Categories
Lifestyle

I’m Impressed – It’s Why I Think My Kid Is A Genius

Mostly True Memoirs

I'm impressed

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I’m Impressed!

I’m impressed.

My son had a great idea.

He’s an absolute genius.

Here’s the backstory.

When we first moved into this house, the oven wouldn’t keep an accurate temperature.

I bought an oven thermometer.

Sure enough, the temp was off by about 10 degrees.

Which wasn’t a problem at all.

I could just make the adjustments.

However, recently, the oven couldn’t seem to hold a steady temperature at all.

I would set it for 350 but it would barely register at 250.

And then it would drop to 100.

We started to shop for a new range.

However, we don’t use the oven much in the summertime.

Maybe we could put off this major purchase for awhile.

Perhaps we can shop around and wait for a sale.

The Genius Son suggested that maybe the oven isn’t broken at all.

Maybe it’s the thermometer that’s broken.

I purchased a new oven thermometer, and set the temp for 350.

The old thermometer barely registered at 200.

The new thermometer registered at 340.

Which is normal since we already know the oven is off by 10 degrees.

Woo hoo!

Instead of spending thousands of dollars on a new range, we spent $5.00 on a new oven thermometer.

I’m impressed.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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Categories
Dog

Why I Need To Pay Attention To My Own Advice

Mostly True Memoirs

Why I need to pay attention to my own advice

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Pay Attention!

It was all my fault.

I knew it could happen.

In fact, I’ve warned my family about this very thing.

But I didn’t pay attention.

And it happened.

Blue got carsick.

All over my back seat.

When the windows are open, she does just fine.

I forgot to open the windows.

It wasn’t my intention to spend a sweltering hot afternoon detailing my car.

But that’s what I did.

The car was dirty and needed cleaning anyway.

So it wasn’t a total loss.

But to add insult to injury, I got an ant bite.

Actually, I got a cluster of five ant bites.

And now I’ve got a three-inch-wide welt going all the way around  my ankle.

Stupid ants.

Next time I’ll pay attention.

I’ll open the windows for Blue.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

CHECK OUT SOME AMAZING WRITING RESOURCES!

CLICK HERE TO COMMENT – I PROMISE I’LL RESPOND

Categories
Family

It’s That Time of the Year

Mostly True Memoirs

That Time of the Year

IT’S THAT TIME OF THE YEAR

It’s that time of the year.

It’s time for our annual insurance renewal fiasco.

It happens every year.

The pharmacy wouldn’t release the prescription.

The birthdate was incorrect.

Excuse me?

We all have the same birthdates we have always had.

Nothing has changed in that department.

They told me to call the insurance company to straighten it out.

This entailed an entire afternoon of phone calls and lengthy holds.

It eventually got resolved in my favor.

I knew it would.

I received an updated text from the pharmacy that my order was ready.

Back I went.

Where the clerk told me they couldn’t release my order.

The birthdate was incorrect.

I took a deep breath.

A very deep breath.

I was about to go full Karen on him.

But then he looked through the computer records and saw that the issue had been resolved.

I got the prescription.

As soon as I got home, the kid remembered an additional thing that he needs from the pharmacy.

I need a drink.

Categories
Work

Today is National Ampersand Day

Mostly True Memoirs

National Ampersand Day

TODAY IS NATIONAL AMPERSAND DAY

Today is National Ampersand Day.

Seriously?

The ampersand has a holiday?

Why would anyone want to celebrate this symbol?

It’s only used in writing.

No one ever says the word, “ampersand.”

It’s only supposed to be written in very specific circumstances.

How in the world do you celebrate?

Tacos?

Beer?

Tacos & beer?

It’s not grammatically correct to use the ampersand in this context…

But since it’s tacos & beer, who’s going to complain?

Categories
Work

Proofread Before You Post

Mostly True Memoirs

Proofread before you post

PROOFREAD BEFORE YOU POST

I don’t correct people’s grammar when I’m not teaching.

That’s obnoxious.

Especially online.

It’s so easy to make typos.

And auto correct can be a jerk.

I make plenty of mistakes myself.

I try to overlook it when I see it online.

HOWEVER…

Today I read an entire conversation about a dessert tortoise.

The first post was about a pet dessert tortoise.

And all of the responses were about other people’s pet dessert tortoises.

Every single person in the thread spelled desert wrong.

In my mind, I pictured a slow-moving tortoise covered in whipped cream and chocolate syrup with a sprinkling of salmonella.

It’s a desert tortoise.

Not a dessert tortoise.

Proofread before you post.

Categories
Work

It Could Be a Very Interesting Concept

Mostly True Memoirs

It could be a very interesting concept

IT COULD BE A VERY INTERESTING CONCEPT

I’ve been binge-reading Baldacci thrillers.

I’ve been binge-watching True Detective on HBO.

I can’t help but notice the similarities between Rustin Cohle and Amos Decker.

They both suffered devastating losses.

They both suffered brain injuries.

They both are insufferably self absorbed.

And they are both trying to do the best they can with the rotten hand they’ve been dealt.

Now I want to see a crossover where Cohle and Decker work a case together.

Marty Hart and Melvin Mars would have to show up too, to keep them from killing each other.

It could be a very interesting concept.

Categories
Work

Season One of True Detective

Mostly True Memoirs

Season One of True Detective

SEASON ONE OF TRUE DETECTIVE

I just finished Season One of True Detective.

It wasn’t really a cop show.

It wasn’t really about a cold case.

It wasn’t really about what might have happened all those years ago.

That was just the vehicle to tell the story.

The real story was about sin and redemption.

And grief.

And enduring friendship.

I can’t wait to start Season Two.

Categories
Lifestyle

Everyone is Talking About Tiger King

Mostly True Memoirs

Everyone is talking about Tiger King

EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT TIGER KING

Everyone is talking about Tiger King.

So I started to watch it.

I immediately determined that I lack the proper level of Quarantine Desperation necessary for this show.

I have started a concurrent binge of Prodigal Son and True Detective.

These are both really good stories.

I’ll keep Tiger King on the back burner.

If The Husband and I can ever be bothered to have a Quarantine Fight, I’ll watch Tiger King with the volume way up high.

Just to annoy him

Categories
Toastmasters

A Solution for Writer’s Block

Mostly True Memoirs

A solution for writer's block

A SOLUTION FOR WRITER’S BLOCK

It’s NaNoWriMo.

National Novel Writing Month.

The challenge is to write 1667 words a day.

Every single day.

For an entire month.

Many writers are complaining of writer’s block.

I have the perfect solution for that.

Join Toastmasters.

At Toastmasters, you will learn how to do impromptu speaking.

You can apply everything you learn about impromptu speaking to your writing.

Not every speech, and not every piece of writing, will be great.

But you can rework those less-than-perfect pieces into something better.

You can edit a rough first draft.

You can’t edit a blank screen.

Join Toastmasters to find a solution for writer’s block.

Categories
Diabetes Work

NaNoWriMo

Mostly True Memoirs

NaNoWriMo

NANOWRIMO

Not only is November National Diabetes Awareness Month, It is also NaNoWriMo.

National Novel Writing Month.

The idea is to write 1667 words a day.

If you do that every day, you will have written 50,000 words by the end of November.

I’m not entering the official contest.

In the official contest you have to upload your manuscript to prove your word count.

I’m not that trusting.

I’ll do the writing.

I’ll do the word count.

But I’m not uploading my work…