Grand Slam Communication
Unless it contains arsenic, or salmonella, or E. coli, yes, he can eat that.
To all of my fellow Type 1 Diabetes parents, let’s play a game this holiday season.
Every time someone asks, “Can he eat that?” we take a shot.
Oops, I already lost.
Yes, he can eat that.
I’ve got my eye on him.
He knows what he’s doing.
Let him enjoy his holiday.
Me: Hey, I was watching that! – to The Husband who was stealthily trying to change the channel.
Him: Sorry, I didn’t think you were still alive.
Me:
Him: Awake. I meant awake! I didn’t think you were still awake!
Nice save, Bob.
Nice save.
My ESL students were discussing the importance of sleep.
One of them suggested avoiding cocaine.
Wait, what?
Yeah, I won’t argue with that.
I also won’t discuss it.
I quickly moved the lesson forward to our next agenda item.
At a recent Toastmasters meeting, I was assigned to tell a joke.
Using my Grown Sons as role models, I thought that if I did a bad enough job, I would never be asked to tell a joke again.
Much to my disappointment, they all laughed.
One guy said that he was going to steal my joke to use at another event.
I failed at failure.
I guess I should have examined my sons’ methods a bit more closely.
This particular strategy has never worked for them.
Why in the world did I think it would work for me?
I have discovered, much to my crushing disappointment, that the dentists in Texas use the same screechy power tools that they use in California.
I was hoping for some kind of Texas-sized miracle.
That miracle did not materialize.
Luckily, my dentist is kind and patient.
If you feel a disturbance in the force this afternoon, don’t worry.
It’s just me at the dentist, freaking out over the screechy power tools.
Oh no, we have wasps!
I was home alone, and I found a wasp nest outside the back door.
With a herd of angry, violent insects swarming the wall.
Luckily, a cold front moved in.
The temperature has dropped from the 70s to the 30s.
That got rid of our angry invaders.
Otherwise, I’d have to burn down the house.
What other options would I have?
My ESL students were talking about fish massage.
You take off your shoes, roll up your pants, and stick your feet in a fish tank.
Hundreds of fish swarm you and eat all of the dry skin off your feet.
They uploaded some pictures to show me how it’s done.
They are tiny little fish, not piranhas.
But still, it looks creepy.
And not at all sanitary.
I’ll pass on the fish massage…
We are several days into the standard time change.
It gets dark so early now.
Dinner is done, the dishes are washed, and I’m ready for bed by 7:00 PM.
I force myself to stay up until at least 8:00.
….and I’m wide awake at 4:00 AM.
Can we please stop this stupid time change thing?
I informed the Grown Son that when Dad is out of town, I am on Staycation.
I don’t cook or shop.
I’m quite happy to eat toast and fruit for dinner.
The Grown Son was very concerned.
What will he eat?
I informed him that there was cooked taco meat in the freezer.
He rummaged around until he found it, and then he objected.
Because it was frozen.
Excuse me?
What did he think he was going to find in the freezer?
A hot meal?
That reminds me…
I need to add some wine to my toast and fruit dinner.
