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Dog Lifestyle

Is She Really Qualified To Be A Watchdog?

Is She Really Qualified to be a Watchdog?

Blue is a very good watchdog.

She barks at Amazon deliveries.
She barks at the neighbors’ carpools.
She barks at Mittens the Cat.

But somehow she missed the butter thief.

I had a stick of butter on the kitchen counter.

And then, all of a sudden, it was gone.

Wrapper and all.

Blue claims to know nothing about it.

On an entirely unrelated note, someone dumped the kitchen trash.

Blue, again, claims to know nothing about this suspicious turn of events.

She is excellent at monitoring external threats.

But internal investigations?
Not so much.

Currently, Blue has been placed on administrative leave.

Unpaid.

But with snacks.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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Dog Lifestyle

Why Mittens Is Out For Revenge

Mittens

Mittens

The cat who lives across the street is named Mittens.

Mittens loves to preen in front of our front window.

It drives Blue Dawg insane.

Which is, of course, why Mittens does it.

She’ll groom and strut and stretch, pretending not to notice Blue going berserk, even though I can see those kitty ears twitching with every bark.

That cat knows exactly what she’s doing.

Last night, the Grown Son stopped by.

He could hear Blue barking before he even got the key in the door.

“Hold the dog!” he yelled, “There’s a cat out here!”

Sure enough, Mittens was parked on our front porch like she owned the place.

The Grown Son and I both held Blue back.

Mittens looked genuinely surprised.

She was annoyed by the interruption to her well-orchestrated bullying session.

With an angry flick of her tail, she flounced off into the night, greatly offended.

Blue Dawg: 1
Mittens: 0

Blue won this round.

But Mittens will be back.

Never underestimate the power of a kitty with a grudge.

Poor Blue, she doesn’t stand a chance.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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Dog Lifestyle

Why Blue Is The Best Dog Ever

Best Dog Ever!

Blue is the Best Dog Ever.

She’s the happiest girl in the world who literally leaps for joy every morning.

She has turned ‘fetch’ into a masterclass in keep-away.

And she’s the reason we keep barbells on our trashcan lids.

She’s taught me some essential life lessons:

Blue is a magnificent goofball who turns every day into a mud-splattered, tail-thumping, laugh-out-loud adventure.

Happy National Dog Day!

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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Dog Lifestyle

What In The World Were Those Suspicious Squeaks?

Suspicious squeaks

Playing fetch with Blue, to be honest, is less fetch and more keep-away.

She loves to taunt me with her toy, just out of reach, daring me to chase her.

Yup, she’s faster than me, and she knows it.

But today, fetch got interesting for a whole new reason.

This time of year, the grass is thick, springy, and unpredictable.

One wrong step and suddenly – squeaking.

Squeaking?

Multiple squeaks.

From under the lawn.

At first, I prayed it was just a long-lost dog toy.

But nope, Blue doesn’t get squeaky toys.

She shreds them in minutes.

Rope toys are safer.

The squeaks kept squeaking.

Which meant one thing: I’d stepped on a nest.

Rabbits? Maybe.

Mice? Possible.

Rats? Please, no.

Eww.

Just EWW.

And of course, I was wearing flip-flops.

The horror of possibly touching a rat in flip-flops is enough to launch boot season early this year.

From now on, Blue’s getting a full TSA-style pat-down before entering the house.

Sorry, Blue.

No exceptions.

Hopefully, my misstep encouraged the mystery critters to relocate.

But now I’m side-eyeing my backyard, suspicious.

Who else is living under my lawn?

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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Dog Lifestyle

A Bag is Better Than That Yellow Bucket

The Yellow Bucket

SPOILER ALERT: This Story Is Disgusting (And Hilarious)

Blue is a big dog.

And big dogs leave big piles of poo in the backyard.

Since we play fetch out there every day, I clean the yard daily.

I bag the mess and toss it straight into the garbage.

Bob has a different method.

Instead of using bags, he shovels the poo into a yellow bucket and then dumps the contents into the trash later.

I’ve never understood this system.

Why dirty up the bucket?

It’s just more poo in more places.

Needless to say, I never, ever, ever use that yellow bucket.

Not for gardening, not for cleaning, not for anything.

Because… well, poo.

The other day Bob discovered something horrifying in a corner of the yard.

The Yellow Bucket.

Forgotten.

Full of rainwater.

Sun-baked and steamy.

And, yes, still full of poo.

What he had on his hands was a steaming bucket of Poo Stew.

I didn’t say, “I told you so.”

I didn’t need to.

He was gagging too hard to hear me anyway.

Lesson learned (hopefully):

Use a bag.

And toss it immediately.

As for that yellow bucket?

Let’s just say it disappeared quietly on trash day.

No questions asked.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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Categories
Dog Work

Spoiler Alert – Blue Really IS The Best Dog Ever!

She really IS the best dog ever!

My dog Blue is the Best Dog Ever.

Except when the Grown Son is around.

Then she ignores me completely in favor of him.

The Grown Son thinks this is hilarious.

Our last dog Wrigley used to do the same thing.

She would ignore me completely whenever my sister was around.

Last night we were all hanging out on the street watching fireworks.

Blue was with us.

She never gets upset by the fireworks.

Wrigley used to freak out.

But Blue doesn’t care.

Or didn’t care.

Last night, for the first time, she got stressed.

