Tag: lifestyle

Categories
Family

Random Acts of Mild Aggravation

Mild Aggravation

Mild Aggravation

The Grown Son was insulted that I criticized the housekeeping standards of his truck.

He began a revenge campaign of Random Acts of Mild Aggravation.

He moved the cereal to a different pantry shelf.

He left several cabinet doors open.

He fiddled with the knobs on the dryer.

I laughed and laughed and laughed.

In college, we did the exact same thing to one of our roommates.

We didn’t take anything, and we didn’t break anything.

We simply “adjusted” everything in her room.

She wasn’t amused.

In fact, she was quite angry.

That roommate will be pleased to know that Karma has finally caught up with me.

She won’t be so pleased to know that I still think it’s funny.

Categories
Lifestyle

Today I Swept the Leaves

Leaves

Leaves

Today I swept the leaves off the front porch.

Then the wind picked up.

And deposited a brand new mess in its place.

Maybe I should consider living in squalor.

It would certainly be a more efficient method of keeping house.

Categories
Lifestyle

Groundhog Day

Groundhog Day

Groundhog Day

The groundhog called it.

Six more weeks of winter.

Well, I guess I don’t mind six more weeks of 60 and sunny.

Yeah, I’m game.

Good call, groundhog, good call.

Categories
Family

I Knew I Shouldn’t Have Eaten Them

I Shouldn't Have

I Shouldn't Have

I knew I shouldn’t have eaten them.

The Caramel Delight Girl Scout cookies.

Chocolate gives me a migraine.

But they were calling my name.

Like a siren song.

They lured me in.

And they were so delicious.

And coconut-y.

And caramel-y.

And chocolate-y.

Now I have a raging headache.

Have I learned any valuable life lessons from this experience?

No.

No, I have not.

Categories
Lifestyle

Chicken and Dumplings

Chicken and Dumplings

Chicken and Dumplings

Today was a great day for comfort food.

It was a cold and gray and unsettled day.

I made a big pot of chicken and dumplings.

It didn’t solve any of the world’s problems.

But it was hot and delicious and comforting.

As Baby Bear would say, “It’s just right.”

Categories
Lifestyle

National Nachos Day

National Nachos Day

National Nachos Day

I just now learned that today is National Nachos Day.

Seriously?

I already had my dinner.

Why didn’t I know about this before I ate?

I know, I know, I am a grownup and I can eat nachos any time I want.

But I would have liked to have been invited to the party.

I have been holding up well this entire terrible year.

But this is the last straw.

Now I think I need to rage eat a second dinner.

I would, if only I had a more youthful metabolism.

Sigh.

National Nachos Day.

It’s going on the calendar for next year.

Categories
Dog Family

The Puppy Chewed Them Up

The Puppy Chewed Them Up

The Puppy Chewed Them Up

I once had a pair of shoes that I loved.

And then the puppy chewed them up.

Actually, he only chewed up the left one.

But the right one was rendered useless because one good shoe is of no use to me.

I threw the shoes in the garbage.

Later, I found them in my closet.

“Where did these come from?” I asked The Husband.

“I found them in the trash. They’re perfectly good. Why did you throw them out?”

I showed him the wrecked shoe.

And I threw them out again.

When we moved to Texas and I was unpacking a box, I found the shoes.

Again.

“Where did these come from?” I asked The Husband.

We proceeded to repeat our previous conversation.

Although he denied that we ever had ever spoken on this topic before.

I threw the shoes out again.

Today, much to my surprise, I found the shoes lined up neatly by the back door.

“Where did these come from?” I asked The Husband.

We proceeded to repeat the now-well-rehearsed conversation.

And he proceeded to deny, again, that we had ever spoken on this topic before.

I threw the shoes out again.

What do you want to bet that, like a bad penny, these shoes will show up again?

Categories
Family

Of Course He Can’t Find It

Of course he can't find it

Of course he can't find it

“Do we have any mayo?” The Husband shouted from the kitchen.

“Yes, I just bought some,” I hollered back.

“Where is it?”

“If it’s not in the pantry, then it’s in the fridge.”

“I can’t find it.”

I sighed.

Of course he can’t find it.

I grumbled under my breath and trudged into the kitchen to find it.

He knows the drill.

If I find the thing in five seconds, I get to punch him as hard as I can.

He’s lucky that I’m all talk and no action.

So far.

Categories
Family

I Was Having a Moment

I was having a moment

I was having a moment

The Grown Sons complained bitterly because I was doing noisy housework at 9:00 am on a Sunday.

I patiently explained that I had been awake since 5:00, but I refrained from making noise until a decent hour.

They continued to complain bitterly.

I gave them some wise, motherly counsel.

I don’t remember my exact words.

They were something like:

“Watch your mouth.”

“Quit your bellyaching.”

“You freeloading slackers.”

Neither of them, by the way, are freeloading, nor are they slackers.

But I was having a moment, and it just slipped out.

At any rate, the house is clean.

But the family is cranky.

It’s another Pleasant Valley Sunday.

Categories
Family

I Swear It Was Justified

It was justified

It was justified

Bob got up very early this morning to do some yard work.

In the middle of his work, he asked me to make him something to eat.

Bob is perfectly capable of making his own food.

However, he was wet and muddy and too dirty to come into the house.

I made him a fried egg sandwich.

He stood at the back door the entire time, back-seat egging me.

I swear, I’ll tell the judge, I swear it was justified