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Lifestyle

I Won This Time! But They’ll Be Out For Revenge

I won this time

I Won This Time!

Fake winter has come and gone..

We had a couple of really cold days.

With freezing cold nights.

You think that would have killed the bugs.

But it didn’t.

We’re now back to Second Fall with lovely, warm weather.

And the bugs are still here.

Why didn’t they die in the cold?

I found an enormous fire ant hill on the patio.

The patio!

Don’t they know there’s a boundary line that they’re not supposed to cross?

I got out the Raid.

Hand to heart, I swear that those evil fire ants thumbed their evil fire ant noses at me and continued on their evil fire ant march through the toxic mist.

I had to spray them many, many times.

I won.

This time.

They’ll be out for revenge now.

I seriously can’t wait for the first hard frost.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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Categories
Family Lifestyle

I Screamed Bloody Murder

I screamed bloody murder

Late last night, I let the dog out.

And then I screamed bloody murder.

The biggest freaking spider you have ever seen in your life scurried into the kitchen.

It looked like a little house spider.

On steroids.

Lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of steroids.

Of course I screamed bloody murder.

What else was I going to do?

Bob usually laughs at me when I scream at spiders.

This time, he was shocked at the size of it.

“Oh F**K,” he swore, slamming a coffee cup over the hairy brute.

It was so big that its massive legs stuck out all around the rim.

I swear I could hear it cursing and threatening us.

Bob courageously flung the massive spider-beast out into the yard.

I helped by flinching, whimpering, and shrieking.

And holding the door open.

When we turned inside, we saw that something had been left behind.

Twitching ominously at us from the kitchen floor was one revolting, hairy, spider leg.

Ewwww.

I’m going to have nightmares.

Nightmares of a man-sized, roid-raged, seven-legged spider.

With one bloody stump.

Returning to stab me in my sleep.