Mostly True Memoirs
I had so many questions.
In the bread aisle at Kroger was a very tall, heavyset woman.
In a cow costume.
Complete with horns, udders, and a tail.
Incongruously, she was also wearing bear-claw slippers.
Topping off the ensemble, she was sporting a flowery fanny pack.
How did she get that thing buckled up around the cow suit?
Wow.
I had so many questions.
But I hesitated to strike up a conversation.
What do you say to a gigantic cow-bear woman?
I wondered if I could surreptitiously take her picture.
But again, I hesitated.
She was as freakishly large as I am freakishly small.
She could take me out with one hoof.
Or paw.
Whatever.
I had so many questions.
And now I’ll never know the answers.