Tag: story

Categories
Family

His Ringtone Volume Is Way Too Loud!

His Ringtone Volume

His Ringtone Volume

His Ringtone Volume Is Too Loud!

My darling husband keeps his ringtone volume on high.

And his phone rings constantly.

All day long.

I swear, I have a heart attack every time that freaking alarm goes off.

I have asked him to turn it down.

After all, his phone is always with him.

It doesn’t need to be so loud.

He doesn’t even need sound at all.

It could stay on vibrate and he wouldn’t miss a call.

Sometimes I sneak in and turn it down.

He always turns it back up.

Today he got tired of my complaining.

He made an adjustment.

Now his phone quacks instead of rings.

Still at full volume.

Whatever happens next, I swear, it will be justified.

Categories
Lifestyle

Murder is Super Illegal

Murder Is Super Illegal

Murder is Super Illegal

Someone said that it’s a shame that murder is super illegal.

I have to disagree.

I think it’s a very good thing that murder is super illegal.

It’s a deterrent.

I wouldn’t do well in prison.

It would be too people-y.

What if I didn’t get along with my roommate?

I doubt that the bedding would be clean enough.

And don’t get me started on the lack of fresh produce at mealtime.

Yep, I think it’s a very good thing that murder is super illegal.

Y’all can sleep well tonight knowing that I have been sufficiently deterred.

Categories
Family

Lesson Learned

Lesson Learned

Lesson Learned

As I was leaving for the grocery store, I asked the Grown Son to pull the trash cans in.

He complained that he has to do everything around here.

He slammed the door and ignored my request.

And then he texted me a list of things to buy for him.

I left him on read.

After several more texting attempts, he had an epiphany.

He sent me a pic of the cans that he had put away.

I added his items to my cart.

Lesson learned.

Hopefully.

Categories
Lifestyle

I Was Putting Away the Folded Laundry

folded laundry

Folded Laundry

I was putting away the folded laundry.

I held it in my arms instead of a laundry basket.

All my laundry baskets have disappeared since both boys have moved back home.

I wasn’t wearing my glasses.

And I couldn’t hit the light switch because my hands were full.

I tried to make my way blind and in the dark.

I tried, but I failed.

I dropped all of the folded laundry.

And then I tripped over the pile.

So yeah, that’s how my day is starting out.

If anyone needs me, I’ll be day drinking and cursing.