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I Learned a New Expression in Spanish

A New Expression in Spanish

I learned a new expression in Spanish today in the line at the grocery store.

The old guy in front of me had on a shirt with a Spanish phrase.

Underneath, it said, “you are my friend.”

The woman behind me said, “That’s not what that means.”

“You’re right,” I said, “That doesn’t mean ‘friend’.”

“I think it means ‘jerk’.”

“Let’s Google it.”

The old guy protested his innocence.

He swore he didn’t know what it meant.

But he was cracking up.

And he spoke with a Spanish accent.

His sincerity was questionable.

By this time the clerk was interested.

So were the rest of the folks in line.

It turns out that the phrase does not mean “you are my friend.”

Not even close.

But we all had a good laugh.

And now I learned a new expression in Spanish.

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Work

Another Awkward English Class

Another Awkward English Class

Today I had another awkward English class.

One student was an IT engineer.

He was the only male in attendance with several female students.

He convinced the ladies that their husbands were running around, and he could help them spy on their guys with their iPhones.

For a small fee.

One woman was very interested.

I tried to steer the conversation away from this very awkward topic.

But my students were determined.

They spoke to each other in Vietnamese.

I’m sure they were exchanging stalking information.

I do not want to know how this story ends.

I’m just here to teach English.

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Work

Pronunciation Mistake

Pronunciation Mistake

So many ESL teachers complain that their students continue to make the same pronunciation mistake over and over.

They mock their students in the teacher chat rooms.

Is it the student’s fault?

NO!

If errors are being made, it’s the teacher’s responsibility to teach the concept.

One very common pronunciation mistake is to mix up the hard /g/ and the soft /g/ in words like colleague and college.

Teachers, don’t get annoyed.

Impatience doesn’t teach your students anything.

Explain the rule about how to pronounce /g/.

Expect mistakes.

It’s hard to learn a new language.

With practice, they’ll get it right.

If you want your students to succeed, give them the tools to succeed.

Impatience is not an effective teaching tool.

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Work

I Love Stupid Humor

Stupid Humor

I love stupid humor.

My student used the term “expression face” when she meant to use “facial expression.”

I immediately thought of the Boaty McBoatface PR fiasco.

I considered discussing this with her.

But I decided against it.

How do you explain that sometimes stupid is stupid.

And sometimes stupid is funny.

It’s purely subjective.

I think that the Boaty McBoatface story was hilarious.

But I’ll bet there were folks at the Natural Environment Research Council who were not so amused.

Or maybe they were.

Who knows?

There are no rules when it comes to stupid humor.

And if there are no rules, there is no logical way to explain it.

I skipped the whole Boaty McBoatface thing and just continued the lesson.

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Work

A Bad Idea for a Lesson Plan

A Bad Idea

It was a bad idea for a lesson plan.

Today’s idioms were “Don’t quit your day job,” and “When pigs fly.”

Really?

Not only did I have to teach what these expressions mean, I had to warn my students not to say these things because they are insults.

In other words, it was a wasted class session.

These expressions are very nuanced.

Nuance is an advanced concept.

Today’s students were beginners.

I sure hope they don’t come back to class tomorrow with a black eye.

Sarcasm is a bad idea for a lesson plan. 

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Work

That Was Rude

That Was Rude

Sometimes my English students say things that are horribly rude.

Rude by American standards.

Perhaps it’s OK from their own perspective…

I don’t argue values, but I sometimes mention the American point of view.

“In the US, it is not polite to call somebody fat.”

or

“In the US, it is impolite to ask someone how much money they make.”

Today we were speaking about world cuisines.

One man said that he does not like hot, spicy food.

A woman mocked him, “But you’re a MAN!”

I quickly changed the subject.

What a loaded topic.

I don’t have the words to address this issue.

And I’m fluent.

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Work

Pi Day Celebration

Pi Day

It’s Pi Day.

It’s a great day for a homophone lesson for my ESL students.

I have a longstanding tradition of making whoopie pies on March 14.

I hit the kitchen to start baking.

Only to realize that I didn’t have any marshmallow cream.

This is one of the pitfalls of an empty nest.

No marshmallow cream.

No problem.

I can make vanilla cream instead.

Only to realize that I didn’t have any powdered sugar.

Another pitfall of the empty nest.

But again, no problem.

I don’t need no stinkin’ powered sugar.

I can make my own.

I made a very, very small batch this time.

A regular recipe makes a ton of huge whoopie pies.

What are the two of us going to do with that much food?