She tried to hide under the cars.

I sat down next to her, and she snuggled close, panting, and hiding her head.

It was time, I decided, to put her back in the house.

The Grown Son tried to take her, but she wouldn’t leave my side.

Ha – now he knows what it feels like to be ignored by the Best Dog Ever!

Blue was very happy to be back in the house and away from the chaos.

And for the rest of the evening, she ignored me in favor of the Grown Son.

But I’m not in the least bit upset by this.

I hope every dog I ever have ignores me in favor of the Grown Sons.

She keeps them coming back.

Good girl, Blue, good girl.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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Dog Lifestyle

It Snowed, And Now We’re In A Winter Wonderland

It Snowed, and Now We're In A Winter Wonderland

It snowed, it snowed, it snowed!

Everyone is always so surprised when it snows here in North Texas.

But why should they be surprised?

It snows every year.

This was a gentle snowstorm with several inches of lovely white powder.

It’s a beautiful, powdery, winter wonderland.

Blue is in doggy heaven.

She has had the perpetual zoomies, running and jumping and romping in the snow.

With her curly hair, the snow clumps all over her body, and it won’t rub off with a towel.

I have to hair-dry her to melt the ice clumps off.

She does not appreciate the hair dryer.

But she does appreciate the iciclectomies.

I have enjoyed wearing boots and mittens and sweaters for the past couple of days.

But now the storm is over.

The weather will warm up over the weekend, and the snow will quickly melt away.

I’m fine with that.

I’ve had my fill of winter.

This Southern California girl can only take so much of the winter wonderland thing.

I’m ready for spring.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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Dog Lifestyle

Do You Love Black Dogs? Today’s Their Day!

Love black dogs?

I love black dogs!

October 1 is National Black Dog Day.

I never knew there was such a thing.

How could I have not known?

Blue is a black dog.

I should have been informed.

A few years ago, when we had Wrigley, I would not have celebrated Black Dog Day.

I would have celebrated Gray Dog Day.

Aww, Wrigley was the Best Dog Ever.

But now Blue is the Best Dog Ever.

And today is her day.

We’ll celebrate with a round of fetch in the backyard followed by a treat.

That’s actually no different than any other day.

I guess that means that every day is National Black Dog Day.

Yeah, I can live with that.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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The Best Dog Stuff According To Blue

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Dog Lifestyle

It’s A Miracle – I Took A Good Photo!

A Good Photo

Happy National Dog Day!

I have never, ever, ever taken a a good photo of Blue.

She’s all black, and she’s curly.

Most of my pictures are a dark, blobby swirl.

However, I got a great shot today.

Why?

Because I followed my friend Michelle Debenport’s photography advice!

I fooled around with the lighting settings on my phone.

I fooled around with the F-stop settings on my phone.

And, very importantly, I MOVED MY FEET and found a great perspective.

Not only that, I practiced selective sharing, which Michelle says is the easiest way to improve your photography.

I took lots and lots and lots of pics to get this one good one.

There are a whole lot of terrible shots on my phone, and several decent ones, and this one.

Selective sharing – it works!

The only thing I don’t like about this pic, which you wouldn’t even know about if you don’t know Blue, is that she’s annoyed.

She usually has a happy smile on her face, and her ears are always perked up and eager.

But she didn’t want to sit and stay with my phone in her face.

If you didn’t know her, though, you probably wouldn’t even notice that ‘tude.

Thanks, Michelle, for your amazing photography advice.

It’s a miracle – I took a good photo!

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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Dog Lifestyle

The Doggy Door Is Now Closed For Good

Doggy door

Blue is black.

Our sofas are black.

Quite often, we lose Blue in plain sight.

Sometimes we’re frantically looking for her, worried that she has gotten out of the yard.

She just watches us, amused, from her invisible perch.

That thumping, happy tail is what gives her location away.

The TV remote is also black.

It also gets lost in plain sight.

We have to frisk the couch, like they do to bad guys on cop shows, to find the remote.

So you can imagine that I was upset when I came home the other day to find Bob on one end of the house and the dog in the back yard, with the doggy door opened.

I had already declared the doggy door off limits since Blue brought in that dead rabbit.

Can you imagine sitting down and reaching around to move that lumpy thing from underneath yourself, thinking it’s a dog toy or the TV remote, only to find yourself elbow deep in a mangy dead rabbit?

Gaaaahhhhh!

Bob had the nerve to laugh.

And protest, because he thinks the doggy door is so convenient.

Too bad.

One dead rabbit in the house is more dead critters than I can tolerate.

So you can image that I was REALLY upset to come in to the house the next day to find Bob napping on the couch, and the doggy door open.

“But she had to go out,” he protested.

We had three dogs before Blue who did not have a doggy door.

We can manage without it.

I closed up the doggy door and sealed it with a much-more-than-necessary amount of blue painter tape.

Yes, I was sending a message.

Bob thought the entire episode was hilarious.

Until he went outside to do some yard work.

Blue immediately killed a rabbit.

And while Bob was cleaning that mess up, she killed another one.

Seriously, the rabbits kind of deserve it by now.

At this point, they should have warned each other not to come into our yard.

The doggy door is officially out of commission.

Those black couches mysteriously hide all sorts of secrets.

But I’m not about to let a bloody bunny carcass be one of those secrets.

The doggy door stays closed.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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