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Lifestyle

This Is A Cover Song? Really?

A Cover Song

I’ve always loved Baby Don’t Go, a duet sung by Dwight Yoakum and Sheryl Crow.

Their voices are beautiful.

I love anything that Dwight Yoakum sings.

I’ve always been amazed that such an enormous voice can come out of such a skinny guy.

So you can imagine that I was shocked, shocked, SHOCKED to find out that this is a cover song.

A Sonny and Cher cover song.

Seriously?

Oh, I can’t bear the shame of it.

I definitely like Dwight and Sheryl’s version better.

I guess it’s true.

There’s no accounting for taste.

I guess I do like a Sonny and Cher song.

Yeesh.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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Lifestyle

We Have A Winner! But Why? It’s Disgusting

We have a winner

We have a winner!

The women’s champion of this year’s Nathan’s hot dog eating contest won with 51 hot dogs in ten minutes.

Fifty-one hot dogs.

With buns.

Oh. My. God.

How?

I have never, in my entire life, eaten two hot dogs at once.

How in the world could a person eat 51?

You’d have to start much smaller and work your way up.

But seriously, after you had, say, five hot dogs in one sitting, you would be sick and bloated and nauseous.

Why in the world would you set your sights even higher?

What could possibly make you think, that after eating five hot dogs, maybe you should strive for ten?

And then 20?

All the way up to 51?

I can’t imagine eating 51 of anything, even something healthy.

Fifty-one carrots?

Nope.

Never gonna happen.

I googled how to train for a hot dog eating contest.

It’s disgusting.

I’ll bet all of those hot dog eating contestants are having a miserable 5th of July.

But hey, congratulations for eating 51 hot dogs.

We have a winner.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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WRITERS LOOKING FOR A STORY – HOW TO FIND YOUR NEXT IDEA

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Work

Positive Feedback Is So Much Better Than Criticism

Positive Feedback

In my creative writing classes, I have the students participate in a feedback circle.

One student will read their work out loud, and the rest of the group will give feedback.

It’s a first draft, so it’s expected that it will be messy.

I want the students to identify the diamond in the rough.

There’s always something good to say.

It’s easy to criticize, but that’s not the objective.

I want to know what they liked.

Were the characters interesting?

Was the story premise engaging?

Was there humor, or suspense, or any other element that was captivating?

“Focus on what’s working,” I always tell my writers.

It’s so much more productive than fussing about what’s not working.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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Categories
Lifestyle

Because It’s There, According To The Mosquitoes

Because it's there

I don’t know how to say this politely.

So I’ll just say it.

It appears that the mosquitoes had a party on my a$$ last night.

I’ve got several itchy bites in places that I can’t scratch.

Not in public anyway.

What I want to know is – why?

There’s plenty of available, easy-to-access flesh on my ankles, arms and face.

Why would they make things difficult for themselves by going for the keester?

It’s an awfully long journey up the pant leg.

Or through the fabric.

There’s plenty of available skin that’s much easier to access.

Maybe the a$$ is a mosquito goal.

Like Mt. Everest for people.

Because it’s there, as they say.

Yes, it’s here.

And it itches.

Stupid mosquitoes.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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Dog Lifestyle

I Love Dogs, But Three Is Too Many Dogs

Too Many Dogs

Three dogs is too many dogs.

I dog sat.

For two pups.

Including my Blue, there were three dogs in the house.

For days and days and days.

Oh. My. God.

That’s too many dogs.

At any given moment of any given day, one wanted in, one wanted out, one was barking, one was digging, one was chewing, one was jumping, and two were picking on the other one.

I got nothing done all week.

It felt like the old days with all the neighborhood kids running in and out of the house.

I definitely had a lot more tolerance for chaos back in the day.

Now that the boys are grown, I’ve become accustomed to a quiet and orderly routine.

Although Blue enjoyed the company, as soon as her playmates went home, she melted into the kitchen floor and slept soundly for several hours.

It’s confirmed.

I’m an only-dog household.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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Family

Next Year’s Tomato Garden Will Be Amazing!

Tomato Garden

My usual spring tradition is to plant a tomato garden.

I pour blood, sweat and tears, as well as a whole lot of money, into the thing.

Only to get, maybe, one or two puny tomatoes.

It’s a whole lot of effort for very little payout.

But every spring I get inspired all over again.

This year I did things differently.

I decided that this time, instead of killing tomatoes, I would attempt to kill some spinach.

And some herbs.

But things went very wrong.

Or very right.

Depending on your perspective.

My herbs are doing great.

I have parsley and cilantro that are growing like crazy.

But the scary thing is the basil.

That thing has grown to ungodly proportions.

It’s already bigger than me.

Yeah, I’m a little intimidated.

It’s only June.

How big is this thing going to get?

The spinach isn’t huge, but it’s everywhere.

Absolutely everywhere.

I’ve made chicken florentine.

I’ve made spinach manicotti.

I’ve made several spinach salads.

What else can I do with all this spinach?

Maybe I’ll feed it to the basil.

Although maybe not.

Frankenbasil is scary enough without also considering the Popyeye influence.

I don’t know what I did to get the basil that big.

But I need to figure it out.

Next year my tomato garden will be amazing.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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Family Lifestyle

A Lifetime Of Nagging Is Finally Showing Results!

