bob won’t care, though.

It’s too hot.

He’ll just shovel up the evidence with the lawn clippings so he can go inside for a cold beer.

It’s the perfect crime.

Categories
lifestyle weather

Goodbye

goodbye

Goodbye.

My California vacation is over.

Goodbye beach.

Goodbye perfect weather.

Goodbye family.

Goodbye friends.

Goodbye Baja style Mexican food.

I’m sad to go.

I’ll be back soon.

Categories
humor lifestyle weather

Tornado Sirens

tornado sirens

Tornado sirens!

Panic!

And then calm.

It’s Wednesday.

There are no tornadoes on a Wednesday afternoon.

Just tornado sirens.

It’s the rule.

Whew…

Categories
humor lifestyle weather

Unseasonably Cool Weather

unseasonably cool weather

We are having  unseasonably cool weather here in DFW.

Meanwhile, back in my hometown in So Cal,

they are suffering a sizzling heat wave.

It’s cooler here in Texas than it is on the coast.

If any of you overheated beach folk need to escape that heat,

y’all can come out here and visit me.

We’re having unseasonably cool weather here in Texas.

Categories
humor lifestyle weather

Tornado Sirens

The tornado sirens were going off.

We had plenty of warning.

This storm was predicted.

Our shelter was prepared.

We had blankets and pillows.

A leash for the dog.

Extra cables and batteries for the phones.

An ax and a crowbar in case we need to claw our way out.

I even made a point to wear shoes and socks instead of flip flops.

In case of rubble.

But there was one thing that I hadn’t prepared for.

My socks were the kind that sagged under my feet with every step.

Sock bumps!

This is going to seriously impede any kind of rescue effort.

I don’t know which is worse – sock bumps or tornadoes.

At any rate, the storm passed over us without incident.

My first plan of action was to change my socks.

Now I’m ready for the next round of tornado sirens.

Categories
humor lifestyle weather

And Now We Wait

And now we wait.

We were expecting a monster hailstorm.

Bob tried to put both cars in the garage.

We have a tiny garage.

With the motorcycle, a huge tool bench and the lawn mowing equipment, we don’t have room to park the cars inside.

Bob played Tetris and managed to get both cars in.

However, it was jammed so tight that he couldn’t open the door to get out of the car.

I had to open the hatch on the Expedition so he could escape.

But there was no room for the motorcycle.

I suggested that he wheel it inside the house.

We have a large entryway.

There’s room.

Besides, he once put his gas tank in the dryer.

He also cooked some engine parts in the oven and scorched my butcher block afterward.

So why not crack some tiles in the entryway?

It would match the motorcycle-distressed décor of the rest of the house.

However, our very kind neighbor offered up a bit of space in his garage.

Our entryway has been spared.

This time.

And now we wait.

Categories
diabetes lifestyle weather

It Was A Great Day

It was a great day!

We saw the Cubs at the Rangers yesterday.

What an exciting game!

It was tied at 10 in the bottom of the ninth.

The Rangers got a walk-off run on a wild pitch to end the game.

It was very disappointing for us Cubs fans.

Meanwhile, the weather was a very odd factor.

It’s been kind of cool these past few days, so I wore a heavy jacket.

When we arrived, our seats were in the sun.

It was hot, so I took off my jacket.

Soon enough, however, the sun shifted.

We sat in the shade for the rest of the game.

And froze our butts off.

I zipped up my jacket, pulled on the hood, and was very glad that I found some mittens in the pockets. 

I wished I had also found a scarf and a blanket.

As the Jumbotron scanned the crowd, the sunny-side people were seen wearing short sleeves and looking kind of sweaty.

The shady-side people, on the other hand, were seen wearing jackets and hats and were shivering.

It’s hard to believe we were all in the same stadium.

The only disappointing part of the day, aside from the shade-induced frostbite, was that Brandon Morrow didn’t pitch.

I’ve been following him for years.

Brandon Morrow is my hero.

He is a Type 1 Diabetic AND a world-class athlete.

There are other T1Ds that could be a role model for my kids.

But they’re not particularly relevant to a young man.

Mary Tyler Moore (who?).

Sonya Sotomayor (meh).

Nick Jonas (….fuggedaboudit)

But Brandon Morrow…

Now there’s an amazing role model for any T1D kid to emulate.

Sorry we missed you Brandon – we’ll be following you all season.

It was a great day!

Categories
lifestyle weather

Arctic Blast

We had heard that we were going to be hit by an arctic blast.

They weren’t kidding.

Nathan had come home for the weekend.

He got up at the crack of dawn to head back this morning.

At 6:00 am, while we were loading him up in the car, it was 8°.

It was so cold that it hurt!

For the first time ever, I did not linger over our goodbyes.

I did not stand at the curb waving until he turned the corner.

I said, “Bye, I love you.”

And hurried back into the house to get out of the Arctic blast.

I need hot coffee.

Lots and lots of hot coffee.

Categories
lifestyle weather

Fog Advisory

A heavy fog advisory was announced on the local news this morning.

I opened the front door to check out this North Texas fog.

I burst out laughing.

It was just a bit of mist in the air.

It’s not really fog until you can’t see the house across the street.

It’s not even a fog advisory until you can’t see the house next door.

I’m laughing now.

I won’t be laughing so hard come tornado season…