Tag: memoir

Categories
Family

Happy Birthday To You

Happy Birthday To You

Happy Birthday To You

Happy birthday, Peyton Manning.

We started the celebration early in the morning with Belgian waffles and bananas foster.

The party continued into the dinner hour.

With spaghetti and meatballs.

Everything was fresh and homemade.

Of course, there was a birthday cake for dessert.

Peyton never showed up.

That was kind of rude.

But luckily it was Bob’s birthday too.

The celebration didn’t go to waste.

We watched our favorite clip of Manning on SNL.

And spent the rest of the day quoting things like, “Loser,” and “You suck,” and “It’s not that f**king hard.”

The skit ended with “Spend time with your kids, so Peyton Manning doesn’t.”

Maybe next year, Peyton, maybe next year.

Categories
Lifestyle

That Is An Outright Lie

An Outright Lie

An Outright Lie

Socks.

Socks are the bane of my existence.

I hate socks.

Women’s socks are labeled as one-size-fits-all.

That is an outright lie.

The one-size-fits-all sock is never small enough nor snug enough.

In the girl’s department socks have sizes, but the large size is 4-10.

Which is the same as the one-size-fits-all sock.

The medium size is 10-2.

Excuse me?

There is an unaccounted-for size that wants to wear socks that fit.

Too-big socks create a sock bump.

Which is a nightmare.

Too-small socks slide down and bunch up.

Which is a nightmare.

Is a 2-6 size range for socks too much to ask for?

Apparently it is too much to ask for.

Thank goodness for flip-flops.

Categories
Family

I Pulled a Muscle in my Back

A Pulled Muscle

A Pulled Muscle

I pulled a muscle in my back.

I’m in agony.

I can’t stand up straight.

I’m hobbling around the house, barely able to function.

The guys have been kind.

They have been helpful.

They have also been mocking me ruthlessly.

They, too, are hobbling around the house, just like me.

My loving family has also added sound effects to their hobbling.

Apparently sound effects are extra-special funny.

I fear for the day when I really am old and infirm.

Bob assured me that since he is older than me, he will certainly be stricken first.

I’ll remember that.

Sound effects will definitely play a part in his crippling old age.

Categories
Lifestyle

Spring Is In The Air

Spring is in the Air

Spring is in the air

Spring is in the air.

The days are longer.

The air is warmer.

The sun is brighter.

But just in case you weren’t sure, that first harbinger of Spring has made it abundantly clear that the seasons have changed.

The fire ants are back.

Stupid ants.

Categories
Diabetes Family

It Used To Be Our Guilty Pleasure

Guilty Pleasure

Guilty Pleasure

It used to be our guilty pleasure.

The Grown Sons and I used to love those soft, frosted sugar cookies from the grocery store.

I haven’t bought them in years, though.

Because diabetes.

Today I found some in a snack pack of two cookies.

A two-pack!!

Of course I bought it.

I was thrilled.

When I excitedly showed the boys my glorious two-cookie purchase, I was met with stark indifference.

“Whatever,” they grunted and shrugged.

I guess I will be indulging in our guilty pleasure all by myself.

Whatever, indeed.

Categories
Lifestyle

Pulling Splinters Out Of My Hands

Splinters

Splinters

I spent the morning doing yard work.

I trimmed an overgrown Crape Myrtle.

I prepped my vegetable garden.

I turned the compost.

I spent the entire morning outside in the yard.

I spent the entire afternoon inside on the couch binge watching Bosch.

And pulling splinters out of my hands.

Ouch!

Categories
Lifestyle

The Weather is Starting to Say Spring

Spring

Spring

The weather is starting to say Spring.

But the calendar still says Winter.

The early morning sun now shines brightly on my kitchen floor.

And illuminates the fact that I really need to mop.

I’m not thrilled with this turn of events.

Categories
Family

The Grown Son Wanted to Shower

He wanted a shower

He wanted a shower

The Grown Son wanted to shower in the master shower.

But The Husband was on a conference call in the master bedroom.

I told him to use the hall bathroom.

But he tiptoed in anyway.

An hour later, I got a whispered, urgent phone call from the Grown Son.

Upon entering the bathroom, he realized the shower would be too loud.

So he waited.

And waited.

And waited.

He whispered angrily that he had been in the bathroom for over an hour.

I laughed and laughed and laughed.

The Grown Son was in a panic.

His phone was almost out of battery.

And the conference call didn’t show any sign of ending soon.

I told him to sit tight.

And wait.

Maybe, one day, maybe, just maybe, he will listen.

Categories
Lifestyle

The Habit of An Afternoon Nap

An Afternoon Nap

An Afternoon Nap

An afternoon nap has become my habit during these months of the quarantine.

Also, during this same time period, I have started to wake up every morning at 4:00 am.

I’m starting to think that there’s a correlation between napping and waking up so early.

To be fair, I need the nap since I get up so early.

To be honest, I would probably sleep better at night if I didn’t nap during the day.

I should probably quit the afternoon nap.

Maybe tomorrow.

Categories
Family

I Have a Confession to Make

A Confession

A Confession

I have a confession to make.

It was when I had that connection problem in the Zoom meeting.

It wasn’t a connection problem.

The Grown Son had peeked into my office.

He saw that I was on a conference call.

He got on his hands and knees to crawl below the camera.

He placed a Chick-fil-A waffle fry on my desk.

Then he winked and crawled back out.

That’s when the “connection problem” happened.

I had to turn off the camera to eat that waffle fry.

I had to mute the mic to shout, “Thank you, you are my current favorite child.”

Like magic, my connection problem was suddenly resolved.

I have no regrets.