Mostly True Memoirs

My Blackberries Are Ripe! However, Dignity Seems To Be In Short Supply.
My blackberries are ripe!
Well, the first lot is ready.
There will be a new batch ripening every day for a couple of weeks.
I brought a bucket outside and started picking.
Bob can make me blackberry smoothies when I have my knee surgery.
I was happily filling my bucket when it happened.
A snake.
I stepped on a snake.
I had read that copperheads like blackberry bushes.
And sure enough, there it was.
I did the only thing I could think of in the moment.
I screamed at the top of my lungs.
You probably heard me all the way across the country.
And then…
And then I realized.
It wasn’t a snake.
It was Blue’s rope toy.
Well that was a waste of a good hair-raising scream.
Karma must have been lurking over my shoulder.
A raised nail head on the fence ripped a hole in the seat of my pants.
I guess that’s what I get for screeching so loud over a doggy toy.
I sacrificed my pants.
And my dignity.
But I’ve got fresh blackberries so it’s worth it.