Categories
Lifestyle

My Blackberries Are Ripe!

My blackberries are ripe!

My Blackberries Are Ripe! However, Dignity Seems To Be In Short Supply.

My blackberries are ripe!

Well, the first lot is ready.

There will be a new batch ripening every day for a couple of weeks.

I brought a bucket outside and started picking.

I’m so excited.

Bob can make me blackberry smoothies when I have my knee surgery.

I was happily filling my bucket when it happened.

A snake.

I stepped on a snake.

I had read that copperheads like blackberry bushes.

And sure enough, there it was.

I did the only thing I could think of in the moment.

I screamed at the top of my lungs.

You probably heard me all the way across the country.

And then…

And then I realized.

It wasn’t a snake.

It was Blue’s rope toy.

Well that was a waste of a good hair-raising scream.

Karma must have been lurking over my shoulder.

A raised nail head on the fence ripped a hole in the seat of my pants.

I guess that’s what I get for screeching so loud over a doggy toy.

I sacrificed my pants.

And my dignity.

But I’ve got fresh blackberries so it’s worth it.

Categories
Lifestyle

A Terrible, Sticky Mess

A terrible, sticky mess

A TERRIBLE, STICKY MESS

I made blackberry jam earlier this summer.

There are a zillion little plastic jars in the freezer.

They are getting in the way.

I need to put them all in a box to keep them organized.

I probably should have done that yesterday.

A jar of jam burst in the freezer.

It was blocking the door from shutting properly.

And it got squished.

Yeah, that was a terrible, sticky mess.

The freezer needed to be cleaned anyway.

And now the jam jars are secured in a box.

Categories
Work

A Woman Named Humble

A woman named Humble

A WOMAN NAMED HUMBLE

Many of my English students adopt English names.

It’s not just for my class, it is for their entire business and professional identity.

In one particular corner of the world, the entire population seems to have perused the same outdated baby-naming book.

I have a lot of 30-year-old Herberts and Mildreds as students.

Some of them, however, choose random words for their names.

Today I had a woman named Humble in my class.

She probably saw a list of other virtue names such as Faith or Grace or Hope and assumed that Humble would work too.

I didn’t have the heart to tell her that a humble person would never call herself humble.

Only a braggart would do that.

If she had asked for my opinion before she chose her name, I would have told her.

At this point, it’s none of my business.

I carried on with the class.

But I cringed whenever I said her name.