Grand Slam Communication
My ESL students were talking about fish massage.
You take off your shoes, roll up your pants, and stick your feet in a fish tank.
Hundreds of fish swarm you and eat all of the dry skin off your feet.
They uploaded some pictures to show me how it’s done.
They are tiny little fish, not piranhas.
But still, it looks creepy.
And not at all sanitary.
I’ll pass on the fish massage…
Oh goodness.
Today I had some extra time in class.
So I asked my online English student what I foods I would eat if I visited his tiny, remote village.
I expected to hear about noodles and seafood.
He proudly recommended his mother’s mouse meat.
Um, what? Excuse me?
I asked him to write it in the chat box, just to make sure I heard him correctly.
I heard right.
Mouse meat.
Yeah, no.
Can laughter make you smarter?
This was a very interesting question posed to me today.
My answer, as an ESL teacher, is a qualified yes.
Qualified because the non-stop class clown jokes are distracting and not at all helpful.
However it is a public speaking axiom that when the audience is laughing, they are leaning in to listen.
With that in mind, I always try to get at least a chuckle out of every class session.
In teaching conversation, the human connection is far more important than grammar rules or vocabulary lists.
If I can garner so much as a hint of a smile, I know I will have a successful ESL session with that student.
On National Punctuation Day, one of my ESL students had trouble getting into the online classroom.
I had the IT guy work with him while I started up with the rest of the students.
He finally arrived.
He wrote in the chat box, “I’m in yay.”
Another student wrote, “Where is Yay?”
I didn’t laugh out loud.
I never laugh at my students.
But I did stop the lesson to discuss the importance of punctuation.
Happy National Punctuation Day!
I had three students and a slacker interpreter in my English class.
One of the students was really struggling to understand.
Usually the interpreter will jump right in to help.
This interpreter did nothing.
I asked her to please help the student.
She said, in perfect English, that she couldn’t help him.
Because she didn’t understand.
What?!?!
The students said something to each other, and they all laughed.
I don’t need an interpreter to know that they said, “slacker.”
My beginning English conversation student from Vietnam told me that he wants to visit the United States.
He wants to see the “Freedom Woman on the River.”
The Statue of Liberty has now been renamed.
In my mind anyway.
That was the cutest thing ever.
I didn’t tell my student it was cute.
He’s a cardiac surgeon.
Cute would not have gone over very well.
I’m starting a blog.
Facebook is easy.
We’re already friends.
I don’t have to explain myself.
I write my goofy stories.
And everyone knows what I’m talking about.
I don’t have to explain a thing.
Blogging is different.
People don’t know me.
I have to explain.
But explaining ruins the rhythm of the story.
It’s kind of like explaining a joke.
If you have to explain it, it’s not funny.
So I will write this first post to introduce myself.
After that, I’ll just write.
I am a mom and an empty nester.
I have two grown sons.
Both of my children are diabetic.
Diabetes is a nightmare.
But it is also our completely new-normal status.
I have a wonderful husband.
Who fixes things around the house and generally makes himself useful.
And is occasionally the subject of some hilarious stories.
I have a dog.
She is lazy but very cute and cuddly.
I often remind my family that the dog is my favorite child.
I teach English as a Second Language to adults, on line, around the world.
I am a Toastmaster.
A Distinguished Toastmaster.
Being a Toastmaster has definitely made me a better English teacher.
And a better script reader which is my second gig.
I love to write.
I’ve been reading and writing as long as I can remember.
My favorite toys, when I was a kid, were my books, a spiral notebook and a pencil.
A pencil, not a pen.
I’ve always preferred a pencil.
I was born and raised in Southern California.
We recently moved halfway across the country to Texas.
This move was not nearly as traumatic as I anticipated.
I have made lots of new friends in Texas.
I am keeping touch with my old friends through social media.
I plan on making lots of new friends through blogging.
Why am I starting this blog?
Because I’m tired of Facebook.
I’m tired of all of the ads.
I’m tired of all of the political wrangling.
I’m tired of the algorhythms that may or may not be connecting me with the people I want to be connected with.
I want to control my own platform.
I want to control my own intellectual property.
Although I use the term “intellectual” loosely.
Why do I write?
Because, to quote someone whose name I can’t recall, but I don’t want to be accused of plagiarism, “I write because I can’t not write.”