Mostly True Memoirs
I WATCHED THE BACHELOR
I did it.
I watched The Bachelor.
Everyone is talking about it, so I had to see what’s going on.
The guy who is starring this season is from my hometown.
So it’s got that going for it.
I only lasted about three minutes.
I couldn’t take any more.
I feel violated.
All I can think of is the quote from Billy Madison, “…everyone in this room now dumber for having listened to you…”
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go bleach my eyeballs.
And my ears.
And my soul.
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