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Lifestyle Work

Boop! Why This Word Is Better Than The Original

Boop!
Boop!

Boop!

Kids should be in charge of naming things.

Today I was doing a proofreading drill with a group of early elementary kids.

The sentence needed an exclamation point at the end.

No one could see the error, so I read the sentence out loud dramatically to demonstrate the excitement of the passage.

“I know it, I know it!” they all shouted, but no one could remember the exact word for exclamation point.

They were all shouting and gesturing at once.

I knew they had figured it out, I was just giving them time to remember the word.

Then one kid shouted out, “It’s the swoop with the boop!”

She wasn’t wrong.

I would be remiss if I didn’t teach them the proper word for exclamation point.

But in my mind, that word has been forever changed to “the swoop with the boop.”

It’s so much more descriptive than ‘exclamation point.’

Boop!

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

About Me

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How To Find Funny Stories To Tell Your Friends

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Lifestyle

How My Fall Cleaning Plan Made A Fool Of Me

Fall Cleaning
Fall Cleaning

Fall cleaning has begun.

I got out the power washer to hit the outside of the windows.

It’s a quick job on a one-story house.

I’ve done it a thousand times.

But this time, the hose decided to go rogue and aim itself right at me.

Oooh!

Not only was it a powerful spray, it was COLD.

Since I was nearly done, there was no point in going inside to change.

I finished the job soaking wet on a windy, 52-degree morning.

Yes, a hot shower and a hot coffee were next on my to-do list.

Thankfully, nobody was around to laugh at me and take pictures.

There is no confirmation that an F-bomb was or wasn’t dropped.

Maybe I’ve made this whole story up for dramatic effect.

There is no evidence.

Except for the wet shoes by the back door.

And the very, very, very clean windows.

Let the fall cleaning continue.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

About Me

This post might include affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a small commission from the seller at no cost to you.

How To Cultivate Your Funny Story Ideas

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Lifestyle

Pumpkin Seeds Are The Best Part of Halloween!

Pumpkin seeds
Pumpkin Seeds

What I really love about Halloween is the roasted pumpkin seeds.

Of course, you have to carve some pumpkins in order to get the seeds.

I tried to create some evil, ghoulish jack-o-lanterns.

Bob burst out laughing.

“Those aren’t evil!” he chortled, “They’re earnest and well-intentioned.”

I’m not sure if I should be flattered that he thinks I’m so benevolent.

Or insulted that he mocked my pumpkin-carving skills.

I’ll take the flattery.

What the heck.

I’ll take whatever I can get.

My jack-o-lanterns may be goofy.

But the roasted pumpkin seeds are delicious!

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

About Me

This post might include affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a small commission from the seller at no cost to you.

Top Secrets to the Best Creative Writing Techniques

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Lifestyle

How To Cope With Going To The Dark Side

The Dark Side
The Dark Side

I’ve gone over to the Dark Side.

I don’t know what to do about it.

I might need an exorcism.

Or something.

This past week, I had a cold.

A very bad cold.

Seriously, it’s the worst cough I’ve ever had in my life.

It lasted for days and days and days.

And every day it seemed to get worse.

I had to resort to something shameful.

Absolutely disgraceful.

Spitting.

Ick.

I HATE spitting.

It’s disgusting.

The sound of someone working up a spit can send me right over the edge.

But I had no choice.

And it did bring relief.

Still, I can’t figure out how people can spit with such precision.

And when I say “people,” I mean guys.

I know it’s sexist, but it seems like spitting is a thing that men are born knowing how to do.

I am a terrible spitter, and I just make a slobbery mess.

But I feel better.

My family tried to offer me some suggestions.

Spit coaching, if you will.

I proved to be a terrible spit student.

Although I did entertain my guys so there’s that.

I’d like to forget this whole unpleasant incident.

But how can you forget something so traumatic?

If I were a cartoon character, I would drink a bottle of bleach and eat a scrub brush to erase the entire disgraceful episode from existence.

I don’t think that would work in real life.

My only option at this point is denial.

I have never spit in my life.

I have never ventured into the Dark Side.

That’s my story and I’m sticking with it.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

About Me

This post might include affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a small commission from the seller at no cost to you.

How To Create A Vivid Picture With Words

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Dog Lifestyle

Valuable Life Lessons From The Dog

Life lessons from the dog
Life Lessons From The Dog

Life lessons are everywhere, if only you can find them.

I never get sick.

Well, actually, I do get sick occasionally.

But there’s not much that a hot shower and a good night’s sleep can’t cure.

However, I’ve been hit with a cold this week.

A bad one.

It’s settled in my chest, and I’ve had a terrible cough.

I haven’t been this sick in years.

The cute thing about it (and yes, there IS a cute thing about it) is that Blue Dawg is very worried.

Every time I have a coughing fit, she rushes over and fusses around me until I stop.

She is showing me much more concern than my human family who state, every time that I cough, that I sound terrible.

They’re not wrong.

But they’re not helpful.

Although, now that I think about it, Blue might actually be saying the same thing.

In her own doggy way.

Maybe she’s not being helpful either.

But she’s cute, so there’s that.

My family could learn some valuable life lessons from the dog.

If you can’t be helpful, at least be cute.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

About Me

This post might include affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a small commission from the seller at no cost to you.

WHY IS CONFLICT IMPORTANT IN A STORY?

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Lifestyle

How To Miss Seeing The Northern Lights

Northern Lights
Northern Lights

Last night I saw online that many local people could see the Northern Lights.

