family storytelling

His Ringtone Volume

His ringtone volume


My darling husband keeps his ringtone volume on high.

And his phone rings constantly.

All day long.

I swear, I have a heart attack every time that freaking alarm goes off.

I have asked him to turn it down.

After all, his phone is always with him.

It doesn’t need to be so loud.

He doesn’t even need sound at all.

It could stay on vibrate and he wouldn’t miss a call.

Sometimes I sneak in and turn it down.

He always turns it back up.

Today he got tired of my complaining.

He made an adjustment.

Now his phone quacks instead of rings.

Still at full volume.

Whatever happens next, I swear, it will be justified.

family memoir storytelling

I Swear It Was Justified

I swear it was justified


Bob got up very early this morning to do some yard work.

In the middle of his work, he asked me to make him something to eat.

Bob is perfectly capable of making his own food.

However, he was wet and muddy and too dirty to come into the house.

I made him a fried egg sandwich.

He stood at the back door the entire time, back-seat egging me.

I swear, I’ll tell the judge, I swear it was justified