Tag: teacher

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Lifestyle

Stroopwafel Ice Cream Sandwiches Are The Best

stroopwafel

I just ate a stroopwafel ice cream sandwich.

OMG

It was SOOOOO good.

I need to hide the rest of them from my family.

But where can you stash ice cream?

I have all kinds of hiding places around the house, but they won’t work for ice cream.

My family already knows my freezer trick.

Which pretty much involves stashing treats in a frozen broccoli wrapper.

That one worked for a long time, but it doesn’t work anymore.

There aren’t too many other options for the freezer.

I’m out of ideas.

I guess I have to concede.

They’re going to polish off my stroopwafel ice cream sandwiches.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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Lifestyle

The Best Way To Deal With That Drama Quinoa

Quinoa is delicious.

It’s rich and nutty, like brown rice.

When it’s seasoned just right, it’s the perfect addition to any meal.

It’s a very healthy food.

But I still don’t like it.

Why?

Because it’s shaped like tiny little pellets.

Eating quinoa is like eating a bowlful of poppy seeds.

Whenever I eat it, either quinoa or poppy seeds, I spend the next three days flossing debris out of my teeth.

And just when I think I’ve got every possible painful shard scraped out of my gums, another one makes a surprise appearance.

I’ve been flossing more quinoa this week than I actually ate.

I’m not sure how that’s possible, but I swear it’s the truth.

I’ll never eat quinoa again.

Until, that is, someone places a delicious dinner in front of me.

I’m certain to forget my promise.

I’ll eat the meal.

And then, while I spend the next three days flossing nonstop, I’ll promise to never eat it again.

This is the best way to deal with that drama quinoa.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

About Me

This post might include affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a small commission from the seller at no cost to you.

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Lifestyle

Why I Love This Very Delicious Soup

Very Delicious

I was heartbroken to learn that Pea Soup Andersen’s in Buellton, CA has closed.

That place was iconic.

As a memorial, I’m going to make some pea soup for dinner.

I know, I know, I KNOW, pea soup looks like vomit.

I saw The Exorcist.

That pea-soup scene gave me nightmares.

A very delicious soup has gotten a very bad rap from that movie.

You would understand if you’ve ever eaten at Pea Soup Andersen’s.

I found a copycat recipe online.

We’ll have some grilled ham and cheese to go with it.

The Grown Sons will complain bitterly.

They will spend the entire dinnertime making vomit comparisons, discussing demonic possessions, and making gruesome sound effects.

But I don’t care.

We’re having pea soup for dinner.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

About Me

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Lifestyle

The Perfect Lyrics – How To Find Your Own Voice

Perfect Lyrics

February’s coming.

The month of love.

I recently saw a young woman swooning over a Beatles song.

“I want her everywhere. And if she’s beside me I know I need never care.”

Yes, it’s a beautiful love song.

But it was sung by a bunch of kids.

Idealistic kids who had no idea what was in store for the rest of their lives.

Now don’t get me wrong.

I still love, and admire, and respect my husband.

I still enjoy spending time with him, and he still makes me laugh.

But I’d like to see a love song about socks on the floor, falling asleep on the couch, and burnt toast.

What’s that noise, where are the scissors, and why is every single light on in the house.

We’re out of eggs, why is this sticky, and what’s the dog got in her mouth.

I’ve got nothing against romantic idealism.

It’s sweet.

But I’d like to hear a realistic love song for once.

Sung by an older person.

From the suburban trenches.

It would probably have perfect lyrics like, “Shhh, I’m on the phone,” or “Are you sitting on the remote,” or “Oops.”

Now that would be an enduring love song for the ages.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

About Me

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Family

The Snooze Button

Mostly True Memoirs

I don’t like the snooze button.

The few times I tried it, I was crippled with anxiety, waiting for the alarm to startle me again.

How in the world can someone go back to sleep under those conditions?

Apparently my kid can.

His bedroom is right next to my home office, and every morning (or afternoon, depending on his schedule) the snooze button goes off every nine minutes for what seems like hours.

He denies it.

But he’s asleep, so who are you going to believe?

This morning his alarm started going off at 7:00 am.

It continued every nine minutes.

At 8:00 I needed to go out, but his car was blocking mine.

Since he’d been trying to get up for an hour anyway, I woke him up to move his car.

He was angry that I woke him up so early.

Whatever…

Categories
Diabetes

A Fresh New Level of Hell

Mostly True Memoirs

They don’t tell you, when your child is first diagnosed with type one diabetes, that the worst is yet to come.

When the boys were minors, I had the situation under control.

I was in charge.

I monitored the insulin, the blood sugar, the diet, the pharmacy, the insurance, the doctor appointments.

Now I need to hand over the reins.

“Don’t you have an endo appointment this week?” I asked the Grown Son.

“Don’t worry about it,” was the blow-off I received.

“But – ”

“I’ve got it covered. Stop treating me like a child.”

Well OK then.

A few days later he sheepishly confessed that he had missed his appointment.

He forgot all about it.

I told him that he would be responsible for the no-show fee.

I made him call the doctor’s office himself to apologize and to reschedule the visit.

“When is your new appointment?” I asked him.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ve got it covered,” he blustered.

And around we go.

I am completely unprepared for this fresh new level of diabetes-mom hell.

Categories
Family

Netflix and Chill

Mostly True Memoirs

Bob was painting the back door.

At 7:00 pm, it was still not dry enough to hang the door back up.

The temperature had dropped significantly, as it does in January.

The house felt like Siberia.

I had no choice.

I had to go to bed.

I piled on several dozen blankets, and then I wrapped myself up in a weighted blanket.

Like a burrito.

I planned to watch some TV.

Instead, I fell asleep.

I woke up at 10:30 fully refreshed and also fully annoyed.

This is not what I expected from Netflix and chill.

Categories
Family

What a Disappointment – We Can’t Have Our NYE Bonfire!

Mostly True Memoirs

What a Disappointment – We Can’t Have our NYE Bonfire!

What a disappointment!

It’s pouring rain today, and it’s expected to rain all night.

I guess we won’t have our NYE bonfire after all.

Which may be just as well.

Bob said, at our last bonfire, that he saw a rat in the woodpile on the corner of our property.

Say what?

A rat?

That’s it, I’m leaving home.

I’m outta here.

Bob laughed and said there is always a rat in any woodpile.

Yeah, nah, I’ll pass.

That Hell Hole has just gotten a whole lot Hell Hole-ier.

Rats – ewww.

Categories
Lifestyle

Spelling is Important

Mostly True Memoirs

My neighbor just posted a notice that they are missing their dog bowels.

They had been on the front porch, but now they are gone.

Has anyone seen their dog bowels?

Oh goodness.

I do want to be neighborly, but I really don’t want anything to do with their dog bowels.

Sigh…

Spelling is important.

Proofread, people.

Please proofread.

Categories
Work

National Slap Your Annoying Coworker Day

Mostly True Memoirs

Today, October 23, is National Slap Your Annoying Coworker Day.

I saw it online so it has to be true.

What a great concept!

Unfortunately, I work alone.

Big sigh.

I’m feeling the FOMO now.

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