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Lifestyle

This Is Why I Need To Pay Attention

Pay Attention!

Pay Attention!

I need to pay attention.

It was entirely my fault.

The Grown Son has a right to be mad.

We live on a triangle-shaped lot.

Which means we have a big back yard.

And absolutely no parking in front.

Every night we have to tetris the cars into the driveway.

My car is the smallest, so it’s always blocked.

Someone has to move their car so I can get out.

Yesterday morning, I wanted to go to the gym.

But I didn’t want to wake up the Grown Son too early.

I waited until 9:00.

He grumbled and complained, but he got up to move his car.

Only to discover that it wasn’t his car blocking mine.

It was his brother’s car.

He was furious that I had woken him up for no reason.

I was furious because the other son had been awake for hours, and I could have been to the gym and back by this time.

If only I had been paying attention.

Now I’m doing the Grown Son’s laundry.

To atone for my sin of waking him up too early on a Sunday morning.

I guess that’s fair.

Next time I’ll pay attention.

Liz Brenner

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Categories
Lifestyle

My Swan Song for 2020

My Swan Song

The sh**show that is 2020 just keeps on giving.

I did a load of wash with some Kleenex in a pocket.

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the backyard, plucking thousands and thousands of Kleenex shards off of all of the clothes.

And cursing.

With any luck, this will be my swan song for 2020.

Categories
Lifestyle

I Was Putting Away the Folded Laundry

Folded Laundry

I was putting away the folded laundry.

I held it in my arms instead of a laundry basket.

All my laundry baskets have disappeared since both boys have moved back home.

I wasn’t wearing my glasses.

And I couldn’t hit the light switch because my hands were full.

I tried to make my way blind and in the dark.

I tried, but I failed.

I dropped all of the folded laundry.

And then I tripped over the pile.

So yeah, that’s how my day is starting out.

If anyone needs me, I’ll be day drinking and cursing.