Tag: blue

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Dog

No Regrets, No Morals, No Confession – It’s A Mystery

No regrets

No regrets

No Regrets

No regrets.

I made some ham and cheese sliders.

I ate two.

The Grown Son, on his way out the door, grabbed a few as well.

I got a phone call.

When my call was done, I went to wrap up the sandwiches to save for the rest of the family.

There were none.

What?

If I had two, and the Grown Son grabbed maybe three or four, there should be a whole lot left over.

The suspect?

A very large, very hairy, four-legged thief.

Who has no morals and no regrets.

And who loves to counter surf.

Blue denied everything, of course.

However, her claims of innocence were accompanied by lots of tail wagging and an ecstatic grin.

In the morning, she didn’t want her breakfast.

I’m certain her belly continued to be quite full of ham and cheese sliders.

She’s still not talking.

I’m still suspicious.

The mystery deepens…

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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Dog

My Dog Is Always Happy – She Gets A Five-Star Rating

Always Happy

Always Happy

My Dog Is Always Happy

My book club read The Anthropocene Reviewed.

It’s a collection of essays about life in the modern world.

The author ends each topic with a star rating, similar to Yelp.

We discussed the rating system, and agreed, as a group, that a five-star rating is ridiculous.

It indicates perfection.

And nothing is perfect.

Except, I suggested, for dogs.

Dogs are perfect.

My Blue is always happy, always eager, always in a good mood.

She is pure, sweet joy.

Everyone laughed and agreed that dogs certainly do deserve five stars.

Except for one lady who doesn’t like dogs.

That’s OK.

She’s entitled to her opinion.

Even if it’s wrong.

I’ll give her one star.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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Dog

Happy National Dog Day To The Best Dog Ever!

Happy National Dog Day

Happy National Dog Day

National Dog Day

Happy National Dog Day!

It’s a perfect day to celebrate Blue.

She is the happiest dog ever.

It doesn’t matter what’s happening – she’s happy.

Dinner?  

Happy.

Belly rub?

Happy.

Car ride?

Happy.

Walk?

Happy.

Fetch?

Happy.

Sprinklers?

Happy.

She is the best dog ever.

Except, of course, for Wrigley.

She was the best dog ever.

As was Schatzi.

And Dave.

They were all the best dogs ever.

Which makes no sense.

Unless you’ve had dogs.

IYKYK.

Happy National Dog Day!

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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Dog

Karma’s a B**ch! I Learned It The Hard Way Today.

Karma's A B**ch

Karma's A B**ch

Karma’s A B**ch!

Karma’s a b**ch.

I probably shouldn’t have laughed at the Grown Son.

The payback was brutal.

This time, Blue got sick all over my office.

By the time I found the mess this morning, the stench was unbearable.

It must have been brewing all night.

Blue, meanwhile, was happy as a lark.

No regrets.

We skipped her obedience class today.

I didn’t want her getting sick in my car.

Or passing her germs on to other dogs.

Are my priorities wrong?

Should I have put the other dogs’ health first, before the car?

She’s gotten carsick before, and believe me, I don’t want a repeat of that.

At any rate, she’s staying home.

My office has been cleaned and sanitized.

The windows are open, the fans are on.

The Grown Son thinks this whole episode is hilarious.

Karma’s such a b**ch.

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Lifestyle

That Spongebob Song About The Best Day Ever

That Spongebob Song

That Spongebob Song

That Spongebob Song

It’s the best day ever!

Spongebob sang it, so it’s gotta be true.

Today is National Puppy Day.

What could be better than National Puppy Day?

Today is also National Tamale Day.

And it’s also National Chip and Dip Day.

All these wonderful things on the same day?

It doesn’t get much better than this.

It’s also National Near Miss Day.

Seriously?

Come on – don’t rain on my puppy, tamale, and chip and dip parade.

I’ve got that annoying Spongebob song going through my head now.

Maybe that song is my near miss.

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Dog

Whew – That Was One Disasterous Problem Solved!

Problem Solved

Problem Solved

Problem Solved!

We have a new neighbor.

They have three large, territorial dogs.

Those dogs have taken strongly against Blue.

They fling themselves against the wooden fence, barking wildly.

I swear, one of these days, they’re going to break through that barrier.

Since they’re a pack and Blue is solo, guess who will lose that fight?

I discussed all of this with Bob who poo-pooed my concerns.

He told me that we don’t even own the fence, it’s on their property.

I hope that thought brings him comfort after Blue and I are slaughtered.

The time came, however, when Bob saw for himself that the wooden slats practically bubbled out into an angry dog shape.

