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humor lifestyle storytelling

Dueling Banjoes

Dueling Banjoes

DUELING BANJOES

I went to a gathering at a home way out in the country.

It took me forever to get there.

Google maps kept taking me from one pitted dirt road to another pitted dirt road.

Each one was narrower and more overgrown than the next.

I was a little nervous.

Finally, I found the house.

It was a lovely, bucolic, relaxing country venue.

It was worth the drive.

Until it was time to go home.

The drive back was freaking scary in the dark.

Especially because I was alone.

I swear I could hear Dueling Banjoes in the air.

However, I did make it home in one piece.

Perhaps I might have over-reacted just a teeny, tiny, itsy-bitsy, little bit.

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humor lifestyle storytelling

Hatch Chiles

Hatch chiles

I bought a big bag of Hatch chiles.

I chopped one chile up and sauteed it with some onions to eat in a chicken dish.

It was quite tasty, but I couldn’t figure out what the all the fuss is about Hatch chiles.

Until I roasted the rest of them.

Roasting, apparently, stimulates their inner Satan.

I discovered a tiny cut on one hand that I didn’t even know was there.

Violent cursing may or may not have ensued.

I made a big batch of salsa with the roasted chiles.

It is very tasty, but quite hot.

I’m going to have to make some chilaquiles.

Everyone knows that chilaquiles with green sauce is the BEST.

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humor lifestyle storytelling

Being Hot Never Hurts

Being hot never hurts

BEING HOT NEVER HURTS

Whoo – it is hot out!

Well, it’s August, it’s to be expected.

It’s hot, it’s humid, its stifling, it’s awful.

But it’s OK.

I just try to keep Debbie Harry’s profound words of wisdom in mind.

“Being hot never hurts.”

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humor lifestyle storytelling

Corn. Seriously?

Corn. Seriously?

CORN. SERIOUSLY?

I saw one of those word search puzzles.

It said that the first word I read was my heart’s desire.

I saw “corn.”

Well that’s a huge disappointment.

Fortune or True Love might have been more inspiring.

On the other hand, I do like corn.

Corn on the cob, corn bread, corn chowder, corn pudding, corn tortillas.

It’s all good.

And it’s certainly an achievable goal.

So yeah, I guess now I’ve got corn to look forward to.

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lifestyle memoir storytelling

A Larry McMurtry Tribute

A Larry McMurtry tribute

A LARRY McMURTRY TRIBUTE

The Modern Art Museum is hosting a Larry McMurtry tribute all month.

They’re showing the movies and hosting a discussion.

This weekend, we went to see The Last Picture Show.

I loved the book, but I had never seen the movie.

I’m glad I went.

The movie was very true to the book.

At home I tried to watch Texasville, which is the sequel.

But I couldn’t find the movie streaming anywhere.

I watched Hud instead.

The film strayed from the book, but it was still a great movie.

McMurtry’s books were very controversial when they were first published.

My mother used to hide them.

I’m not sure if she hid them from me or if she hid them for me.

I always found them and read them.

I’m certain she knew.

She would have loved this McMurty tribute.

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dog lifestyle storytelling

Good For The Soul

Good for the soul

My mother always said that cleaning the house is good for the soul.

She was right.

Cleaning the cobwebs out of the corners also clears the cobwebs out of your head.

And your heart.

It is very good for the soul.

This week I have mopped floors, cleaned rugs, organized cabinets and done a lot of yard work.

Losing my dog still hurts.

Staying busy has helped.

I’m on a waiting list at several rescue facilities.

We’ll have a new pup soon enough.

The Grown Sons have assured me that the new dog will only be second best.

No dog could ever live up to Wrigley’s standards.

They say that now.

Soon enough, the new dog will be the Best Dog Ever.

In its own way.

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dog family storytelling

Good Girl, Wrigley

Good girl, Wrigley

GOOD GIRL, WRIGLEY

Wrigley.

August 3, 2005 – August 3, 2021.

Well, we aren’t really sure about her birthdate.

We rescued her on August 3, 2006, and she was about a year old, so we assigned her the birthdate.

The boys were little, and birthdays were important.

Wrigley has been with us for 15 years.

She has seen us through a lot of hard times.

She comforted both of our mothers during their final illnesses.

And she consoled the family after each loss.

She saw the boys through their teen years.

And she helped each of the boys, in turn, adjust to their T1 diabetes diagnosis.

She was the anchor in our family, and now she is gone.

The house feels adrift and bleak without her in it.

We rescued her, but I think that she really rescued us.

Good girl, Wrigley, good girl.

Categories
humor lifestyle storytelling

Broken Glass

Broken glass

BROKEN GLASS

I’m the only one who drinks wine in my family.

I have a nice set of wine glasses that I use for company.

But for myself, I have a casual set that I got for my 26th birthday.

When we moved, I was down to three glasses.

Then I was down to two.

Now, one.

It was in the dish drainer.

And then it was on the floor in a zillion pieces.

When the last one breaks, it will symbolize the end of my youth.

I need to be careful with it.

Meanwhile, while I was unloading the dishwasher this morning, I knocked the sugar bowl off the counter.

Who knew that one small glass bowl could burst into so many glass shards?

I bet if I put them back together, I could get two or even three sugar bowls out of the debris.

What’s up with all this broken glass?

I never break stuff.

And now I’ve broken two things in one week.

Maybe I need to relax with a glass of wine.

Or maybe I need to stop relaxing with a glass of wine.

One of them is probably right.

Categories
humor lifestyle storytelling

Fight Club

Fight Club

FIGHT CLUB

We all know the first rule of Fight Club.

Which is really too bad.

We had a great time.

There might have been a cage match between Toenails and Bamm Bamm.

Or maybe not.

There was a rumor that there was some delicious food.

Whiskey shots may or may not have been flowing.

And definitely, maybe, probably not, or certainly there was some heckling.

There’s really no way to be sure.

If you missed it, you’ll never know.

Because of that first rule.

Categories
humor lifestyle storytelling

I’ve Had A Rough Week

I've had a rough week

I’VE HAD A ROUGH WEEK

I’ve had a rough week.

It started with an aggravating three-hour phone call for Bob to confirm his flight. I don’t usually announce when he’s out of town, but both Grown Sons are home with me so it’s OK. Because of the extra-long phone call, we missed picking my car up from the shop where it was being serviced.

Without my car, I couldn’t drive Bob to the airport because no way am I driving his big-a$$ truck. The Grown Son made the airport run in the big-a$$ truck.

Meanwhile, a huge light fixture started to sag away from the ceiling. With Bob out of town, I had to call a handyman. Who couldn’t come until the next day. I was terrified all day that it was going to crash down and cause some very expensive damage.

While I was fretting about the impending light-fixture crash, the power went out. And stayed out. It was 101 degrees. And raining. It was a sauna outside. I envisioned a very hot and very slow crock-pot-like suffocation due to no air conditioning and no ceiling fans.

Thankfully, the power came back on within an hour. And the handyman showed up and fixed the light fixture before it fell. And the Grown Son drove me to pick up my car.

You would think that would be enough.

You’d think.

But then there were the maggots. Yes, maggots. I had thrown out a rotten orange. I was going to take the trash out as soon as the rain let up. But then I noticed the bugs. They were worm-like, but they crunched when I squished them. They were all over the garbage, and all over the kitchen floor. The heck with the rain, I took the trash out right away. And scrubbed every surface. And used bug spray. And threw away the rest of the oranges. Because eww.

Eww, eww, eww.

Now I have the heebie jeebies. I’m creeping out over those maggots.

I am officially begging for mercy.