Categories
Writing Your Life Story

Why I Didn’t Get A New Pair of Flip FLops

Flip Flops

It’s mid-May.

The weather is warming up.

Summer’s almost here.

And every store has flip flops on display.

I saw some I liked.

On sale.

In several different colors.

I would have bought a pair or two.

But…

Yes, there’s a “but” in this story.

A big but.

The size 10s were on the bottom rack.

And the size 5s were WAAAAAY up high.

Seriously?

Anyone wearing a size 10 could easily reach the top shelf.

But someone wearing a size 5?

Not so much.

At the end of the season, they’re going to wonder why the smaller sizes didn’t sell.

Maybe they’ll stop carrying small sizes altogether because “there’s no demand.”

Well duh.

They should put the big sizes on the top shelves.

And keep the small sizes down low where people like me can actually reach them.

Otherwise, in drug stores across the country, you’ll see petite women staring longingly at flip flops that they cannot buy.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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Categories
Dog Writing Your Life Story

Why A Dog Barking Caused Pre-Dawn Panic

All. Night. Long. The Story of a Dog Barking.

All. Night. Long.

A dog was barking.

I was exhausted. Irritated. Sleep deprived.

At 5:00 a.m., I had a horrifying thought…

Where’s Blue?

What if it’s MY dog?

What if I’ve been the cause of the all-night mayhem?

Cue panic.

Cue guilt.

Cue me sprinting to the back door like a terrible pet owner in a redemption arc.

I whistled.

Blue came cheerfully trotting in…

from another room in the house.

Not my dog barking.

Whew!

Instant relief.
Total forgiveness.
Inner peace.

…although at 10:00 a.m. that freaking dog was STILL barking.

My compassion comes with a very limited warranty.

Your move. What’s your version of the barking dog?

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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Categories
Writing Your Life Story

Why I Got Carded, And Why It Made Me Happy

I Got Carded

It’s been years.

But today I got carded.

Someone actually asked to see my ID.

They couldn’t believe I was of age.

Well… not that kind of “of age.”

They were making sure I qualified for the senior discount.

It was still flattering.

Sort of.

The clerk was a teenager. With braces.

But still… I got carded.

I haven’t been carded in years.

Apparently, I’ve finally reached that magical age.

The one where you need proof that you’re old enough…

Again.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

This post might include affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a small commission from the seller at no cost to you.

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Categories
Communication Lessons

Poker: Now I Get It!

Poker:  Apparently Strategy Matters

It only took me an entire lifetime to understand poker.

It’s been explained to me before.

But it all went right over my head.

Again and again and again.

It took an explanation from someone who spoke to me like I was an idiot.

On second thought… someone who recognized my profound idiocy and kindly explained things in terms I could understand.

I’m talking about poker.

Oh, I’ve always understood the game.

It’s the gambling that confused me.

At a recent game night, someone explained the roles of the Big Blind and the Little Blind.

And suddenly the whole thing fell into place.

Of course!

I cleaned up that night.

Seriously – I’ve got a lifetime of catching up to do.

Unfortunately, we weren’t playing for money.

All I really won was a huge pile of chips and some bragging rights.

But hey.

I’ve got a lot of bragging to catch up on.

Poker night?

Bring it on.

Next time… let’s play for money.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

This post might include affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a small commission from the seller at no cost to you.

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Categories
Lifestyle Work

A Writing Workbook You Will Love!

Writing workbooks coming soon

I know. I know. I KNOW.

I’ve been quiet.

No new blog posts.
No fresh stories.
No flash fiction.

And apparently that has people wondering if I’m okay.

I’m okay.

I’m just… full.

Booked.
Scheduled.
Overflowing.

So much so that I’ve had to close enrollment in my writing workshops.

That’s the good news.

And the hard news.


Why My Writing Workshops Are Full

My workshops have always been conversation-driven.

Real people.
Real stories.
Real courage.

That’s where the magic happens.

Someone says, “I’ve never told anyone this before…”
And then they do.

Every new voice changes the room.
Every perspective deepens the learning.

But a workshop can only hold so many people.

And lately, there’s simply been no more room at the table.

It’s a wonderful problem.

But it means some of you are waiting outside the door.

I don’t like that.


Why I’m Creating a Writing Workbook

So here’s what’s happening behind the scenes:

I’m building a writing workbook series..

Not a watered-down version of a workshop.
Not a fluffy PDF.

A real, structured, step-by-step guide built on the same philosophy I teach live:

Keep it simple.
One idea at a time.
Clear beats clever.
Anyone can learn to write well.

Because I believe that.

Truly.


What Makes This Writing Workbook Different

A workbook can’t replicate conversation.

It can’t raise its hand.
It can’t laugh at the right moment.
It can’t gently ask, “What do you really mean here?”

But it can give you structure.

It can give you prompts.
It can give you rhythm.
It can give you focus.

If you’ve ever felt intimidated by writing, or if you’ve started and stopped more times than you can count, this is built for you.

This is for the beginner.

The hesitant writer.

The thoughtful overthinker.


Can a Writing Workbook Replace a Workshop?

No.

And it’s not meant to.

Workshops are alive. They breathe. They’re interactive.

But a writing workbook can open the door.

It can prepare you.

It can build confidence.

It can help you discover that you are more capable than you think.

And when space opens in a workshop?

You’ll be ready.


Who This Writing Workbook Is For

It’s for the person who didn’t get a seat.

It’s for the person who isn’t quite ready to speak up in a group.

It’s for the person who has a story but doesn’t know where to begin.

It’s for anyone who wants clarity instead of complexity.

