Mostly True Memoirs
A Bruised Toenail
When my boys were little, they were terrified of the Tooth Fairy.
They didn’t want some crazy-a$$ fairy getting all into their business while they slept.
They decided to leave their teeth under my pillow instead of their own.
I didn’t want some crazy-a$$ fairy getting all into my business either.
However, this idea did present some simple logistics for the whole tooth-fairy thing.
The teeth went under my pillow.
Fast forward to today.
Bob recently injured his big toe.
The nail became horribly discolored.
Today the bruised toenail popped off of his foot in one large piece.
A callus developed underneath the nail, so it wasn’t really gross at all.
The horrible part was the actual toenail.
Bob proudly displayed his disgusting souvenir to the family.
The Grown Sons wondered if he put it under his pillow, would the Tooth Fairy bring him a quarter?
Bob guessed that the Tooth Fairy would be a little offended at this particular offering.
“I came all the way here for THAT?” is what she might say.
Before punching him in the teeth.
Bob decided that he doesn’t want some crazy-a$$ fairy getting all into his business while he sleeps.
So he’s going to leave that nasty, bruised toenail under my pillow.
Of course, he’ll have to weigh the options of a crazy-a$$ wife versus a crazy-a$$ Tooth Fairy.
It’s his call.