Categories
diabetes humor storytelling

A Type One Diabetes Mom

The fun never stops for a type one diabetes mom

Seriously? The fun never stops for a Type One Diabetes Mom.

Seriously? The fun never stops for a type one diabetes mom. Someone needs to think ahead, and it looks like it’s got to be me.

I thought I knew it all about being a Type One Diabetes Mom.

Apparently, I still have some lessons to learn.

Last night I learned that I need to hide some glucose tablets.

I know, I know, it seems counterintuitive to hide this lifesaving measure from the very people who need it the most.

But hear me out.

I have told both Grown Sons, over and over and over, to stay ahead of their diabetes supplies.

If they are prepared, they will never run out.

“Mom I need a glucose tablet,” one of them bellowed late last night.

“I just bought you some.”

“Well, I’m out.”

Seriously? Does he eat them like candy? How can he be out already?

I asked the other Grown Son for a glucose tablet.

He was also out.

This one seems to eat them like candy too.

Neither of them gave any thought to replenishing their supplies.

I had some marshmallows in the pantry, so the problem was solved.

Today I bought a new supply of glucose tablets.

I gave a stack to each Grown Son.

I kept some for myself and hid them.

Someone needs to think ahead.

And it’s probably not going to be either one of them.

Seriously. The fun never stops for a Type One Diabetes Mom.

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Categories
humor lifestyle storytelling

No Gluten-Free Humor in A Gluten-Free Diet

No gluten-free humor in a gluten-free diet

NO GLUTEN-FREE HUMOR IN A GLUTEN-FREE DIET

There is no gluten-free humor in this gluten-free experiment that I am conducting

Not one bit.

I don’t mind cutting back.

But I’m not at all happy about cutting it out entirely.

I found a GF bread at Costco that’s not so bad.

There are several GF pastas that are good.

I’m rocking that parmesan risotto.

But some recipes just don’t work with substitutes.

I made some ham and cheese crepes with the Thanksgiving leftovers.

I used gluten-free flour.

Every single crepe tore and shredded.

I tried another batch with a thicker batter, but they still shredded up.

I tried a third batch with regular wheat flour, and they cooked up perfectly.

I am happy to be extremely gluten reduced.

But I just can’t eat totally gluten free.

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dog humor storytelling

The Rabbits Have Been Warned!

There's a new good girl in town.

THERE’S A NEW GOOD GIRL IN TOWN. THE RABBITS HAVE BEEN WARNED!

Wrigley was a good girl.

She was The Best Dog Ever.

But she was a terrible hunter.

Her life was spent chasing rabbits and squirrels and cats and birds.

She never once caught anything.

On a few occasions, she cornered a critter.

But it always got away.

Blue, on the other hand, has proven herself to be quite a hunter.

This weekend, she killed her first rabbit.

Ewww.

Don’t get me wrong, I hate rabbits.

They’re destructive, evil garden wreckers disguised as adorable, fluffy Disney characters.

I don’t want the rabbits killed.

I just want them chased away.

Blue didn’t get that message.

She killed it.

Thankfully she didn’t know what to do with it once she broke its neck.

It was not as gross of an ordeal as it could have been.

I’m kind of horrified.

The Grown Son is proud.

The rabbits have been warned.

There’s a new good girl in town.

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Categories
dog humor storytelling

Did We Learn Anything?

Did we learn anything?

DID WE LEARN ANY MEANINGFUL LESSONS FROM THIS ILL-ADVISED INCIDENT?

Wrigley was the Best Dog Ever.

She was the Best Dog Ever, but she wasn’t perfect.

She refused to play with toys.

She was very cute, and she was very snuggly, but she never once played ball.

Now we have Blue.

The Grown Son is thrilled that Blue loves to play fetch.

She is also learning to play tug-of-war with her rope toy.

At first, she would give it up easily when we tugged on it.

Now she is learning about the fun of hanging on.

Last night the Grown Son pulled a prank on Blue.

He snuck down the darkened hallway and jumped out at her.

Oh goodness, that was an ill-advised incident.

It did not end well.

Blue was so surprised that she peed herself.

The Grown Son spent the rest of the evening snuggling her to apologize.

He couldn’t stop laughing about her reaction, but he felt horrible about scaring her.

Lesson learned – Blue is not ready for pranks.

Lesson learned – The person who scares the pee out of the dog has to clean it up.

Lesson learned – Blue forgave the Grown Son and all is well.

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Categories
humor lifestyle storytelling

Thanks for Nothing!

Thanks for nothing!

THANKS FOR NOTHING! WHY DID YOU RAIN ON MY NEW-CAR PARADE?

We got the new car registered.

The letters are RCK.

I told Bob that it’s a shame his name isn’t Rick.

My car could have been named after him.

Bob laughed and told me to count my blessings.

At least it doesn’t start with a D.

Or a C.

Or an F.

Gee, thanks, Bob, thanks for nothing.

Why did you rain on my new-car parade?

Rick would never say a thing like that!

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Categories
dog lifestyle storytelling

Are Poodles Water Dogs?

