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That Darn Dog – Why I’m More Impressed Than Angry

Mostly True Memoirs

That Darn Dog

That Darn Dog!

That darn dog.

I made a very spicy stir fry for dinner.

And a batch of coconut macaroons.

Before dinner was ready, I got a call from the Grown Son.

He had locked his keys in the car.

Could I bring him the spare?

I set up the doggy barriers to the kitchen and left for a quick, 20-minute rescue mission.

When I got back home, I saw that the barriers were still intact.

“Whew,” I thought, “it’s all good.”

But then I took a second look.

Apparently that darn dog very gracefully scaled the doggy barriers without knocking anything down.

Very neatly, without dropping the pan, she ate the entire batch of very spicy stir fry.

And without dropping the baking sheet, she ate 20 coconut macaroons.

Then she very skillfully snuck back out of the crime scene, leaving the doggy barriers intact.

I was appalled, angry, and impressed all at the same time.

Mostly impressed.

I couldn’t have been so graceful if I had tried to do that.

We were in for a long night.

Sure enough, at 2:00 AM, she wanted to go out.

Once outside, she immediately struck up a hunting pose.

There was a rabbit.

Both of them stood frozen, staring each other down.

Having nothing else to do at that ungodly hour, I watched the action.

Or inaction.

“How long are they going to stare at each other?” I grumbled, realizing that I was equally involved in the staring match.

Eventually the rabbit hopped off.

Blue, with her belly still distended from the very spicy stir fry and 20 coconut macaroons, didn’t even bother to give chase.

All she could manage was to twitch her nose.

She woke me up again at 5:30.

It was obnoxious, but at least she wasn’t sick in the house.

I know, I know, I know, I could have put the dinner in the microwave for safekeeping while I was gone.

I could have put the cookies on top of the fridge.

I could have brought Blue with me.

Coulda, woulda, shoulda.

I thought the doggy barriers were enough.

I can’t wait for my knee to get better so we can get her back to her obedience class.

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