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Dog Lifestyle

I’ve Been Traumatized, But My Dog Is Happy

I've Been Traumatized

I’ve been traumatized.

It finally happened.

I’ve worried about this for ages.

All the what-ifs have been giving me nightmares.

I’ve told myself that I’m just being silly.

I’m overthinking this thing.

It’s never really going to happen.

But it did.

It happened.

Blue brought a dead rabbit into the house through the doggy door.

She. Brought. In. A. Dead. Rabbit.

I caught her when she was just about to hop onto the couch with it.

In a panic, I did the only thing I could think of.

I screamed.

Surprised, she dropped the rabbit on the floor.

Who, as it turns out, wasn’t actually dead.

So she picked it up and gave it a good hard shake to finish the job.

Oh. My. God.

No one else was at home.

I was forced into a one-person Cri-Man-Squa.

That’s a Michael Scott reference if you aren’t an Office fan.

There were no other options.

I got a dustpan and a broom to deal with the carcass.

Luckily, there was no blood.

And luckier still, it was on the floor and not on the furniture.

I would have had to burn the couch.

I got the dead body into a trash bag while continuously moaning and ewwwing and flinching.

It was horrifying.

I had to sanitize the spot on the floor.

All while being completely grossed out with the heebie jeebies.

I texted my family to inform them of the crisis.

Every one of them thought it was hilarious.

For the record, it was not hilarious.

I have PTDRS.

Blue is never, ever, ever using that doggy door again.

From now on, she is going to have to wait at the back door and pass muster before she’ll be allowed back in the house.

Blue Dawg couldn’t care less.

She’s happy and sassy and very, very, very proud of herself.

I, on the other hand, have been traumatized.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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Dog Lifestyle

I Love Dogs, But Three Is Too Many Dogs

Too Many Dogs

Three dogs is too many dogs.

I dog sat.

For two pups.

Including my Blue, there were three dogs in the house.

For days and days and days.

Oh. My. God.

That’s too many dogs.

At any given moment of any given day, one wanted in, one wanted out, one was barking, one was digging, one was chewing, one was jumping, and two were picking on the other one.

I got nothing done all week.

It felt like the old days with all the neighborhood kids running in and out of the house.

I definitely had a lot more tolerance for chaos back in the day.

Now that the boys are grown, I’ve become accustomed to a quiet and orderly routine.

Although Blue enjoyed the company, as soon as her playmates went home, she melted into the kitchen floor and slept soundly for several hours.

It’s confirmed.

I’m an only-dog household.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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Dog Lifestyle

Stupid Bunnies, They Really Should Know Better

Stupid bunnies

Stupid bunnies.

You’d think they would post some kind of community notification.

They ought to warn all the other bunnies to stay out of our yard.

We have a killer on the premises.

But no.

They keep on coming.

And Blue keeps on killing them.

We’re up to three this week.

Now don’t get me wrong.

I hate rabbits.

They’re evil, destructive little fluffers.

I’m happy to have the dog chase them away.

But I’m not thrilled with the killing.

It’s gross.

Depending on where we are in the trash pick-up cycle, it can get pretty stinky.

It’s only going to get stinkier as the weather gets hotter.

At our old house, we lived next to a greenbelt.

We would just shovel dead stuff over the fence and the buzzards would take care of it.

Here, though, the neighbors might object if we flung dead stuff into their yards.

Maybe I should put a bell on Blue’s collar.

It might give the rabbits a bit of a head start.

Stupid bunnies.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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Dog Lifestyle

The Dog Park – We Go Every Morning

The Dog Park

Several weeks ago, when Bob reseeded the back yard, I started taking Blue around the corner to our neighborhood dog park.

We wanted to keep her off the lawn.

Blue loves the dog park.

She’s made a BFF named Rosie.

Rosie is a herding dog.

And Blue seems to enjoy being herded.

It works out well.

We’ve been having lovely spring afternoons, but the nights can still get cold.

This morning it was only 44⁰ outside.

“We’ll go to the park this afternoon when it’s 70⁰,” I promised the dog, opening the back door to let her out in the yard.

Blue was having none of that.

She refused to go outside.

I’ve created a monster.

So I bundled up and took her to the park.

It was a beautiful, bright, but chilly, spring morning.

Apparently the sprinklers were on at the dog park overnight.

It was a swamp.

It didn’t bother Blue in the least, but I was a bit put off.

We had to take a long walk around the neighborhood to dry her paws off.

And my shoes.

I have to admit that these early morning jaunts are becoming a nice routine.

Although I could do without the mud.

And the chill.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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Dog

Second Winter Really Caught Me By Surprise

Second Winter

The backyard is not yet ready for Blue.

I’m still taking her to the dog park several times a day.

And I’ve noticed that we have experienced all the seasons in just this week alone.

We’ve had lovely Early Spring weather in the 70s.

Followed by sweltering Fake Summer heat in the 90s.

Today we’re back to Second Winter in the 40s.

I bundled up to go to the dog park this morning.

Turtleneck, hoodie, hat, mittens, boots, and big jacket.

I debated wearing my parka.

But I thought that maybe I would be too hot.

It turns out that I froze my a$$ off.

Literally.

The parka is long and goes down to my knees.

