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It’s A Developing Story – Stay Tuned For Updates

Mostly True Memoirs

It's A Developing Story

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A Developing Story

The weather is cooling down.

It’s not cold.

But it’s cool.

I’ve added an extra blanket to the bed.

But apparently that’s not enough.

Last night I couldn’t go to sleep because my feet were cold.

I could have just gotten up to put on a pair of socks.

But it was too cold to do that.

So I lay in bed and complained bitterly.

If I had half a brain, I would have realized that getting a pair of socks would have been the obvious solution.

It would have been a moment of cold discomfort in exchange for a night of comfortable warmth.

But I obviously don’t have half a brain.

I shivered and complained until I finally fell asleep.

Maybe tonight I’ll figure out a solution to this very frustrating problem.

Stay tuned to the developing story.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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Lifestyle

I Didn’t Do It This Time, But I Tried

Mostly True Memoirs

I didn't do it

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I Didn’t Do It

I didn’t do it.  

Seriously.  

I wrote an article for a client.  

They ran it through an AI Detector.  

They told me it looks like AI wrote it.  

Should I be insulted?  

Or should I be proud?  

Do I write so well that it looks like a bot wrote it?  

Or do I write so badly that it looks like a bot wrote it?  

The client didn’t clarify that point.  

At any rate, I didn’t do it.  

I did not use AI to write this piece.  

AI does lots of wonderful things.  

But it can’t write.  

It overwrites, creating pieces that are terminally mansplained.  

As an aside, I hate the word “mansplain.”  

It’s sexist.  

I am just as capable as any man of speaking in a condescending and patronizing tone.  

*Note to self – invent a better word.  

At any rate, I have tried to get AI to write a blog post for me.  

Just to see if it could capture my voice.  

For the record, it can’t capture my voice.  

No matter which AI program I use or how many detailed prompts I give it, it just writes a terrible imitation of me.  

So, no, Mr. Client, I did not use AI to write your article.  

I didn’t do it.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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Lifestyle

The Movie Is Never As Good As The Book

Mostly True Memoirs

This movie was great!

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It’s A Great Movie!

I didn’t know that As I Lay Dying was made into a movie.

How did I miss that?

I would have thought it would be an old, classic flick.

But it’s modern.

Ish.

2013.

I was very pleasantly surprised to see that this movie followed the book closely.

Most film adaptations take wild liberties with the story.

The book is always better than the movie.

Well, almost always.

This movie was really good.

But when it was over, I felt mildly disturbed.

It’s not a happy-ever-after kind of story.

I had to watch a few episodes of Seinfeld to clear my brain out.

There’s nothing like a little Kramer to help you forget, well, everything.

The same actors also made The Sound and The Fury.

I’ll have to watch that, too.

But I’ll give it  a week or so.

There’s only so much Faulkner you can take at one time.

Liz Brenner

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Even you.

Especially you.

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Lifestyle

It’s Obnoxious – Don’t Use Your Speaker In Public!

Mostly True Memoirs

Don't use the speaker in public!

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Don’t Use Your Speaker In Public!

At the pharmacy today, the woman behind me entered the store in the middle of a very loud conversation on speaker mode with her daughter.

How did I know it was her daughter?

She called the woman Mom.

They spoke at length about a trip to Costco.

And dropping the kids off at swimming lessons.

And then picking them up.

They were as loud as they were inane.

Why did the woman stay on speakerphone?

Why didn’t she wait outside until she was done?

Did the daughter know that everyone could hear her?

The guy who was helping me was so distracted that he kept making mistakes.

Which only prolonged the agony.

It wasn’t his fault.

He’s usually very efficient.

If I were a bold and nervy sort of person, I would have joined the conversation.

Or at the very least, I would have done something distracting.

Or rude.

But I am neither bold nor nervy.

I simply endured.

And promised myself I will NEVER use the speaker in public.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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It Was Worth It – A Great Book Is Always Worth It!

Mostly True Memoirs

It was totally worth it!

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It Was Totally Worth It!

It was worth it.

I just read Remarkably Bright Creatures for a book club.

You can’t find it for love or money in any library.

There’s a 12-week wait on Overdrive.

I was tempted to just skip the read this month.

But then I saw it in a bookstore so I picked it up.

And boy, am I glad I did.

I loved this story.

I have just spent the entire morning watching Giant Pacific Octopus clips on YouTube.

No it wasn’t a waste of time.