He went right outside to shore the fence up.

I’m still not confident that it’s secure.

So I bought an ultrasonic device that emits several different terrible sounds that only dogs can hear.

It’s supposed to stop them in their tracks.

And … it worked!

They barked, I pressed the button, and I obviously couldn’t hear a thing.

But all the dogs, including Blue, jumped away from the fence.

Whew – problem solved!

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Dog

Lessons From A Dog – It’s Not a Bad Way to Start The Day

Lessons From A Dog

Lessons From A Dog

Lessons From A Dog

Blue has come to expect a fervent and slobbery good morning kiss.

Every single day.

From each and every member of the household.

Enthusiastic leaping, wagging, and licking is a requirement.

From the dog, not necessarily from the humans.

She is wildly excited to greet each person as they awaken.

The family, on the other hand, is grumpy and delirious and hasn’t had any coffee yet.

Blue doesn’t care.

She demands a wholehearted, full-contact, good-morning wrassle.

And she always gets it.

To tell the truth, it’s not a bad way to start the day.

Unbridled happiness is her go-to mood.

We could learn some serious life lessons from a dog.

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Dog

It’s Been Confirmed

It's Been Confirmed

It's Been Confirmed

It’s Been Confirmed

It’s been confirmed.

Blue gets carsick.

If anyone needs me, I’ll be spending the rest of the day detailing my car.

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Dog

It’s Such A Happy Gotcha Day

Happy Gotcha Day

Happy Gotcha Day

Happy Gotcha Day

I can’t believe it’s been a whole year.

Today is Blue’s gotcha day.

A year ago today we rescued the happiest girl in the world.

She had been abused, living in a cage, forced to breed.

Today she loves to sunbathe and chase rabbits and snooze on the sofa.

She’s living her best life.

And so are we.

We got her just two months after we lost Wrigley.

It seemed, on the one hand, too soon to get another pet.

But a house is so bleak and lonely without a dog.

Blue brought dog-joy back into our home.

Ninja is her favorite game.

She’s a black dog, and she blends into our black sofas.

Often, we can’t find her in plain sight.

When we hear her tail thump, we know she is hiding on the couch.

She also loves to torment our neighbor dogs.

They’ll all run up and down the fence, barking at each other.

Lately Blue has a new tactic.

She makes absolutely no noise, but she stealthily and silently runs up and down the fence, driving the other dogs insane.

She knows that when she barks I’ll call her inside, so now she does her tormenting in silence.

It’s the dog version of “I’m not touching you.”

I’ll bet she was a big sister in another life.

Blue is wildly happy every day, and it’s infectious.

You can’t help but be happy too, in the presence of so much joy.

Happy Gotcha Day, Blue!

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Lifestyle

These Stupid Crutches Are Going To Be The Death Of Me!

These Stupid Crutches

These Stupid Crutches

These Stupid Crutches!

These stupid crutches have changed my entire routine.

Everything is now an enormous pain in the butt.

I’ve started holing up in my home office with some snacks so that I don’t have to leave the room all day.

There’s a bathroom next door, so my need to lurch around the house on crutches is limited.

Today, however, I was home alone.

And I kept hearing weird noises.

The dog was going in and out of the doggy door.

Again and again and again.

What the heck was she up to?

I couldn’t stand the suspense any longer.

I crutched my way to the other end of the house.

Blue was nowhere in sight.

There were no signs of doggy destruction.

I called to her, but she didn’t come.

She was probably destroying something around the side of the house.

There was nothing I could do.

I peg-legged myself back to my office.

Again, I heard the doggy door flapping.

“Oh for **** sake!” I muttered and hobbled back to the other end of the house.

Again, Blue was nowhere to be found.

Unwilling to make the perilous journey all the way across the house yet again, I plopped myself into a chair to wait for her to make that noise again.

And then I heard it.

Oh no!

It wasn’t the doggy door after all.

I had accidentally shut her in the bedroom.

Blue had been scratching on the door.

She was so excited when I freed her that I had to hold onto the door frame for dear life.

Poor girl.

Poor me.

She was about to knock me right off my only good leg.

I had to stomp my crutches to get her to calm down.

She doesn’t like those things.

To be fair, neither do I.

I hop-stepped over to the couch to cuddle an apology to her.

But she was still very excited, and I was afraid that she was going to jump on my bad knee.

I had to stomp the crutches again.

But all’s well that ends well.

She spent the rest of the day napping on the rug in my office.

Blue and I will both be glad to be done with these stupid crutches.