My backside would have been much warmer in that.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll wear the parka.

Although, with my luck, tomorrow will be Fake Summer again, and I’ll be too hot.

Soon enough it will be Real Summer, and the weather will be predictably hot.

I guess I should just be grateful for the cool weather while I’ve got it.

Liz Brenner

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Even you.

Especially you.

Blue's favorite things
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Dog

Sometimes Neologism Is The Only Thing To Do

Neologism

It’s been an incredibly mild, gorgeous February.

The ten-day forecast shows even more gorgeous weather.

Bob decided that this would be a good time to reseed the yard.

This means that we can’t let the dog out.

She’ll need several walks a day.

It won’t be a problem in the 70⁰ afternoons.

This time of year, however, it still gets cold overnight.

This morning it was 37⁰ when I walked Blue to the dog park.

I was hoping that a rousing round of fetch would warm me up.

Blue wasn’t having any of it.

She was determined to slowly and meticulously sniff every square inch of the park.

It’s a small park.

But it felt enormous as I was popsicling in the frigid morning air.

Is popsicling a word?

Yes.

It’s the gerund form of the noun popsicle.

It means, “Freezing your a$$ off while you’re waiting for your dog to painstakingly sniff every #@$#% scent in the park.”

Popsicling – yes, it’s a word.

So is neologism, which refers to making up new words.

I can’t wait for our afternoon walk, where I will bask in the warm spring sunshine.

She can take all the time she wants to sniff.

At 70⁰, I won’t care.

Liz Brenner

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Dog

Why It’s Good To Be A Spoiled Rotten Dawg!

Spoiled Rotten

Spoiled Rotten

I completely forgot.

I felt terrible.

My poor, spoiled rotten, Blue Dawg.

When we first rescued her, we were told that she had been abused in a crate and that she was, therefore, terrified of crates.

Not using a crate was a condition of the adoption.

I agreed.

On the rare occasion when I need to confine her, I just tie her off on her leash.

She has no problem with this.

Our groomer understood and has never put her in a crate.

But we recently lost our groomer, and we had to find a new one.

I completely forgot about the crate issue until Blue and I arrived for her appointment.

The groomer told me that it’s company policy to use a crate.

She told me that she’ll do her best with my dog, and if there’s a problem, she’ll call me.

I worried all morning.

I didn’t want Blue to be traumatized.

She’s been through more than enough already.

But I never got the call.

They told me that Blue had no problem at all with the crate.

She was calm and happy when I picked her up, so I know they told me the truth.

I’m so glad that our spoiled rotten girl has, apparently, forgotten her past trauma.

Yay rescue dogs!

Good girl, Blue, good girl.

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Liz Brenner

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Especially you.

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Dog

Blue Is Starting The New Year In The Dog House

Dog House

In The Dog House

Blue is starting the New Year in the dog house.

She has been a very, very, very naughty girl.

Naughtier than usual.

Blue is actually a very good dog.

She has learned that she’s not allowed to go into the garbage, or counter surf, or chew socks.

Well, let me clarify that.

She knows she’s not allowed to do those things when people are around.

Lately she has been strategically doing all the naughty things when no one is in the room.

If she doesn’t hear NO, then it’s OK for her to do it.

Right?

Yeah, nah, that’s not going to work for me.

Blue is now in the dog house.

She’s confined to a leash.

Even indoors.

For a week.

Years ago, we had a dog who misbehaved, and a trainer suggested this strategy.

It worked for Wrigley back in the day.

Perhaps it will work for Blue.

Hopefully we can reset her back to factory standards.

Maybe she’ll work her way out of the dog house.

Good girl, Blue, good girl.

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blue's favorite things

Liz Brenner

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Even you.

Especially you.

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Dog

This is Why She’s Considered A Doofus

Doofus

She’s Such a Doofus

She really is a doofus.

Blue Dawg.

Otherwise known as Bluefus the doofus.

It turns out that she doesn’t like turkey gizzards.

Who ever heard of a dog not liking gizzards?

I put them in her bowl.

Blue was puzzled, as if to say, “What in the world is this nonsense?”

Then she bent down to eat, and I thought that all was well.

Until later, when I stepped on a gizzard that she deposited in the middle of the room.

Sure enough, she placed gizzard parts all over the house.

Ewww.

Luckily we have hard floors so it was easy enough to clean up.

That would have been a stinky mess on carpeting.

I’ve never heard of a dog who doesn’t like gizzards.

Until now.

What a doofus.

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Liz Brenner

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Dog

Good Girl, Blue – What A Good Watchdog

Good Girl

Good Girl, Blue

Good girl, Blue.

Blue is a watchdog.

But not a very effective watchdog.

She’ll bark at random leaves.

Passing schoolkids.

And, more often than not, nothing at all.

Last night, at 2:00 am, she went bonkers.

She never barks at night, so Bob got up to investigate.

In our driveway, dressed ninja-style, were three bad guys, checking out the cars.

Bob yelled, and the ninjas ran off.

The cops came to the house to take a report.

My biggest disappointment is that I slept through the entire thing.

I missed all the excitement.

Blue is a hero.

I will never again tell her to shut up when she’s barking at random leaves.

Good girl, Blue, good girl.

Liz Brenner

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