It was enriching.

And educational.

But now I have a morning’s worth of work to catch up on.

It was totally worth it.

A great book is always worth it.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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Lifestyle

Why The Blackberries Need To Be Trimmed

Mostly True Memoirs

The blackberries need to be trimmed

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Blackberries!

I was told, years ago, that I would regret planting blackberries.

Well, I don’t actually regret it.

Yet.

But holy smokes I’ve got a lot of fruit.

I still have frozen berries from last summer.

And lots of jars of jam.

And now there’s a new harvest.

This year I’m going to make juice.

From the juice I can make shaved ice.

Or pancake syrup.

Or margaritas.

And I’m going to try my hand at ice cream.

I’ll still freeze some whole berries because they are good in smoothies and pies.

After this harvest, I’m going to trim the vines down to a much smaller version of what I’ve got.

Otherwise, next summer I might literally drown in blackberries.

Liz Brenner

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Even you.

Especially you.

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Lifestyle

Mosquitoes Love Me!

Mostly True Memoirs

Mosquitoes love me

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Stupid Mosquitoes!

I did some yard work.

I remembered the sunscreen.

But I forgot the bug spray.

If my life’s ambition had been to nourish and provide for the entire population of mosquitoes in North Texas, I would be content right now.

However, that has never been my life’s ambition.

Not even close.

Instead of being satisfied, I am itchy.

And scratchy.

And covered in sticky green aloe vera gel.

I’m horrified to realize that I most certainly have contributed to the health and wellbeing of the burgeoning summer bug population.

Stupid mosquitoes.

Liz Brenner

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Especially you.

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Family

A Boy Mom Is Required To Say Some Weird Stuff

Mostly True Memoirs

A boy mom is required to say some weird stuff

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I’m A Boy Mom

I pan fried a couple of steaks.

They turned out very tasty.

But the kitchen filled with smoke.

I had to open up the back door to clear the air.

The open door let in about a billion flies.

Luckily, the Grown Son is quite handy with a fly swatter.

It was actually kind of impressive.

All I ever do is scatter the flies around.

I never actually smash one.

The Grown Son proudly deposited each dead bug onto a napkin so that he could keep count.

It was gross, but it was effective, so I couldn’t complain.

I made him throw the mess in the garbage.

He can take a picture if he wants a memento.

“We’re not keeping the dead flies,” I informed him.

After all these years of being a boy mom, this isn’t even close to the weirdest thing I’ve ever said.

Liz Brenner

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Lifestyle

It Was Chaotic – How To Have A Crazy Weekend!

Mostly True Memoirs

How to have a chaotic weekend

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It Was Chaotic!

It was a crazy weekend.

One kid moved out.

And one kid moved in.

And the moving-out kid’s roommate came in from out of state.

All on the same weekend.

It was chaotic.

Absolutely chaotic.

My not-quite-healed postop knee got me out of the heavy work.

I scoured sinks and washed floors while the guys hauled heavy stuff and lost their s**t on each other.

But it all got done.

Thanks to Bob who lost his s**t louder than everyone else.

At the end of the day, I tried to relax in the back yard with a glass of wine.

And wouldn’t you know, a fly dove right in and drowned.

Ewww.

Yup, that’s what kind of weekend I had.

All I need to do now is get the moving-in kid organized.

And get the house back in order.

And maybe, finally, enjoy a fly-free glass of wine.

Liz Brenner

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Especially you.

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Lifestyle

Humblebragging – I Definitely Deserve It This Time!

Mostly True Memoirs

Humblebragging - I definitely deserve it this time!

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Humblebragging!

Yeah, I’m humblebragging, but I won!

OK, I know, this is just a first-world problem.

But it’s more than that.

It’s a first-world, freakishly-small-woman problem.

The shopping carts at Winco are very deep.

Very, very deep.

They are so deep that sometimes I lose small items in the bottom of the cart.

I have to dive in head-first to get the stuff out.

At this store, you have to bag your own groceries.

If I’m wasting time fishing things out of the bottom of the cart, it’s going to slow down my bagging at the other end.

The people behind me get angry.

At least, I feel like they’re getting angry.

Today there was only one cashier.

And a very long line.

But I had loaded my items strategically into the cart so that I didn’t lose anything at the bottom.

Whew – I deserve some humblebragging this once!

Freakishly-Small-Woman 1, Winco Shopping Cart 0.

Liz Brenner

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Especially you.

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