Mostly True Memoirs

I WOULD MAKE A TERRIBLE SPY
The theme for our Toastmasters meeting last night was James Bond.
In honor of Sean Connery.
I would make a terrible spy.
I would stick my foot in my mouth and blow my spy persona.
Then I would try to compensate and only make it worse.
That would be before the martinis.
Once the martinis started flowing, I would still put my foot in my mouth.
But I wouldn’t even try to compensate.
I would just blabber all of the secrets.
And laugh.
Yeah, I can’t lie.
Which made my recent incident of punking my kid so epic.
He was furious that I pulled it off so well.
But he was also impressed.
As was I.
It was a bittersweet moment.
I have peaked.
I will never be able to lie so beautifully again.
Or will I?