Categories
family storytelling

The Snooze Button

the snooze button

I don’t like the snooze button.

The few times I tried it, I was crippled with anxiety, waiting for the alarm to startle me again.

How in the world can someone go back to sleep under those conditions?

Apparently my kid can.

His bedroom is right next to my home office, and every morning (or afternoon, depending on his schedule) the snooze button goes off every nine minutes for what seems like hours.

He denies it.

But he’s asleep, so who are you going to believe?

This morning his alarm started going off at 7:00 am.

It continued every nine minutes.

At 8:00 I needed to go out, but his car was blocking mine.

Since he’d been trying to get up for an hour anyway, I woke him up to move his car.

He was angry that I woke him up so early.

Whatever…

Categories
family storytelling

A Fresh New Level of Hell

A fresh new level of hell

A FRESH NEW LEVEL OF HELL

They don’t tell you, when your child is first diagnosed with type one diabetes, that the worst is yet to come.

When the boys were minors, I had the situation under control.

I was in charge.

I monitored the insulin, the blood sugar, the diet, the pharmacy, the insurance, the doctor appointments.

Now I need to hand over the reins.

“Don’t you have an endo appointment this week?” I asked the Grown Son.

“Don’t worry about it,” was the blow-off I received.

“But – ”

“I’ve got it covered. Stop treating me like a child.”

Well OK then.

A few days later he sheepishly confessed that he had missed his appointment.

He forgot all about it.

I told him that he would be responsible for the no-show fee.

I made him call the doctor’s office himself to apologize and to reschedule the visit.

“When is your new appointment?” I asked him.

“Don’t worry about it. I’ve got it covered,” he blustered.

And around we go.

I am completely unprepared for this fresh new level of diabetes-mom hell.

Categories
family storytelling

Netflix and Chill

Netflix and chill

NETFLIX AND CHILL

Bob was painting the back door.

At 7:00 pm, it was still not dry enough to hang the door back up.

The temperature had dropped significantly, as it does in January.

The house felt like Siberia.

I had no choice.

I had to go to bed.

I piled on several dozen blankets, and then I wrapped myself up in a weighted blanket.

Like a burrito.

I planned to watch some TV.

Instead, I fell asleep.

I woke up at 10:30 fully refreshed and also fully annoyed.

This is not what I expected from Netflix and chill.

Categories
family storytelling

Rats – Ewww

Rats - ewww

RATS – EWWW

It’s pouring rain today, and it’s expected to rain all night.

I guess we won’t have our NYE bonfire after all.

Which may be just as well.

Bob said, at our last bonfire, that he saw a rat in the woodpile on the corner of our property.

Say what?

A rat?

That’s it, I’m leaving home.

I’m outta here.

Bob laughed and said there is always a rat in any woodpile.

Yeah, nah, I’ll pass.

That Hell Hole has just gotten a whole lot Hell Hole-ier.

Rats – ewww.

Categories
humor lifestyle writing

Spelling is Important

Spelling is important

SPELLING IS IMPORTANT

My neighbor just posted a notice that they are missing their dog bowels.

They had been on the front porch, but now they are gone.

Has anyone seen their dog bowels?

Oh goodness.

I do want to be neighborly, but I really don’t want anything to do with their dog bowels.

Sigh…

Spelling is important.

Proofread, people.

Please proofread.

Categories
Mostly True Memoirs

National Slap Your Annoying Coworker Day

National Slap Your Annoying Coworker Day

NATIONAL SLAP YOUR ANNOYING COWORKER DAY

Today, October 23, is National Slap Your Annoying Coworker Day.

I saw it online so it has to be true.

What a great concept!

Unfortunately, I work alone.

Big sigh.

I’m feeling the FOMO now.

Categories
Mostly True Memoirs

A New Tradition

A new tradition

A NEW TRADITION

The Grown Son has a new tradition.

Every weekend he sets up all the TVs in the living room.

So he can watch All The Games.

At once.

It’s a nice arrangement.

With a little Buffalo chicken dip and some guacamole, it’s like a sports bar.

But with pajamas.

The only problem is the extension cords that are set up across the doorway.

Me:  You have to move these. I’m going to fall on my face.

Grown Son: *Eyes glued to the TV* So be more careful.

Me: *Tripping again* *That’s not gonna happen.*

I need a new approach.

Me: When I go down, I’m taking all these TVs with me.

Grown Son: *Immediately gets up and moves the extension cords to a safer location.*

Me: *Smug* *I won.*