Nagging

All that nagging has finally proven to be effective.

The Grown Son bought his first house.

It’s a very exciting time.

Before this, all he owned was a bed and some clothes.

He’s made a lot of purchases.

We spent the day helping him assemble furniture.

I am not an assembler.

I have no engineering abilities.

I have zero spatial skills.

In the time that it took me to assemble a couple of dining room chairs, Bob had put together the patio table with six chairs plus the dining room table and the kitchen table and the L-shaped desk in the office.

I had to set up and undo the stupid chair several times before I got it figured out.

It didn’t help that some of the parts were mislabeled.

Yes, they really were mislabeled.

It wasn’t just me being grumpy.

Although, to be truthful, I was feeling a tad out of sorts.

Bob assured me that I was doing a good job and that it wasn’t a race.

But he was wrong.

It was a race, and I was clearly losing.

On the bright side, the Grown Son is showing signs of Good Housekeeping.

He’s been sweeping and polishing and hauling out trash.

He’s purchased a vacuum, a mop, an extension duster, and all kinds of cleaning supplies.

He’s mowed the lawn, he’s swept the patio, and he’s hired a tree trimmer.

I told him that he might want to protect his new tables from water marks.

Instead of the expected eye roll, he put paper towels under the cups, and asked where to buy real coasters.

OMG, it’s happening!

He’s outgrowing his youthful, slovenly ways.

He was not raised in a barn, despite evidence pointing to the contrary.

Woo hoo – all that nagging is finally paying off.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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Lifestyle

Today Is A Great Day To Be Eating Gingerbread

Eating Gingerbread

Today is National Ketchup Day.

I’ve never been a fan.

Ketchup is way too sweet.

It’s also National Veggie Burger Day.

Blech.

No thanks.

Today also happens to be National Moonshine Day.

Meh.

Not a fan.

And it’s National Global Running Day.

Oh heck no.

Just no.

It sounds like today might not be such a great day.

But it’s also National Gingerbread Day.

Now we’re talking.

I love eating gingerbread.

Celebrating it in June is kind of weird because I think of it as a holiday treat.

But I can make this work.

Maybe I’ll go and buy some Anna’s Swedish Ginger Thins.

They’re soooooo good dunked in milk.

My mom used to love this one particular ginger lemon-cream cookie, but I can’t find it anywhere.

Now I’m on a mission to find that cookie, or maybe bake some just like it.

Trader Joe’s used to make a very spicy Ginger Cat Cookie.

My boys used to love them.

Now their cat cookies are just in chocolate.

Maybe I’ll try the Ginger Snaps.

Although they’re expensive.

They’d better be a whole lot better than Archway for that price.

At any rate, I’m going to have a lovely day eating gingerbread.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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Dog Lifestyle

Stupid Bunnies, They Really Should Know Better

Stupid bunnies

Stupid bunnies.

You’d think they would post some kind of community notification.

They ought to warn all the other bunnies to stay out of our yard.

We have a killer on the premises.

But no.

They keep on coming.

And Blue keeps on killing them.

We’re up to three this week.

Now don’t get me wrong.

I hate rabbits.

They’re evil, destructive little fluffers.

I’m happy to have the dog chase them away.

But I’m not thrilled with the killing.

It’s gross.

Depending on where we are in the trash pick-up cycle, it can get pretty stinky.

It’s only going to get stinkier as the weather gets hotter.

At our old house, we lived next to a greenbelt.

We would just shovel dead stuff over the fence and the buzzards would take care of it.

Here, though, the neighbors might object if we flung dead stuff into their yards.

Maybe I should put a bell on Blue’s collar.

It might give the rabbits a bit of a head start.

Stupid bunnies.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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DRIVING THE NARRATIVE – WHY IS CONFLICT IMPORTANT IN A STORY?

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Lifestyle Work

How To Stifle Creativity in a Budding Writer

A Budding Writer

I teach creative writing classes to middle schoolers.

I know that if I can make them laugh, they’ll participate.

No one has ever failed.

I treat my students, and their writing, like a diamond in the rough.

There’s always something worthwhile in every attempt.

Rather than point out the flaws and demand improvement, I point out the potential and encourage the effort.

So it was an enormous surprise, when I took a side gig grading papers for another teacher, that she has an entirely different approach.

The lesson objective was to write a conclusion.

The students were provided with the opening and body of a short story, and they were to write an ending paragraph.

One student took it a step further.

He wrote pages and pages and pages to continue the story.

He enriched the original piece with a well-thought-out plot twist.

He included character development, dialogue, conflict, suspense, engagement, and, in the end, a very satisfying conclusion that referred back to the opening paragraphs.

I gave the kid an A.

He went above and beyond the assignment and wrote a very well-crafted story.

The teacher, annoyed, corrected me.

The student, she said, had failed the assignment.

He didn’t follow instructions.

Excuse me?

This is a CREATIVE writing class.

If it was a technical writing class, then yes, he needs to follow instructions.

But creativity, by its very definition, should be given allowances.

I lost the argument.

She gave the kid an F.

Well there’s an easy way to stifle creativity in a budding writer.

I won’t be grading papers for this teacher again.

Kid, don’t let this incident discourage you.

Remember, JK Rowling was rejected many, many times before she finally got Harry Potter published.

Everyone’s a critic – don’t let that discourage you.

Keep writing!

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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