Mostly True Memoirs
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Cheese Dip Is The Answer
I nearly screamed in fright.
A raccoon was perched menacingly on top of the dresser.
In the house?
Those things are vicious.
And probably disease ridden.
On closer inspection, it was not a raccoon at all.
It was a hat.
One of those big fluffy hats with ear flaps.
Similar to what Ignatius J. Reilly wore in A Confederacy of Dunces.
Yeah, I heard it as soon as I said it.
But in the bleary pre-dawn darkness, I could have sworn it was a raccoon.
Ignatius said, “When my brain begins to reel from my literary labors, I make an occasional cheese dip.”
I guess this is my cue to go and make some cheese dip.