Mostly True Memoirs
WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE ANTS IN TEXAS?
What is wrong with the ants in Texas?
I doused the bathroom with Raid yesterday.
Today there are still ants.
But they are not in a trail.
There is no rhyme or reason.
They were on the wall, they were in the sink, they were in a cabinet.
In California, the ants form a trail.
All you have to do is follow the trail to see where they are coming from, and then treat that area.
When you use bug spray in California, the next day there will be piles of dead ants.
There were no dead bugs in my bathroom today.
These Texas fire ants are seriously messing with me.
I think their mission is to have me use so much Raid that I poison myself.
I can only imagine their ant joy when I finally collapse from the fumes of my own bug spray.
Then they will march in and bite me, keeping me just barely alive.
So they can watch me suffer.
I was really hoping for a more dignified ending.