Mostly True Memoirs
Why I’m so Full of Regret
Ever have one of those days when you’re full of regret?
One of those days when everything goes wrong?
And everything takes way longer than it should?
And when it’s all over, you realize that it was your own darn fault.
You could have finished that all-day project in 15 minutes.
If you were only paying attention.
Yeah, that was me.
I’m the one that spent hours and hours and hours on a 15-minute project.
I was so furious that I rage-ate a bag of gumdrops.
That’s not such an easy thing to do.
Gumdrops are just too cute for rage.
Also, they’re very sweet and kind of disgusting.
Yep, I’m full of regret.
And a little bit of ick.
I never rage-eat.
I usually rage-workout.
But I can’t right now because of my postop knee.
At any rate, my project is done.
My rage is abated.
And I may never eat gumdrops again.