So I went outside to check it out.

I did not see any Northern Lights.

But I did step on a whole bunch of sharp stuff that my oak tree drops in the driveway every fall.

My husband very helpfully told me that I should probably be wearing shoes.

Yes.

Yes, I probably should be wearing shoes.

That would have been a very good idea.

I wish I had thought of it.

I painfully crunched on more sharp stuff on my way back inside.

A couple of F-bombs may or may not have been dropped along the way.

This fact has not been confirmed.

Northern Lights 0, sharp stuff in the driveway 1.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

About Me

This post might include affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a small commission from the seller at no cost to you.

How To Create A Vivid Picture With Words

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Lifestyle Work

How To Proofread Like An Expert

How to proofread like an expert
How to proofread like an expert

You want to proofread like an expert.

But often, when you’re struggling over the grammar of a particular sentence, you can’t see the forest for the trees.

You can get so caught up in the very specific problem that you can’t see that the problem isn’t the problem at all.

Did that make any sense?

Probably not.

OK, let me try again.

Sometimes when a grammar problem presents itself and you can’t figure out how to solve it, the problem isn’t the grammar issue at all.

The problem is that the sentence is poorly written.

Try rewriting the entire sentence.

More often than not, the grammar problem will take care of itself when the sentence is worked out.

Here’s an example.

A sentence started out with, “The oldest of my sons has…”

Should the verb be ‘has’ or should it be ‘have?’

Both could be right.

And both would be wrong.

Verb choice is actually not the primary problem.

The problem is that the sentence is written with a vague and undefined subject.

In ‘the oldest of my sons’ the subject is ‘sons’ which would require the verb ‘have.’

But logic tells us that ‘the oldest of my sons’ is referring to a specific child, and a singular subject would require the verb ‘has.’

However, ‘has’ just sounds wrong.

Rather than debating which verb form should be used, how about revising the sentence to clearly identify the subject?

If the sentence read, “My oldest son has…” the subject would clearly be ‘son’ in which case, the verb ‘has’ is obviously the right choice.

Keep this in mind the next time you are struggling over a grammar issue.

Try reworking the entire sentence, and the grammar problem might just work itself out.

This is a PSA from your favorite English teacher, who wants to show you how to proofread like an expert.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

About Me

This post might include affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a small commission from the seller at no cost to you.

A FREE EDITING CHECKLIST!

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Dog Lifestyle

It’s A Miracle – I Took A Good Photo!

A Good Photo
A Good Photo

Happy National Dog Day!

I have never, ever, ever taken a a good photo of Blue.

She’s all black, and she’s curly.

Most of my pictures are a dark, blobby swirl.

However, I got a great shot today.

Why?

Because I followed my friend Michelle Debenport’s photography advice!

I fooled around with the lighting settings on my phone.

I fooled around with the F-stop settings on my phone.

And, very importantly, I MOVED MY FEET and found a great perspective.

Not only that, I practiced selective sharing, which Michelle says is the easiest way to improve your photography.

I took lots and lots and lots of pics to get this one good one.

There are a whole lot of terrible shots on my phone, and several decent ones, and this one.

Selective sharing – it works!

The only thing I don’t like about this pic, which you wouldn’t even know about if you don’t know Blue, is that she’s annoyed.

She usually has a happy smile on her face, and her ears are always perked up and eager.

But she didn’t want to sit and stay with my phone in her face.

If you didn’t know her, though, you probably wouldn’t even notice that ‘tude.

Thanks, Michelle, for your amazing photography advice.

It’s a miracle – I took a good photo!

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

About Me

This post might include affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a small commission from the seller at no cost to you.

HOW TO CREATE A VIVID PICTURE WITH WORDS

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Lifestyle Work

It’s F-Word Friday From Now On

The F-word
F-word

Recently, in English class, I had the kids proofreading sentences.

One little girl piped up, “The F-word needs to be capitalized.”

Um…well…yeah…sort of.

The F-word that she was referring to was Friday.

And yes, we do need to capitalize the days of the week.

Technically, she was right.

A proper noun does require a capital letter.

But I wasn’t about to explain the nuanced meaning of the F-word to her.

The teacher in me was professional.

But my inner, immature, 12-year-old self was giggling uncontrollably.

It’s called F-word Friday from now on.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

About Me

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WHY KEEPING IT CLEAN IS A GREAT STRATEGY

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Lifestyle Work

This is Why I Love Pyramids!

I love pyramids
I love pyramids

I love me a pyramid!

I love it when little kids use the wrong words.

Sometimes the mistake is so hilarious that their wrong word becomes the new word.

My kids are grown now, but we still say, “pay a chicken,” instead of “pay attention.”

When we get annoyed with each other, we snarl a contemptuous, “You d*ck”, because that’s exactly how my two-year-old said it to his big brother.

At the time, the big brother was terribly offended.

But since he was the one who introduced the little guy to that kind of language, he kind of asked for it.

This morning, I was teaching an English class to a group of second graders.

We were writing sentences.

One little girl informed me that we have to end every sentence with a pyramid.

It almost killed me to have to correct her.

I like the concept of indicating a full stop with a shrine to the ancient Egyptian pharaohs.

However, since I’m the teacher, I guess I have an obligation to correct her.

It would be a poor reflection on me if I didn’t.

But I really do like the idea of ending my sentences with a pyramid.            

It would add so much more dimension to my writing.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

About Me

This post might include affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a small commission from the seller at no cost to you.

How Simple Joys Can Make Excellent Writing Topics

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