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Dog

Happy National Dog Day To The Best Dog Ever!

Mostly True Memoirs

Happy National Dog Day!

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National Dog Day

Happy National Dog Day!

It’s a perfect day to celebrate Blue.

She is the happiest dog ever.

It doesn’t matter what’s happening – she’s happy.

Dinner?   Happy.

Belly rub?

Happy.

Car ride?

Happy.

Walk?

Happy.

Fetch?

Happy.

Sprinklers?

Happy.

She is the best dog ever.

Except, of course, for Wrigley.

She was the best dog ever.

As was Schatzi.

And Dave.

They were all the best dogs ever.

Which makes no sense.

Unless you’ve had dogs.

IYKYK.

Happy National Dog Day!

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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Lifestyle

What Is The Word For Those Plastic Ties?

Mostly True Memoirs

plastic ties

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Those Plastic Ties

I’m going to lose sleep over those plastic ties.  

I bought some socks today.  

They were on sale at the grocery store.  

Blue is a sock thief so I need to keep replenishing my supply.  

When I got home and opened up the package, I was shocked.  

There were a zillion plastic ties, randomly inserted between different socks.

Curious, I Googled what is the name of those things.  

No one seems to know.  

Reddit didn’t know, ChatGPT didn’t know, Google didn’t know.  

I kept getting “sock hangers” as the answer.  

But these aren’t sock hangers.  

I’m talking about the plastic string with perpendicular plastic tabs.

You can’t get them off without scissors, otherwise you’ll tear the socks.

But they’re in there so tight that you might cut the socks with the scissors.

This store really, really, really didn’t want anyone to steal those socks.

There were lots and lots and lots of these annoying plastic strings to cut.

Maybe Nordstrom should start using these security thingies to stop the smash and grabs.

I now have a few pairs of matching socks that, with any luck, will last me a couple of days before Blue gets ahold of them.

If anyone knows the name of those plastic security thingies, please let me know.

I’m going to lose sleep wondering about it.

Liz Brenner

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Even you.

Especially you.

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Dog

Why I Need To Pay Attention To My Own Advice

Mostly True Memoirs

Why I need to pay attention to my own advice

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Pay Attention!

It was all my fault.

I knew it could happen.

In fact, I’ve warned my family about this very thing.

But I didn’t pay attention.

And it happened.

Blue got carsick.

All over my back seat.

When the windows are open, she does just fine.

I forgot to open the windows.

It wasn’t my intention to spend a sweltering hot afternoon detailing my car.

But that’s what I did.

The car was dirty and needed cleaning anyway.

So it wasn’t a total loss.

But to add insult to injury, I got an ant bite.

Actually, I got a cluster of five ant bites.

And now I’ve got a three-inch-wide welt going all the way around  my ankle.

Stupid ants.

Next time I’ll pay attention.

I’ll open the windows for Blue.

Liz Brenner

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Even you.

Especially you.

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Dog

Trust Issues – It’s Why Blue Dawg Stayed On The Leash

Mostly True Memoirs

Trust issues - it's why Blue Dawg stayed on the leash

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Trust Issues

I have trust issues.

We had friends over to BBQ.

I kept Blue on a leash connected to my belt loop with a D-ring.

She is a very naughty girl.

I don’t trust her.

Not for one second.

Not while steak is within reach.

Since we’ve resumed training, she’s become quite well behaved.

On the leash, she heeled and sat and didn’t bark at all.

She tried to convince me that since she was such a good girl, I could take the leash off.

Ha!

No way.

There was food everywhere.

There were people everywhere.

There were dishes everywhere.

Nope.

Blue has a reputation for eating anything she can get her hands on.

Or snout.

Whatever.

She has no morals and no regrets.

And I have trust issues.

The leash stayed on.

Liz Brenner

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Even you.

Especially you.

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Dog

Why It’s Important To Teach Your Dog To Heel

Mostly True Memoirs

Heel!

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Teach Your Dog To Heel

Heel!

I’ve got Blue in a dog training class.

She’s very smart, and she’s very eager to please.

At our last session, we worked on “heel.”

One lady took her dog and left class.

She thought that this lesson was boring.

Seriously?

It’s the most fundamental thing to teach.

Once the dog learns to heel, all the other commands fall into place.

Plus, heeling makes walks more fun because the dog doesn’t pull.

It’s a huge loss if she doesn’t learn this thing.

