Categories
storytelling

I Had So Many Questions

I had so many questions

I had so many questions.

In the bread aisle at Kroger was a very tall, heavyset woman.

In a cow costume.

Complete with horns, udders, and a tail.

Incongruously, she was also wearing bear-claw slippers.

Topping off the ensemble, she was sporting a flowery fanny pack.

How did she get that thing buckled up around the cow suit?

Wow.

I had so many questions.

But I hesitated to strike up a conversation.

What do you say to a gigantic cow-bear woman? 

I wondered if I could surreptitiously take her picture.

But again, I hesitated.

She was as freakishly large as I am freakishly small.

She could take me out with one hoof.

Or paw.

Whatever.

I went on my way.

I had so many questions.

And now I’ll never know the answers.

Categories
storytelling

My Swan Song for 2020

My Swan Song

MY SWAN SONG FOR 2020

The sh**show that is 2020 just keeps on giving.

I did a load of wash with some Kleenex in a pocket.

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the backyard, plucking thousands and thousands of Kleenex shards off of all of the clothes.

And cursing.

With any luck, this will be my swan song for 2020.