Categories
family storytelling

Fire Ants Are Evil

Woman angry at fire ants

Fire Ants Are Evil

We’ve been in Texas for two years.

We’ve gotten rid of the chiggers.

We’ve controlled the mosquitos.

We’ve held the wasps at bay.

But there is nothing to be done about the fire ants.

They are evil.

They laugh when you spray them with Raid.

They thumb their little ant noses and continue on their devious ant missions.

I have several new bites on my hand.

How in the world did they get on my hand?

And why would they stop there?

Why didn’t they crawl up and bite my arm?

If I knew what made them stop after biting my hand, I would do that thing again.

And again and again and again.

Stupid ants.

Categories
family storytelling

Yay, Purple

Yay purple

YAY, PURPLE

When I left California, I really hated to leave my Jacaranda tree behind.

So I have planted some Vitex trees outside my back door here in Texas.

They’re not Jacaranda.

But they’re purple.

And they’re pretty.

And they’re blooming.

Yay, purple!

Categories
family storytelling

A Huge Tree

a huge tree

A HUGE TREE

I’ve got this huge tree in the front yard.

It’s out of control.

I called a tree guy in to give an estimate for service.

From a safe six feet away, the tree guy said it’s a Live Oak tree.

I kind of freaked out.

I can’t just have our oak tree trimmed in the front yard in full public view.

I need permits.

I need permission.

I will probably be refused the permit, and the tree will wreck the roof.

Eventually it will wreck the driveway, the sidewalk, the foundation and the plumbing.

And then I remembered that I don’t live in Thousand Oaks anymore.

I don’t need a permit to trim my overgrown oak tree.

Whew!

Categories
storytelling

Lifting the Quarantine

lifting the quarantine

LIFTING THE QUARANTINE

They’re lifting the quarantine a bit in Texas.

I no longer have to be angry about not being able to go out.

I can go back to making excuses about why I don’t want to go out.

It’s great to be back to normal again.

Categories
family storytelling

Spring in North Texas

Spring in North Texas

SPRING IN NORTH TEXAS

The weather is starting to warm up.

It’s not hot enough for the air conditioner yet.

But the house is feeling kind of stuffy.

With the ceiling fan on, it gets too cold.

But with the ceiling fan off, it gets too stifling.

I’m working in my home office on a lovely 73-degree afternoon with the fan on as well as a sweater.

Welcome to spring in North Texas.

Categories
humor lifestyle weather

Spring is Tornado Season

spring is tornado season

SPRING IS TORNADO SEASON

Spring is tornado season.

I was stocking up on emergency supplies.

Which got me to thinking…

Would our shelter, an interior bathroom, be called a panic room or a safe room?

I had to Google it.

It seemed, in the moment, to be much more urgent than any actual emergency.

It turns out that panic room and safe room mean the same thing.

An invulnernable shelter.

Well.

My mind is blown.

Categories
humor lifestyle

A Car Chase on TV

a car chase on tv

A CAR CHASE ON TV

There was a car chase on TV.

Everyone in DFW is talking about it.

It was kind of cute.

At least by LA standards.

The suspect appeared to be very polite.

He paused at all of the intersections.

He avoided hitting any other vehicles or structures.

He was very careful, during his off-road segments, not to damage his car.

You never see that kind of consideration in LA car chases.

When he finally stopped and got out of the car, though, he tried to run.

HAHA – nope, that’s not gonna happen.

He got sacked.

This was only mildly entertaining.

I miss LA car chases.

Categories
humor lifestyle

Hoping for a Texas-Sized Miracle

hoping for a Texas-sized miracle

HOPING FOR A TEXAS-SIZED MIRACLE

I have discovered, much to my crushing disappointment, that the dentists in Texas use the same screechy power tools that they use in California.

I was hoping for some kind of Texas-sized miracle.

That miracle did not materialize.

Luckily, my dentist is kind and patient.

If you feel a disturbance in the force this afternoon, don’t worry.

It’s just me at the dentist, freaking out over the screechy power tools.

Categories
humor lifestyle weather

That Clown is Haunted

that clown is haunted

THAT CLOWN IS HAUNTED

The storm on Sunday was severe.

The news is reporting that seven tornadoes touched down.

One of them was as big as an EF3.

I don’t like tornadoes.

At times like this, I miss California.

All I had to worry about in So Cal were earthquakes, fires, floods, power outages and outrageous gas prices.

But no tornadoes.

The thing that is really annoying me right now is that my neighbor’s massive blow-up clown is still standing.

Seven tornadoes couldn’t take that thing down.

That clown is haunted.

At least that’s what I think every morning while it watches me drink my coffee.

Categories
humor lifestyle weather

Earthquake!

earthquake

EARTHQUAKE!

There were a couple of earthquakes in North Texas today.

The biggest was a 3.8.

The news reporters, in disaster-mode voices, reported that there was no damage noted.

Well duh.

You’ll have to do a whole lot better than a 3.8 to impress this SoCal girl.

Although I shouldn’t get cocky.

I still tend to freak out over tornadoes.