Tag: rescue dog

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Dog

No Regrets, No Morals, No Confession – It’s A Mystery

No regrets

No regrets

No Regrets

No regrets.

I made some ham and cheese sliders.

I ate two.

The Grown Son, on his way out the door, grabbed a few as well.

I got a phone call.

When my call was done, I went to wrap up the sandwiches to save for the rest of the family.

There were none.

What?

If I had two, and the Grown Son grabbed maybe three or four, there should be a whole lot left over.

The suspect?

A very large, very hairy, four-legged thief.

Who has no morals and no regrets.

And who loves to counter surf.

Blue denied everything, of course.

However, her claims of innocence were accompanied by lots of tail wagging and an ecstatic grin.

In the morning, she didn’t want her breakfast.

I’m certain her belly continued to be quite full of ham and cheese sliders.

She’s still not talking.

I’m still suspicious.

The mystery deepens…

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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Dog

My Dog Is Always Happy – She Gets A Five-Star Rating

Always Happy

Always Happy

My Dog Is Always Happy

My book club read The Anthropocene Reviewed.

It’s a collection of essays about life in the modern world.

The author ends each topic with a star rating, similar to Yelp.

We discussed the rating system, and agreed, as a group, that a five-star rating is ridiculous.

It indicates perfection.

And nothing is perfect.

Except, I suggested, for dogs.

Dogs are perfect.

My Blue is always happy, always eager, always in a good mood.

She is pure, sweet joy.

Everyone laughed and agreed that dogs certainly do deserve five stars.

Except for one lady who doesn’t like dogs.

That’s OK.

She’s entitled to her opinion.

Even if it’s wrong.

I’ll give her one star.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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Dog

Happy National Dog Day To The Best Dog Ever!

Happy National Dog Day

Happy National Dog Day

National Dog Day

Happy National Dog Day!

It’s a perfect day to celebrate Blue.

She is the happiest dog ever.

It doesn’t matter what’s happening – she’s happy.

Dinner?  

Happy.

Belly rub?

Happy.

Car ride?

Happy.

Walk?

Happy.

Fetch?

Happy.

Sprinklers?

Happy.

She is the best dog ever.

Except, of course, for Wrigley.

She was the best dog ever.

As was Schatzi.

And Dave.

They were all the best dogs ever.

Which makes no sense.

Unless you’ve had dogs.

IYKYK.

Happy National Dog Day!

Liz Brenner

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Especially you.

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Lifestyle

What Is The Word For Those Plastic Ties?

Plastic Ties

Those Plastic Ties

I’m going to lose sleep over those plastic ties.  

I bought some socks today.  

They were on sale at the grocery store.  

Blue is a sock thief so I need to keep replenishing my supply.  

When I got home and opened up the package, I was shocked.  

There were a zillion plastic ties, randomly inserted between different socks.

Curious, I Googled what is the name of those things.  

No one seems to know.  

Reddit didn’t know, ChatGPT didn’t know, Google didn’t know.  

I kept getting “sock hangers” as the answer.  

But these aren’t sock hangers.  

I’m talking about the plastic string with perpendicular plastic tabs.

You can’t get them off without scissors, otherwise you’ll tear the socks.

But they’re in there so tight that you might cut the socks with the scissors.

This store really, really, really didn’t want anyone to steal those socks.

There were lots and lots and lots of these annoying plastic strings to cut.

Maybe Nordstrom should start using these security thingies to stop the smash and grabs.

I now have a few pairs of matching socks that, with any luck, will last me a couple of days before Blue gets ahold of them.

If anyone knows the name of those plastic security thingies, please let me know.

I’m going to lose sleep wondering about it.

Liz Brenner

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Dog

Why I Need To Pay Attention To My Own Advice

Pay Attention

Pay Attention!

It was all my fault.

I knew it could happen.

In fact, I’ve warned my family about this very thing.

But I didn’t pay attention.

And it happened.

Blue got carsick.

All over my back seat.

When the windows are open, she does just fine.

I forgot to open the windows.

It wasn’t my intention to spend a sweltering hot afternoon detailing my car.

But that’s what I did.

The car was dirty and needed cleaning anyway.

So it wasn’t a total loss.

But to add insult to injury, I got an ant bite.