During our dog class, a rabbit wandered by.

It was either a very stupid rabbit or a very brave rabbit.

All the dogs went nuts.

The rabbit, either very stupid or very brave, lived, thanks to the very skilled dog trainer.

It was a teachable moment.

Heel!

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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Dog

Karma’s a B**ch! I Learned It The Hard Way Today.

Mostly True Memoirs

karma's a b**ch

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Karma’s A B**ch!

Karma’s a b**ch.

I probably shouldn’t have laughed at the Grown Son.

The payback was brutal.

This time, Blue got sick all over my office.

By the time I found the mess this morning, the stench was unbearable.

It must have been brewing all night.

Blue, meanwhile, was happy as a lark.

No regrets.

We skipped her obedience class today.

I didn’t want her getting sick in my car.

Or passing her germs on to other dogs.

Are my priorities wrong?

Should I have put the other dogs’ health first, before the car?

She’s gotten carsick before, and believe me, I don’t want a repeat of that.

At any rate, she’s staying home.

My office has been cleaned and sanitized.

The windows are open, the fans are on.

The Grown Son thinks this whole episode is hilarious.

Karma’s such a b**ch.

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Lifestyle

That Spongebob Song About The Best Day Ever

Mostly True Memoirs

That Spongebob song

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That Spongebob Song

It’s the best day ever!

Spongebob sang it, so it’s gotta be true.

Today is National Puppy Day.

What could be better than National Puppy Day?

Today is also National Tamale Day.

And it’s also National Chip and Dip Day.

All these wonderful things on the same day?

It doesn’t get much better than this.

It’s also National Near Miss Day.

Seriously?

Come on – don’t rain on my puppy, tamale, and chip and dip parade.

I’ve got that annoying Spongebob song going through my head now.

Maybe that song is my near miss.

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Dog

It Was Awful, But My Happy Dog Has No Regrets

Mostly True Memoirs

It was awful, but my happy dog has no regrets

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No Regrets

The ice is starting to melt outside.

We let Blue out for her morning romp.

She returned inside, covered in mud.

Absolutely covered, from head to toe.

It was awful.

She’s in bad need of a grooming, but I put it off so she would have a thick, warm coat for the cold weather.

Now she has a thick, muddy, matted coat.

The weather is still really cold, so we couldn’t hose her off outside.

We had to put her in the bathtub.

It was awful.

Mud was everywhere.

It was like a mud blender went off, without the lid.

Blue had a blast.

She loved the warm water.

She basked in all of the attention.

She has absolutely no regrets.

Not a care in the world.

She’d do it again in a heartbeat, if we let her.

We won’t let her.

She’s going to the groomer next week.

After we dry out.

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Dog

Why My Dog Blue Is The Best Dog Ever

Mostly True Memoirs

The best dog ever

She’s The Best Dog Ever

She’s the best dog ever.

My sweet Blue Dawg.

She loves a cuddle.

But only if she’s actively receiving some pats.

Once the pats stop, she’s outta there.

She just can’t seem to settle down quietly and snuggle.

In her previous life before we rescued her, somebody must have really scared her.

She gets very anxious and agitated and bolts away as quickly as possible.

I always let her go because I don’t want to stress her out.

But this weekend…

Well, this weekend she took a nap on my feet.

I was so excited.

I wanted to jump up and yell, “Look, look, look, she’s doing it!”

But I couldn’t do that because it would have spoiled the moment.

I let her take her nap and wake up and realize that she was still safe.

We’re making progress.

Soon, Blue is going to realize that a good book and a cozy snuggle on a long winter night is amazing.

Good girl, Blue, you’re the best dog ever.

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Dog

Lessons From A Dog – It’s Not a Bad Way to Start The Day

Mostly True Memoirs

Lessons from a dog

Lessons From A Dog

Blue has come to expect a fervent and slobbery good morning kiss.

Every single day.

From each and every member of the household.

Enthusiastic leaping, wagging, and licking is a requirement.

From the dog, not necessarily from the humans.

She is wildly excited to greet each person as they awaken.

The family, on the other hand, is grumpy and delirious and hasn’t had any coffee yet.

Blue doesn’t care.

She demands a wholehearted, full-contact, good-morning wrassle.

And she always gets it.

To tell the truth, it’s not a bad way to start the day.

Unbridled happiness is her go-to mood.

We could learn some serious life lessons from a dog.

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