Tag: memoir

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Lifestyle

It Was Chaotic – How To Have A Crazy Weekend!

It was chaotic!

Mostly True Memoirs

How to have a chaotic weekend

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It Was Chaotic!

It was a crazy weekend.

One kid moved out.

And one kid moved in.

And the moving-out kid’s roommate came in from out of state.

All on the same weekend.

It was chaotic.

Absolutely chaotic.

My not-quite-healed postop knee got me out of the heavy work.

I scoured sinks and washed floors while the guys hauled heavy stuff and lost their s**t on each other.

But it all got done.

Thanks to Bob who lost his s**t louder than everyone else.

At the end of the day, I tried to relax in the back yard with a glass of wine.

And wouldn’t you know, a fly dove right in and drowned.

Ewww.

Yup, that’s what kind of weekend I had.

All I need to do now is get the moving-in kid organized.

And get the house back in order.

And maybe, finally, enjoy a fly-free glass of wine.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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Lifestyle

Humblebragging – I Definitely Deserve It This Time!

I won!

Mostly True Memoirs

Humblebragging - I definitely deserve it this time!

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Humblebragging!

Yeah, I’m humblebragging, but I won!

OK, I know, this is just a first-world problem.

But it’s more than that.

It’s a first-world, freakishly-small-woman problem.

The shopping carts at Winco are very deep.

Very, very deep.

They are so deep that sometimes I lose small items in the bottom of the cart.

I have to dive in head-first to get the stuff out.

At this store, you have to bag your own groceries.

If I’m wasting time fishing things out of the bottom of the cart, it’s going to slow down my bagging at the other end.

The people behind me get angry.

At least, I feel like they’re getting angry.

Today there was only one cashier.

And a very long line.

But I had loaded my items strategically into the cart so that I didn’t lose anything at the bottom.

Whew – I deserve some humblebragging this once!

Freakishly-Small-Woman 1, Winco Shopping Cart 0.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

About Me

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Dog

Why It’s Important To Teach Your Dog To Heel

Why it's important to teach your dog to heel

Mostly True Memoirs

Heel!

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Teach Your Dog To Heel

Heel!

I’ve got Blue in a dog training class.

She’s very smart, and she’s very eager to please.

At our last session, we worked on “heel.”

One lady took her dog and left class.

She thought that this lesson was boring.

Seriously?

It’s the most fundamental thing to teach.

Once the dog learns to heel, all the other commands fall into place.

Plus, heeling makes walks more fun because the dog doesn’t pull.

It’s a huge loss if she doesn’t learn this thing.

During our dog class, a rabbit wandered by.

It was either a very stupid rabbit or a very brave rabbit.

All the dogs went nuts.

The rabbit, either very stupid or very brave, lived, thanks to the very skilled dog trainer.

It was a teachable moment.

Heel!

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

About Me

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Lifestyle

This Time, The Jokes Just Wrote Themselves

This time, the jokes just wrote themselves

Mostly True Memoirs

The jokes just wrote themselves

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The Jokes Just Wrote Themselves

We used the Shop Vac to clean up a mess.

But then something got lodged in the hose.

We used a broomstick to poke the mess out.

And broke the end of the broomstick.

We had to do an emergency surgery.

It was not as simple as it appeared to be.

The blockage was really lodged in there.

Bob, the Shop-Vac Surgeon, did not appreciate my colonoscopy humor.

At least not in the midst of the delicate procedure.

Once the patient was successfully cleaned out, he laughed.

As he should.

I mean, come on, this time the jokes just wrote themselves.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

About Me

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Lifestyle

I Have One Brown Thumb and One Green Thumb

One brown thumb and one green thumb

Mostly True Memoirs

One brown thumb and one green thumb

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One Brown Thumb

I have one brown thumb and one green thumb.

On the one hand, the trees are doing great.

Several years ago, I planted a row of Chaste trees with the intention of creating shade from the brutally hot sunrises in the summertime.

These are very fast-growing trees, and this summer it seems like we will finally have shade from our beautiful and lush trees.

I planted several crepe myrtles around the property.

They are growing beautifully.

One of them appeared to have suffered from the ice storms we had in the winter, but with some TLC, it is growing and healthy.

We have a mature crepe myrtle that had some terrible disease and we thought we lost the tree, but it, too, is coming back strong.

Our oak in the front yard suffered some damage in the Snowpocalypse of 2022, but it, too, is bouncing back to good health.

I planted a row of blackberry bushes and they are thriving and producing tons of fruit.

I put in  some purple hyacinth bean vines to climb up a trellis, and they are growing like crazy.

On the other hand, my vegetable garden is not doing well.

All of the plants look kind of scrawny and pathetic.

Except for the pumpkins.

The pumpkins have taken over the garden.

We will have a billion jack-o-lanterns for Halloween.

But very scant tomatoes, peppers and herbs.

One brown thumb and one green thumb.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

About Me

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Lifestyle

Why AI Is Nothing More Than A Simple Tool

AI is nothing more than a simple tool

Mostly True Memoirs

AI is nothing more than a simple tool

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Nothing More Than a Simple Tool

The Grown Son got into an argument with ChatGPT.