Actually, I got a cluster of five ant bites.

And now I’ve got a three-inch-wide welt going all the way around  my ankle.

Stupid ants.

Next time I’ll pay attention.

I’ll open the windows for Blue.

Liz Brenner

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Especially you.

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Dog

Trust Issues – It’s Why Blue Dawg Stayed On The Leash

Trust

Trust

Trust Issues

I have trust issues.

We had friends over to BBQ.

I kept Blue on a leash connected to my belt loop with a D-ring.

She is a very naughty girl.

I don’t trust her.

Not for one second.

Not while steak is within reach.

Since we’ve resumed training, she’s become quite well behaved.

On the leash, she heeled and sat and didn’t bark at all.

She tried to convince me that since she was such a good girl, I could take the leash off.

Ha!

No way.

There was food everywhere.

There were people everywhere.

There were dishes everywhere.

Nope.

Blue has a reputation for eating anything she can get her hands on.

Or snout.

Whatever.

She has no morals and no regrets.

And I have trust issues.

The leash stayed on.

Liz Brenner

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Dog

Why It’s Important To Teach Your Dog To Heel

Heel

Heel

Teach Your Dog To Heel

Heel!

I’ve got Blue in a dog training class.

She’s very smart, and she’s very eager to please.

At our last session, we worked on “heel.”

One lady took her dog and left class.

She thought that this lesson was boring.

Seriously?

It’s the most fundamental thing to teach.

Once the dog learns to heel, all the other commands fall into place.

Plus, heeling makes walks more fun because the dog doesn’t pull.

It’s a huge loss if she doesn’t learn this thing.

During our dog class, a rabbit wandered by.

It was either a very stupid rabbit or a very brave rabbit.

All the dogs went nuts.

The rabbit, either very stupid or very brave, lived, thanks to the very skilled dog trainer.

It was a teachable moment.

Heel!

Liz Brenner

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Dog

Karma’s a B**ch! I Learned It The Hard Way Today.

Karma's A B**ch

Karma's A B**ch

Karma’s A B**ch!

Karma’s a b**ch.

I probably shouldn’t have laughed at the Grown Son.

The payback was brutal.

This time, Blue got sick all over my office.

By the time I found the mess this morning, the stench was unbearable.

It must have been brewing all night.

Blue, meanwhile, was happy as a lark.

No regrets.

We skipped her obedience class today.

I didn’t want her getting sick in my car.

Or passing her germs on to other dogs.

Are my priorities wrong?

Should I have put the other dogs’ health first, before the car?

She’s gotten carsick before, and believe me, I don’t want a repeat of that.

At any rate, she’s staying home.

My office has been cleaned and sanitized.

The windows are open, the fans are on.

The Grown Son thinks this whole episode is hilarious.

Karma’s such a b**ch.

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Lifestyle

That Spongebob Song About The Best Day Ever

That Spongebob Song

That Spongebob Song

That Spongebob Song

It’s the best day ever!

Spongebob sang it, so it’s gotta be true.

Today is National Puppy Day.

What could be better than National Puppy Day?

Today is also National Tamale Day.

And it’s also National Chip and Dip Day.

All these wonderful things on the same day?

It doesn’t get much better than this.

It’s also National Near Miss Day.

Seriously?

Come on – don’t rain on my puppy, tamale, and chip and dip parade.

I’ve got that annoying Spongebob song going through my head now.

Maybe that song is my near miss.

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Dog

It Was Awful, But My Happy Dog Has No Regrets

No regrets

No Regrets

No Regrets

The ice is starting to melt outside.

We let Blue out for her morning romp.

She returned inside, covered in mud.

Absolutely covered, from head to toe.

It was awful.

She’s in bad need of a grooming, but I put it off so she would have a thick, warm coat for the cold weather.

Now she has a thick, muddy, matted coat.

The weather is still really cold, so we couldn’t hose her off outside.

We had to put her in the bathtub.

It was awful.

Mud was everywhere.

It was like a mud blender went off, without the lid.

Blue had a blast.

She loved the warm water.

She basked in all of the attention.

She has absolutely no regrets.

Not a care in the world.

She’d do it again in a heartbeat, if we let her.

We won’t let her.

She’s going to the groomer next week.

After we dry out.

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