We need a bunch of teenage athletes and all of their teammates to tackle that many goodies.

I told my ESL classes that Americans love play-on-word humor.

They now understand why it is funny to eat pie on Pi Day.

They now know why it is funny to celebrate Pi Day on March 14.

I explained that it’s not a real holiday, it’s just an excuse to eat pie.

Happy Pi Day.

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Work

Teaching English Conversation

Teaching English Conversation

I use a lot of goofy stories when I am teaching English conversation.

I use the same stories that I write in my blog.

I always try to incorporate some frank discussion into each session.

If I can work some humor in as well, that’s even better.

I don’t use a structured format or required vocabulary words in this segment.

I want a genuine conversation that friends might have.

This is a real exercise in fluency.

I might ask them what kind of movies they like to watch.

But I don’t ask it interview style, where, one at a time, they say, “I like action movies,” or “I like romantic movies.”

That’s boring.

I might open the discussion by telling my students that I don’t like horror movies. They scare me, and they give me nightmares. I will ask them if horror movies scare them too. There are no right or wrong answers. It’s simply a discussion about our opinions and experiences with this topic. That’s the start of a REAL conversation.

I encourage all kinds of absurd themes.

Accidentally oversleeping.

When your child loses their shoes.

Stepping on a Lego.

The neighbor’s noisy dog.

My students tell me, as they progress in their language studies, that they are becoming competent in handling their daily business affairs in English.

But they have trouble making friends.

This is why I try to incorporate a “friendly” conversation segment into each class.

Spilling your drink.

Foods you don’t care for.

When bad traffic makes you late.

Keeping your feet warm on a cold day.

I don’t correct them during this segment.

The point is to connect.

We do need structure in language learning.

We have to study reading, writing, spelling, punctuation, grammar, vocabulary and pronunciation.

It’s the foundation of the language.

But at some point, we have to let go of the rules in order to actually connect with other people.

I think that connection is a forgotten element in language education.

This is why so many people who study a foreign language can’t actually speak it.

For my very beginning students who might find this conversation segment to be overwhelming, I have a few standard questions that always gets them talking.

One topic is for them to tell us about their family members.

One man was very nervous, once, struggling to find the right words.

He told me, with much hesitation, that he has three small sons.

I told him that I have two sons, so I know that his house must be very noisy.

He burst out laughing, agreed with me, and we have been fast friends ever since.

We need to incorporate more connection into our language curriculum.

Connection is the bridge between language foundation and language fluency.

Storytelling is a fabulous method of teaching English Conversation.

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Work

Teaching Pronunciation

Teaching Pronunciation

Rant time, about teaching pronunciation.

Some of my ESL students have been taught pronunciation poorly.

It’s a lot of work to correct the resultant problems.

It’s better to teach it correctly from the start.

When teaching pronunciation, you have to isolate the target sound.

In other words, this sound must occur only once in the word.

And it has to occur in the stressed syllable.

The student will naturally stress the target sound.

When the sound is in an unstressed syllable, the word will be pronounced incorrectly.

For example, if you are teaching the /l/ sound, do NOT use the word “apple.”

Why?

The student, emphasizing the /l/ target sound, will pronounce the word a-PULL.

The /l/ sound was said correctly, but the proper stress of the word has been confused.

It started as a pronunciation lesson, but now it’s a stress lesson.

The student is confused.

Also, you don’t want the sound to occur twice.

If you use the word “lovely” to teach the /l/ sound, the student will say, “LOVE-LEE.”

They will emphasize the first syllable because that is where the word is properly stressed, but they will also emphasize the second syllable because it has another /l/ which is the target sound.

In this scenario, you are teaching your students to speak with a robot accent.

This is a very poor technique, and an awful lot of work to correct.

Create your pronunciation lessons with only one variable.

Teach pronunciation on the accented syllable of the word.

OK, I’m done ranting.

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Lifestyle Work

Allergy Medication

Allergy Medication

When I take my allergy medication, I don’t sleep well.

When I don’t take my allergy medication, I can’t breathe.

Uggg.

Allergies.

Breathing…sleeping…

It’s a tough choice.

I haven’t been taking the medication lately.

I really do need to sleep.

But this morning my nose wouldn’t stop running.

I teach English on line.

I need my voice to be clear.

I need to be able to teach pronunciation properly.

Today we studied the /zh/ sound.

As in treasure, casual, vision…

You can’t pronounce /zh/ properly when you are congested.

I don’t want my students to learn English with a cold accent.

I took an allergy pill.

I may regret it later.

But the lesson went well, so there’s that.