Tag: funny

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Lifestyle Work

I Found Myself on the Brink of Inappropriate

Illustration of a crab wearing a cowboy hat used to represent an inappropriate moment turned humorous in an online middle school classroom.
Illustration of a crab wearing a cowboy hat used to represent an inappropriate moment turned humorous in an online middle school classroom.

I teach middle school online.

At the end of every class, we spend the last 30 seconds on scribble time.

Everyone gets to scribble on the screen.

On the one hand, it’s stupid.

On the other hand, the kids love it.

And in an online classroom, that kind of joy matters.

Scribble time is a tiny but powerful way of building community online.

Today, during scribble time, one student announced,

“I want to talk about Jeffrey.”

“Jeffrey Dahmer?” another kid piped up.

Oh no.

We are NOT discussing Jeffrey Dahmer.

I’m not going to explain  Dahmer to the kids who don’t know.

That inappropriate topic is way above my pay grade.

I was one second away from closing down an inappropriate session when the student held Jeffrey up to the camera.

Jeffrey was a 3D-printed crab.

Wearing a cowboy hat.

Whew.

Jeffrey the Crab I can handle.

A conversation about 3D printing?

Absolutely within my pay grade.

But the kid who immediately jumped to Jeffrey Dahmer?

Yeah.

I’m keeping my eye on that one.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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Categories
Lifestyle

False Alarm! This One Might Be Worth The Fine

False Alarm

False Alarm

False Alarm!

I went to the library.

There was a huge crowd outside.

The fire alarm was going off, and the building was being evacuated.

The librarian assured everyone that it was a false alarm.

A small child had pulled the knob.

However, I heard sirens in the distance.

Apparently the fire department had to come and turn the alarm off.

They also had to inspect the building to verify that there really was no fire.

After an eternity of very, very, very loud noises, they were ready to turn off the alarm.

But no one had the proper key.

After they found the key, they discovered that no one had the password.

I thought it was funny.

The librarian was not amused.

The firefighters were not amused.

The father of the little boy was really not amused.

The kid was only about two or three, and he was bawling.

The firefighters were kind to him and gave him some stickers.

I hope the family doesn’t get fined.

But even if they do, the kid’s wedding speech is practically writing itself.

This false alarm might be worth the fine.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

About Me

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Categories
Work

How To Be Funnier With This One Technique

How To Be Funnier

How To Be Funnier

How To Be Funnier

You can learn how to be funnier.

I’ve given this lesson many times.

I’ve taught it to my public speaking classes.

I’ve taught it to my ESL classes.

I’ve even given this presentation to my Toastmasters clubs.

This lesson is always a ton of fun.

A joke has three parts.

The setup, the pause, and the punchline.

Most people think that the punchline is the most important part of the joke.

But it’s not.

The pause is the most important part of the joke.

Without the pause, you sound like a six-year-old who has just discovered riddles.

Whydidthechickencrosstheroadtogettotheothersidebwahahaha

It’s not funny.

Try it this way:

First deliver the setup.

Next, pause and count to three.

After the pause, deliver the punchline.

The pause makes the punchline that much funnier.

Try practicing this technique with the chicken-crossing-the-road joke.

Pausing is hard because it feels awkward to be silent when people are looking at you.

But if you can master that pause, your jokes will be so much more effective.

You will learn how to be funnier.

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Toastmasters

We Dodged a Bullet

We Dodged A Bullet

We Dodged A Bullet

I won best table topics at Toastmasters last night.

I spoke about getting “that call” from the school.

My class-clown child generated an awful lot of those calls back in the day.

In this particular case, it was a hilarious misunderstanding.

The teacher thought it was funny.

Whew – we dodged a bullet!