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Dog

Trust Issues – It’s Why Blue Dawg Stayed On The Leash

Trust

Trust Issues

I have trust issues.

We had friends over to BBQ.

I kept Blue on a leash connected to my belt loop with a D-ring.

She is a very naughty girl.

I don’t trust her.

Not for one second.

Not while steak is within reach.

Since we’ve resumed training, she’s become quite well behaved.

On the leash, she heeled and sat and didn’t bark at all.

She tried to convince me that since she was such a good girl, I could take the leash off.

Ha!

No way.

There was food everywhere.

There were people everywhere.

There were dishes everywhere.

Nope.

Blue has a reputation for eating anything she can get her hands on.

Or snout.

Whatever.

She has no morals and no regrets.

And I have trust issues.

The leash stayed on.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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Categories
Lifestyle

Flies. I Now Know Why We Have So Many Flies

Flies

Stupid Flies

Flies.

Where are they coming from?

We have big, enormous, swarming, annoying pests.

That bite.

I’ve never seen them like this before.

It turns out they’re coming from the blackberries.

Because it’s been raining so much, I haven’t been able to pick the berries as fast as they’re ripening.

Hence the insects.

Today I cut the old growth down.

I covered myself from head to toe.

Because of the flies.

That bite.

I’m done with the blackberries for the season.

There’s already a lot of new growth started.

I’m going to keep it all trimmed down.

To a more manageable size.

Stupid flies.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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Categories
Lifestyle

Speeding. It’s A Bad Idea. On This Particular Street.

Speeding

Speeding. It’s a Bad Idea.

There’s a segment of Basswood Blvd that’s in the middle of nowhere.

So, of course, everyone speeds.

Why not?

Why not, indeed.

I got pulled over recently.

For speeding.

Luckily I only got a warning and not a ticket.

I learned my lesson.

Now I go the speed limit.

Who knows where that cop might be hiding out?

Today, cars were speeding past me and honking because I was going so slow.

I was hoping one of them would get pulled over.

But that cop was not out today.

I’ve pushed my luck as far as I’m going to risk it.

Let them honk.

I’m going 30 on Basswood.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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Categories
Lifestyle

The Movie Is Never As Good As The Book

Movie

It’s A Great Movie!

I didn’t know that As I Lay Dying was made into a movie.

How did I miss that?

I would have thought it would be an old, classic flick.

But it’s modern.

Ish.

2013.

I was very pleasantly surprised to see that this movie followed the book closely.

Most film adaptations take wild liberties with the story.

The book is always better than the movie.

Well, almost always.

This movie was really good.

But when it was over, I felt mildly disturbed.

It’s not a happy-ever-after kind of story.

I had to watch a few episodes of Seinfeld to clear my brain out.

There’s nothing like a little Kramer to help you forget, well, everything.

The same actors also made The Sound and The Fury.

I’ll have to watch that, too.

But I’ll give it  a week or so.

There’s only so much Faulkner you can take at one time.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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Categories
Lifestyle

It’s Obnoxious – Don’t Use Your Speaker In Public!

Speaker

Don’t Use Your Speaker In Public!

At the pharmacy today, the woman behind me entered the store in the middle of a very loud conversation on speaker mode with her daughter.

How did I know it was her daughter?

She called the woman Mom.

They spoke at length about a trip to Costco.

And dropping the kids off at swimming lessons.

And then picking them up.

They were as loud as they were inane.

Why did the woman stay on speakerphone?

Why didn’t she wait outside until she was done?

Did the daughter know that everyone could hear her?

The guy who was helping me was so distracted that he kept making mistakes.

Which only prolonged the agony.

It wasn’t his fault.

He’s usually very efficient.

If I were a bold and nervy sort of person, I would have joined the conversation.

Or at the very least, I would have done something distracting.

Or rude.

But I am neither bold nor nervy.

I simply endured.

And promised myself I will NEVER use the speaker in public.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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Categories
Lifestyle

It Was Worth It – A Great Book Is Always Worth It!

It Was Worth It

It Was Totally Worth It!

It was worth it.

I just read Remarkably Bright Creatures for a book club.

You can’t find it for love or money in any library.

There’s a 12-week wait on Overdrive.

I was tempted to just skip the read this month.

But then I saw it in a bookstore so I picked it up.

And boy, am I glad I did.

I loved this story.

I have just spent the entire morning watching Giant Pacific Octopus clips on YouTube.

No it wasn’t a waste of time.

It was enriching.

And educational.

But now I have a morning’s worth of work to catch up on.

It was totally worth it.

A great book is always worth it.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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Categories
Lifestyle

Why The Blackberries Need To Be Trimmed

Blackberries

Blackberries!

I was told, years ago, that I would regret planting blackberries.

Well, I don’t actually regret it.

Yet.

But holy smokes I’ve got a lot of fruit.

I still have frozen berries from last summer.

And lots of jars of jam.

And now there’s a new harvest.

This year I’m going to make juice.

From the juice I can make shaved ice.

Or pancake syrup.

Or margaritas.

And I’m going to try my hand at ice cream.

I’ll still freeze some whole berries because they are good in smoothies and pies.

After this harvest, I’m going to trim the vines down to a much smaller version of what I’ve got.

Otherwise, next summer I might literally drown in blackberries.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

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Especially you.

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Categories
Lifestyle

Mosquitoes Love Me!

Mosquitoes

Stupid Mosquitoes!

I did some yard work.

I remembered the sunscreen.

But I forgot the bug spray.

If my life’s ambition had been to nourish and provide for the entire population of mosquitoes in North Texas, I would be content right now.

However, that has never been my life’s ambition.

Not even close.

Instead of being satisfied, I am itchy.

And scratchy.

And covered in sticky green aloe vera gel.

I’m horrified to realize that I most certainly have contributed to the health and wellbeing of the burgeoning summer bug population.

Stupid mosquitoes.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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Categories
Family

A Boy Mom Is Required To Say Some Weird Stuff

Boy Mom

I’m A Boy Mom

I pan fried a couple of steaks.

They turned out very tasty.

But the kitchen filled with smoke.

I had to open up the back door to clear the air.

The open door let in about a billion flies.

Luckily, the Grown Son is quite handy with a fly swatter.

It was actually kind of impressive.

All I ever do is scatter the flies around.

I never actually smash one.

The Grown Son proudly deposited each dead bug onto a napkin so that he could keep count.

It was gross, but it was effective, so I couldn’t complain.

I made him throw the mess in the garbage.

He can take a picture if he wants a memento.

“We’re not keeping the dead flies,” I informed him.

After all these years of being a boy mom, this isn’t even close to the weirdest thing I’ve ever said.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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