Mostly True Memoirs

Spanish Lesson

I was in line at the grocery store.

The old guy in front of me had on a shirt with a Spanish phrase.

Underneath, it said, “you are my friend.”

The woman behind me said, “That’s not what that means.”

“You’re right,” I said, “That doesn’t mean ‘friend’.”

“I think it means ‘jerk’.”

“Let’s Google it.”

The old guy protested his innocence.

He swore he didn’t know what it meant.

But he was cracking up.

And he spoke with a Spanish accent.

His sincerity was questionable.

By this time the clerk was interested.

So were the rest of the folks in line.

It turns out that the phrase does not mean “you are my friend.”

Not even close.

But we all had a good laugh.

And now I know a new expression in Spanish.

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Mostly True Memoirs

Kayaking

We took the kayaks out to Lake Palo Pinto for their maiden voyage.

We rowed and rowed and rowed and rowed and rowed.

And then realized that we had to row back in.

It was windy and hot and uphill in every direction.

I lost my will to live somewhere around the Palo Pinto Dam.

It sank right to the bottom of the lake.

When we returned, we had a cold beer and a hot meal waiting for us.

So it was all good.

If anyone ever finds my will to live out there,

just reel it in,

and I’ll come and pick it up.

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Mostly True Memoirs

Happy Birthday, Brandon Morrow

 

 

Happy birthday Brandon Morrow!

Brandon Morrow is my hero.

He’s a world-class athlete.

AND he has type 1 diabetes.

Both of my sons have type 1 diabetes.

I’ve always looked to Brandon Morrow as a role model.

It’s not easy to have T1D.

Some days are really rough.

But if Brandon Morrow can succeed,

we can succeed too.

Happy birthday Brandon.

Go Cubs Go!

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Mostly True Memoirs

Awkward English Class

Today I had an IT engineer in my English class.

He was the only male in attendance with several female students.

He convinced the ladies that their husbands were running around,

and he could help them spy on their guys with their iPhones.

For a small fee.

One woman was very interested.

I tried to steer the conversation away from this very awkward topic.

But my students were determined.

They spoke to each other in Vietnamese.

I’m sure they were exchanging stalking information.

I do not want to know how this story ends.

I’m just here to teach English.

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Mostly True Memoirs

The Misfortunes of Others

I know, I know, I KNOW.

It’s wrong to laugh at the misfortunes of others…

Today I was at the pharmacy.

With two diabetic kids, I am always at the pharmacy.

I was making my purchase at the counter when an angry and belligerent young man rushed up.

He was yelling and pounding his fists and making a scene.

He was furious because the pharmacy was out of pregnancy tests.

The clerk and I looked at each other and started to laugh.

So we both looked away.

I’m sure that the pharmacy staff has been trained to never laugh at the customers.

I, however, have had no such training.

And now I really want to know why there has been a run on pregnancy tests.

If I get struck by lightening any time soon, it will be because I laughed.

Poor guy.

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Mostly True Memoirs

Road Trip

Road trip!

On our drive across the country,

we took an unscheduled detour to Taos, New Mexico.

What a beautiful little city!

Unfortunately, I developed a bloody nose that lasted two days.

It wasn’t a bad one.

Just a slow, annoying drip.

I’m certain it was caused by the altitude.

Bob suggested that maybe it was the attitude.

Ha!

My traveling companion thinks he’s a comedian.

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