It’s Why I’ll Be Screeching La Cucaracha Forever

Mostly True Memoirs

I’ll be screeching la cucaracha forever

Mostly True Memoirs

It's why I'll be screeching la cucaracha forever

La Cucaracha

Rumor has it that a deadly, poisonous caterpillar has invaded North Texas.

I read it online so it’s gotta be true.

Walking through the park, I kept my eyes open for danger.

I didn’t see any Killer Katerpillars.

But I did see a whole lot of grasshoppers.

Were there always so many grasshoppers?

I never noticed.

There I was, minding my own business, trying my best to dodge any potential lethal caterpillars, when a huge, enormous, ugly grasshopper flew right at me and landed on my sleeve.

I screamed.

It was a loud, hysterical, girly, eww-a-bug scream.

And then I flicked it off.

Embarrassed, I looked around to see if anyone had witnessed my foolishness.

If my husband had seen it, he would have rolled his eyes and muttered, “Oh for **** sake,” under his breath, denying that he did, in fact, say it.

If my sons had seen it, they would have mocked me with incessant eww-a-bug screams of their own.

If my sister had seen it, she would have screamed louder than me, in which case I could have mocked her and spared my own dignity.

If a stranger had seen it, well, I don’t even want to contemplate that kind of humiliation.

Luckily, no one saw me do la cucaracha.

I’m a Texan now.

It’s time to toughen up on the bug front.

Aww, who am I kidding?

I’ll be screeching la cucaracha forever.


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