Being a smarta$$, he wanted to see how far he could take the dispute.

ChatGPT ended the conversation with a link to  a therapist.

On the one hand, that is hilarious.

And on the other hand, it’s a little disturbing that a difference of opinion implies the need for therapy.

Who is making this referral?

Where did the link come from?

A paid advertisement?

Does this mean that the AI text is influenced by merchants?

Yeah, I stand by my previous position.

AI is a tool, but nothing more.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

About Me

LEARN TO WRITE YOUR OWN FICTION!

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Lifestyle

Reading Fiction Is Such An Amazing Experience

Reading fiction is such an amazing experience

Mostly True Memoirs

Reading fiction is such an amazing experience

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Reading Fiction

“I don’t read fiction,” a friend said recently.

“Fiction is a waste of time.”

Oh, my heart!

Reading fiction is NOT a waste of time.

Without fiction, Scout Finch couldn’t have said “Hey, Boo.”

Ignatius J. Reilly wouldn’t have said, “When my brain begins to reel from my literary labors, I make an occasional cheese dip.”

And we would never have met Rebecca Davitch, who discovered she’d turned into the wrong person.

We wouldn’t have seen Francie Nolan’s tree grow in Brooklyn.

And we would never have another beautiful day at the Red Pony Bar and continual soiree.

Without fiction, we wouldn’t have Poe’s raven, Charlotte’s web, or Lennie’s rabbits.

Or Anna Walsh’s feathery strokers.

And we absolutely would have never heard Walt Kowalski say, “Get off my lawn.”

I know, Walt Kowalski comes from a movie and not a book.

But he’s one of my all-time favorite fictional characters.

Reading fiction is NOT a waste of time.

To paraphrase Ove Lindahl, “I’m right. Is that so unreasonable?”

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

About Me

LEARN TO WRITE YOUR OWN FICTION!

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Lifestyle

AI Is An Amazing Tool, But It Has Its Limits

An amazing tool

Mostly True Memoirs

An amazing tool

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An Amazing Tool!

AI is an amazing tool.

But I’m not worried about it taking over for writers.

Not one bit.

Today I tried to get AI to create some insults for me.

I was going to work them into a humorous piece.

Its response was to refuse my request because it would be inappropriate and unethical to generate that kind of language.

And then it lectured me about being kind to others.

To test the system, I asked for some Shakespearean insults.

It gave me a few, but there was still a warning at the end about being kind to others.

The thing is, if you’re a writer, you have to write about all kinds of topics.

You can’t write a murder mystery without a murder.

You can’t write a romance without, *ahem*, romance.

You can’t write a conflict without conflict.

The joke among writers is that if one of us dies suddenly, the others MUST come in and delete the search history.

Writers have to research some weird stuff.

If AI refuses to generate certain perspectives, then it is very limited in what it can generate.

On the other hand, what if it did produce insults?

They might be too outrageous or offensive for me to use.

I would have to be so specific in my request to find just the right tone that I might as well write the insult myself.

I think AI is an amazing tool.

But it has its limits.

We still need writers.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

About Me

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Lifestyle

This Is Why I Need To Pay Attention

pay attention

Mostly True Memoirs

Pay attention

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Pay Attention!

I need to pay attention.

It was entirely my fault.

The Grown Son has a right to be mad.

We live on a triangle-shaped lot.

Which means we have a big back yard.

And absolutely no parking in front.

Every night we have to tetris the cars into the driveway.

My car is the smallest, so it’s always blocked.

Someone has to move their car so I can get out.

Yesterday morning, I wanted to go to the gym.

But I didn’t want to wake up the Grown Son too early.

I waited until 9:00.

He grumbled and complained, but he got up to move his car.

Only to discover that it wasn’t his car blocking mine.

It was his brother’s car.

He was furious that I had woken him up for no reason.

I was furious because the other son had been awake for hours, and I could have been to the gym and back by this time.

If only I had been paying attention.

Now I’m doing the Grown Son’s laundry.

To atone for my sin of waking him up too early on a Sunday morning.

I guess that’s fair.

Next time I’ll pay attention.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

About Me

You’ve done something like this, haven’t you? I can’t be the only one!

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Lifestyle

That Sucks! How I Saved Some Money With A Simple Repair

That sucks

Mostly True Memoirs

That sucks

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That Sucks!

That sucks.

It’s what you say when something is bad or unpleasant.

Unless, of course, you’re talking about your vacuum.

In which case, “It doesn’t suck” means that it’s bad.

The thought of buying a new vacuum sucks.

Most of my house has hard floors.

I don’t want to pour out several hundred dollars for an appliance that doesn’t get a whole lot of use.

But still, that very small carpeted space in the house does need a vacuum.

That sucks.

But then I got the brilliant idea to watch a YouTube video.

It showed me how to take the vacuum apart, find the problem, fix it, and put the whole thing back together.

Now it sucks.

Yay!

My only advice to you is to do this outdoors.

I did it in my office and now every single surface is covered with vacuum schmutz.

I am also covered in vacuum schmutz.

I probably should have done this before my shower, not after.

At any rate, my vacuum sucks.

And that doesn’t suck.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

About Me

READ MORE STORIES HERE!

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