Are Poodles water dogs?

ARE POODLES WATER DOGS?

YES, AND APPARENTLY THEY ARE MUD DOGS TOO!

Are poodles water dogs?

Wrigley was a poodle mix.

Her mixed part must have been a breed that hated water.

Wrigley was not a water dog.

She was always very disgruntled when it rained.

Blue, who is a purebred standard poodle, seems to love the water.

We got over an inch of rain yesterday.

Today the yard is soggy.

Blue went outside, and she came back absolutely caked in mud.

She didn’t mind at all that I had to hose her down.

I minded.

It was only 48 degrees outside.

But I had no choice – that mud was NOT coming into the house.

I’m not sure, but I think she was laughing the entire time.

Lesson learned – Blue stays on a leash when it’s muddy outside!

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Categories
diabetes lifestyle storytelling

National Diabetes Awareness Month

National Diabetes Awareness Month

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT’S THAT TIME AGAIN?

IT’S NATIONAL DIABETES AWARENESS MONTH!

National Diabetes Awareness Month occurs every November.

People think that the injections are the worst part of Type One Diabetes.

It’s actually a very, very, very small thing.

But on that first day, the injection really was the worst part.

The kid was terrified.

A couple of hours later, the second time was terrifying too.

But he felt such relief with the insulin that it eased the fear of the shot.

When you give yourself so many injections every day, it quickly becomes the new normal.

Dark humor and sick jokes soon reigned in our house.

When the second son was diagnosed, the nurse tried to demonstrate the injection.

“I’ve got this,” he said boldly, having watched his brother for years.

He didn’t flinch when he gave himself that first shot.

Neither did I.

By that time, we were pros.

Type One Diabetes is a chronic illness, and there is no cure.

Diabetes is a 24/7 condition. There are no vacation days or sick days or time off.

It is a constant worry and struggle.

And it is very, very, very expensive.

Having said that, there are many Type One Diabetics who have achieved great things. Adam Duvall, centerfielder for the Braves, just won a World Series ring. Actress Mary Tyler Moore was T1D, as is Brandon Morrow (MLB pitcher), Nick Jonas (entertainer), and Anne Rice (novelist).

It’s understandable to feel angry and resentful and sorry for yourself.

It’s understandable, but it isn’t productive.

Be like Adam Duvall. Be a T1D champion.

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Categories
humor lifestyle storytelling

I Screamed Bloody Murder

I screamed bloody murder

I SCREAMED BLOODY MURDER – WOULDN’T YOU IF YOU WERE IN MY SHOES?

Late last night, I let the dog out.

And then I screamed bloody murder.

The biggest freaking spider you have ever seen in your life scurried into the kitchen.

It looked like a little house spider.

On steroids.

Lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of steroids.

Of course I screamed bloody murder.

What else was I going to do?

Bob usually laughs at me when I scream at spiders.

This time, he was shocked at the size of it.

“Oh F**K,” he swore, slamming a coffee cup over the hairy brute.

It was so big that its massive legs stuck out all around the rim.

I swear I could hear it cursing and threatening us.

Bob courageously flung the massive spider-beast out into the yard.

I helped by flinching, whimpering, and shrieking.

And holding the door open.

When we turned inside, we saw that something had been left behind.

Twitching ominously at us from the kitchen floor was one revolting, hairy, spider leg.

Ewwww.

I’m going to have nightmares.

Nightmares of a man-sized, roid-raged, seven-legged spider.

With one bloody stump.

Returning to stab me in my sleep.

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Categories
dog lifestyle storytelling

Such An Amazing Thing!

Such an amazing thing Blue taught herself to do today!

SUCH AN AMAZING THING BLUE TAUGHT HERSELF TO DO TODAY!

I have been trying to get Blue to use the doggy door.

She’s terrified of it.

I haven’t pushed the issue.

I don’t want to stress her out.                          

She’s only been with us a few weeks.

I do hope that she figures it out before the weather turns cold.

I’m dreading the thought of opening the door on frosty mornings.

Today she stuck her head outside and looked around.

Then she tentatively brought her front legs out.

I gave her a gentle push from behind before she could cower back inside.

She startled when the door flap bounced off her rear end.

But then she was very pleased to find herself outside.

All day long she went inside and outside and inside again.

Each time, we did a happy dance together.

What a good girl.

Such an amazing thing Blue taught herself to do today!

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Categories
diabetes lifestyle storytelling

Diabetics Doing Things

Diabetics doing things

ISN’T IT ALWAYS SO INSPIRATIONAL TO SEE DIABETICS DOING THINGS?

It’s World Series time.

My teams have all been eliminated.

Who will I root for?

I do love Jose Altuve.

But could I really support the Astros?

I don’t think so.

On the other hand, Atlanta has Adam Duvall in center field.

Duvall has Type One Diabetes.

He was diagnosed when he was in the minors.

He made the adjustments, and he has kept on playing.

What a badass diabetic!

I’m a Type One Mom, and I love to see diabetics doing things.

He’s a great role model for diabetic children everywhere.

I’m rooting for the Braves.

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