Because writing doesn’t have to be complicated.


When the Writing Workbook Will Be Available

It’s not ready yet.

Good work takes time.

But it’s coming.

And when it’s ready, I won’t make a huge splash.

I’ll just quietly open the door.

If you’d like to be the first to know when the writing workbook for beginners is released, make sure you’re subscribed and keep an eye on this space.

Seats may fill.

But the page is wide open.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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Categories
Dog Lifestyle

Is She Really Qualified To Be A Watchdog?

Is She Really Qualified to be a Watchdog?

Blue is a very good watchdog.

She barks at Amazon deliveries.
She barks at the neighbors’ carpools.
She barks at Mittens the Cat.

But somehow she missed the butter thief.

I had a stick of butter on the kitchen counter.

And then, all of a sudden, it was gone.

Wrapper and all.

Blue claims to know nothing about it.

On an entirely unrelated note, someone dumped the kitchen trash.

Blue, again, claims to know nothing about this suspicious turn of events.

She is excellent at monitoring external threats.

But internal investigations?
Not so much.

Currently, Blue has been placed on administrative leave.

Unpaid.

But with snacks.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

This post might include affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a small commission from the seller at no cost to you.

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Categories
Lifestyle Work

I Found Myself on the Brink of Inappropriate

Illustration of a crab wearing a cowboy hat used to represent an inappropriate  moment turned humorous in an online middle school classroom.

I teach middle school online.

At the end of every class, we spend the last 30 seconds on scribble time.

Everyone gets to scribble on the screen.

On the one hand, it’s stupid.

On the other hand, the kids love it.

And in an online classroom, that kind of joy matters.

Scribble time is a tiny but powerful way of building community online.

Today, during scribble time, one student announced,

“I want to talk about Jeffrey.”

“Jeffrey Dahmer?” another kid piped up.

Oh no.

We are NOT discussing Jeffrey Dahmer.

I’m not going to explain  Dahmer to the kids who don’t know.

That inappropriate topic is way above my pay grade.

I was one second away from closing down an inappropriate session when the student held Jeffrey up to the camera.

Jeffrey was a 3D-printed crab.

Wearing a cowboy hat.

Whew.

Jeffrey the Crab I can handle.

A conversation about 3D printing?

Absolutely within my pay grade.

But the kid who immediately jumped to Jeffrey Dahmer?

Yeah.

I’m keeping my eye on that one.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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Categories
Lifestyle

How To Respond To Bad Cell Phone Etiquette

cell phone etiquette

People with bad cell phone etiquette in public are so annoying.

I was in the grocery store, in the produce department, and a young lady on her phone was blocking everywhere I wanted to be.

Every carrot.
Every apple.
Every bag of lettuce.

She was everywhere.
And she was in the way.

I finally gave up and decided to do the rest of my shopping.

I’ll come back to produce later, I thought.

Apparently, she had the same idea.

She followed me.

Still talking.
Still loud.
Still completely oblivious.
She was a textbook example of terrible cell phone etiquette .

And then…she crashed into me.

It was a full-on T-bone collision.
Cart to cart.

I wasn’t hurt.

But she didn’t know that.

She immediately dropped her phone and started apologizing like she’d just caused a five-car pileup.

And yes, I leaned into it.
I appeared faintly stunned.
Slightly fragile.
I gave a great possibly-injured-old-lady routine.

It worked beautifully.

She felt awful.

Thank goodness it was a shopping cart and not a car.

Maybe now she’ll think twice about cell phone etiquette in public.

Although… I doubt it.

Still, for one brief moment in the grocery store, cell phone etiquette made a comeback.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

This post might include affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a small commission from the seller at no cost to you.

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Categories
Dog Lifestyle

Why Counter Surfing Is Our New Holiday Tradition

Counter Surfing

I made an enormous dish of chicken cordon bleu.

It’s a fussy, time-consuming meal, so I only make it for special occasions.

And when I do make it, I make a HUGE batch with leftovers for days, maybe even some to freeze. I want to get as many meals as I can out of the effort.

Apparently, Blue didn’t get the memo.

Yes. You guessed it.

She ate the entire dish.

Well, almost. We did manage to eat one meal. So she ate everything minus one serving.

Sigh.

Wrigley never did anything like that.

Of course, Wrigley only weighed 25 pounds and couldn’t reach the counter. No opportunity. No temptation. No counter surfing.

Blue is huge.

She can reach the counter with all four paws still on the floor.

She’s learned that if she’s quiet and graceful about it, she might not get caught.

Might.

Because really, who else would eat an entire pan of food and lick the dish clean right after dinner while everyone else is sitting in the other room?

There was yelling.

There was blame.

There was a surprising amount of name-calling directed at the dog.

Blue showed no shame.
No remorse.
No regret.

This was a demonstration in expert-level counter surfing.

She will absolutely do it again.

It was yummy.

Sigh.

And now we wait.

Vomit is coming.

Small dogs rule.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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Categories
Lifestyle

It’s A Festivus Miracle!

Festivus

Happy Festivus!

Today is Festivus!

This week we had National Short Girl Day.

Today is Festivus.

We’ve already had Hanukkah.

Christmas, New Years, several family birthdays, and The Rose Bowl are coming up.

So many things to celebrate.

“…but who needs all that joy and cheer anyway?”

It’s a Festivus miracle!

“I’ve got a lot of problems with you people, and now you’re gonna hear about it!”

…and another piece of the puzzle falls into place.

And there it is.

Festivus shaped me.

Which explains an awful lot.

Happy Festivus!

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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