Categories
Lifestyle Work

This is Why I Love Pyramids!

I love pyramids

I love me a pyramid!

I love it when little kids use the wrong words.

Sometimes the mistake is so hilarious that their wrong word becomes the new word.

My kids are grown now, but we still say, “pay a chicken,” instead of “pay attention.”

When we get annoyed with each other, we snarl a contemptuous, “You d*ck”, because that’s exactly how my two-year-old said it to his big brother.

At the time, the big brother was terribly offended.

But since he was the one who introduced the little guy to that kind of language, he kind of asked for it.

This morning, I was teaching an English class to a group of second graders.

We were writing sentences.

One little girl informed me that we have to end every sentence with a pyramid.

It almost killed me to have to correct her.

I like the concept of indicating a full stop with a shrine to the ancient Egyptian pharaohs.

However, since I’m the teacher, I guess I have an obligation to correct her.

It would be a poor reflection on me if I didn’t.

But I really do like the idea of ending my sentences with a pyramid.            

It would add so much more dimension to my writing.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

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How Simple Joys Can Make Excellent Writing Topics

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Categories
Lifestyle

How To Make Gilligan Funny All Over Again

Gilligan

Last night I heard a dramatic reading.

It was a recitation of the theme song to Gilligan’s Island.

I don’t know what was funnier.

The guy doing the theatrical interpretation.

Or the other people laughing so hard.

If you’re ever in a bad mood, here’s the perfect solution.

Recite the Gilligan theme song.

Dramatically.

It’s guaranteed to cheer you up immediately.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

This post might include affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a small commission from the seller at no cost to you.

HOW TO FIND FUNNY STORIES TO TELL YOUR FRIENDS

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Categories
Lifestyle

Why AI Is Nothing More Than A Simple Tool

Nothing More

Nothing More Than a Simple Tool

The Grown Son got into an argument with ChatGPT.

Being a smarta$$, he wanted to see how far he could take the dispute.

ChatGPT ended the conversation with a link to a therapist.

On the one hand, that is hilarious.

And on the other hand, it’s a little disturbing that a difference of opinion implies the need for therapy.

Who is making this referral?

Where did the link come from?

A paid advertisement?

Does this mean that the AI text is influenced by merchants?

Yeah, I stand by my previous position.

AI is a tool, but nothing more.

Liz Brenner

Everyone has a story to tell.

Even you.

Especially you.

LEARN TO WRITE YOUR OWN FICTION!

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Categories
Lifestyle

Oh My, Now I’ll Have To Change the Names

Oh my

Oh My

I have recently met someone outrageous.

Outrageous, offensive, and unprofessional.

This is a person who you might think I would sever ties with.

But it’s like a train wreck.

I have to keep taking another look.

It’s so bad, it’s good.

It’s a demonstration of patently terrible leadership.

There is cursing, intimidating, bragging, and shaming happening at an alarming rate.

It’s like watching a bad comedy sketch play out in real life.

I’m taking copious notes.

One day I’ll write a story about it.

A fictionalized version, of course.

To paraphrase Dragnet, “The names will be changed to protect the innocent.”

Oh my.

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Categories
Dog Family

One Easy Way To Manage an Epic S**tshow

An Ep;ic Sh**show

It Was a S**tshow

A literal s**tshow.

Blue ate a HotHands packet.

We rushed her into the Pet Emergency Room.

They induced vomiting.

And emptied my wallet in the process.

They told us Blue’s stomach would probably be upset.

However, her stomach was not upset.

She was happy and sassy and had absolutely no regrets.

Several days later, we had some air conditioning guys in the house.

Blue was getting in their way, and I had a Zoom call, so I gave the dog to the Grown Son to watch.

His bedroom is right next to my home office.

Soon, I heard a frantic ruckus from next door.

Blue’s upset stomach had finally manifested in the Grown Son’s bedroom.

There was a lot of yelling.

It was, from what I could hear, an explosive, gigantic, horrifyingly messy episode.

The Grown Son was freaking out.

Bob didn’t know what to do.

I have always been the on-call person for this kind of disaster.

Since I was in a meeting, they had to take care of it themselves.

They figured it out.

The good news is that Blue has most certainly expelled any residual toxins that might have been in her system.

The Grown Son was furious that I was laughing so hard.

Until he finally started to laugh too.

Yeah, there’s nothing funnier than a s**tshow.

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Categories
Lifestyle

This Story Won’t Get Posted Until Everyone Thinks It’s Funny

It’s not funny.

It’s been a crazy awful week in my household.

One disaster is happening right after another.

Just when I think the bad luck is over, another awful thing happens.

Like the song says, sometimes you’re the windshield and sometimes you’re the bug.

This week, I’m the bug.

There’s nothing to do but take a deep breath and figure it all out.

“Are you going to post a story about this?” a friend asked.

Nope.

It’s not funny.

Although now that I think about it, maybe it’s a little bit funny.

In a grim, twisted, gallows-humor sort of way.

Yeah, I’ll write that piece.

I won’t post it, though, until the other characters in the story approve.

Yeah, I have a warped sense of humor.

But I also have standards.

Categories
Toastmasters

We Dodged a Bullet

We Dodged A Bullet

I won best table topics at Toastmasters last night.

I spoke about getting “that call” from the school.

My class-clown child generated an awful lot of those calls back in the day.

In this particular case, it was a hilarious misunderstanding.

The teacher thought it was funny.

Whew – we dodged a bullet!