Categories
Lifestyle

Seriously? A New Breed of Giant Mutant Spiders?

Spiders? Eww.

Spiders?

Eww.

I’ll have to move out of my house.

I found, in our garden shed, a large pile of unidentified poop.

It’s not mice.

Mice scat is the size of uncooked grains of rice.

It’s not rats.

Rat scat is the size of cooked grains of rice.

I have no idea what the creature was, or, more importantly, how it got in the shed.

All I know is that it’s bigger than a rat.

Much, much bigger.

My whole family thinks this is hilarious.

The grown sons are each blaming each other.

Bob claims to have made a Bigfoot sighting.

They are all telling wild tales of a new breed of giant mutant spiders.

For the record, none of them are as funny as they think they are.

In fact, they’re not funny at all.

What if it IS a new breed of giant mutant spiders?

This situation calls for Cri Man Squa, F and C, double time.

If you’re an Office fan, you’ll understand.

Although now that I think about it, it could have been Packer.

Should I be worried?

What’s worse?

A new breed of giant mutant spiders?

Or a special delivery from the Packman?

Eww.

It doesn’t matter.

I’m moving out.

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Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

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Especially you.

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Categories
Dog

“Absolutely I Do,” Were Probably The Terms Of Their Agreement

Absolutely I Do

“Absolutely I Do.”

“Absolutely I do,” probably sealed that deal.

We have a life-size Wrigley statue that we keep just outside the back door.

During a recent torrential, record-breaking downpour, there was a little bunny taking shelter under the Wrigley shrine.

Blue was itching to chase it.

I’ll bet Wrigley’s spirit was really annoyed to be caught in this situation.

She hated rabbits as much as Blue does.

Providing shelter to the enemy would be a horrifying prospect.

However, now that I think about it, maybe Wrigley would be happy.

Because of that whole ‘the enemy of my enemy is my friend’ thing.

The rabbits obviously hate Blue.

The dogs wouldn’t have liked each other either.

Wrigley was dignified and regal.

Blue is a doofus.

Or a Bloofus as we often call her.

Wrigley would have had no patience for Blue’s antics.

“Absolutely I do,” is what Wrigley probably said when the rabbit suggested the alliance.

Just like Pam said to Dwight on The Office.

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