Home, Humor, Lifestyle, quarantine

My Inciting Incident


I’m not hoarding.

I am trying to plan my groceries so I don’t have to go to the store so often.

I’m trying to stay ahead of the shopping.

My family is oblivious to my efforts.

This is why we have three opened jars of salsa.

Two opened bags of English muffins.

And several opened packages of cheese.

In the interest of not having to lift a finger, they put empty boxes back in the pantry.

And dishes with one bite remaining back in the fridge.

I may have found my new inciting incident.
Standard
Humor, Lifestyle, quarantine

Yoga Pants


I knew I shouldn’t have worn those threadbare yoga pants to work.

They split right in the middle of a meeting.

Luckily I was on Zoom.

No one noticed.

After the meeting, I took the Walk of Shame across the house.

I changed into yet another threadbare pair of yoga pants.

I might as well wreck them all during the quarantine.

I’ll save the good yoga pants for the post-quarantine Zoom meetings.
Standard
Family, Home, Humor, Lifestyle, quarantine

Housekeeping Standards


I had words with the Grown Son about housekeeping standards.

He shared his own wise household hints with me.

His short stint in a bachelor apartment has made him an expert.

I very politely reminded him that he is in my home.

And we will be keeping house up to my standards.

I may have been slightly more harsh than “very polite.”

We reached an amicable compromise.

We’ll do it my way.
Standard
Family, Home, Lifestyle, Mostly True Memoirs

I Washed the Kitchen Floor


I washed the kitchen floor.

I told the family to stay off of it for half an hour.

You would have thought their world had come to an end.

Keep in mind it was 10:30 in the morning.

And everyone had already eaten breakfast.

Please say a prayer for my family during this very difficult time in their lives.
Standard
Home, Humor, Lifestyle, quarantine

It’s National Egg Salad Week

It is National Egg Salad Week.

I can’t think of a more revolting food to celebrate.

It is also Free Cone Day at Ben and Jerry’s.

But that’s been postponed.

For obvious reasons.

On this day in history, the Titanic hit the infamous iceberg.

And the hits just keep on coming.

Oh, but it’s also National Gardening Day.

And Bob is building me a raised garden bed.

I knew I could find something good about today!
Standard