Mostly True Memoirs
NOTHING SEEMS TO WORK
The thing about fire ant bites is that you absolutely cannot scratch them.
Scratching releases the venom and morphs them from Satan’s Painfully Itchy Blister into Satan’s Painfully Itchy Massive Welt.
However, the bites are very, very, very itchy.
Not scratching is torture.
Scratching, however, only provides relief when you are actually scratching.
The minute you stop, the itchiness is even worse than before.
I am certain that Satan designed this strategically.
I asked the pharmacist if he could recommend anything for the itch.
I’ve tried everything, and nothing seems to work.
He suggested hemorrhoid cream.
Guess what?
It works!
I guess this proves that fire ants are really nothing more than vicious little a##holes.